THE POWER OF HUMP DAY
By the time Wednesday was over, Juliet had had enough of the day. Early that morning, she had woken up in Eric's arms, planned her day with him over coffee and eggs, and brushed her teeth next to him at his sink. She smiled the entire morning. It was the happiest she had ever been.
Unfortunately, the happiness didn't last long. Upon entering her office, she was informed that her receptionist, Sheena, had up and quit on her. Then she learned from Beth that the owners of the hotel that she hoped to design in Florida were apparently scoping out other designers. Beyond that, she'd decided once and for all to confront Jason and try to get the ball rolling on the sale of the building, only to find out that he wasn't in his office. "I can give him a message," the receptionist offered. "But I'm afraid that's all I can do."
"It's the second day in a row," Juliet said listlessly into the phone.
"I really am sorry, Miss Carson."
By the end of the day, Juliet could do nothing more than sit at her desk with her head in her hands.
"Jules?" Beth said gently, letting herself into Juliet's office. "Are you okay?"
"No," her muffled voice lamented from inside her palms. "This day has been complete shit."
"I'm sorry," she said, taking a seat across the desk. "If it makes you feel any better, there are already tons of resumes pouring in to take Sheena's place."
"What happened with her?" Juliet asked, finally looking up at Beth. "Why would she quit like that? Did we not pay her enough? Did I piss her off? She's been with us for so long."
"I know," Beth replied. "I wish I knew."
"Should we have a staff meeting? Make sure everyone else still feels secure in their jobs?"
"Would that make you feel better?"
"Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. Have you heard from Jason?"
"No," Beth said, shaking her head regretfully. "I haven't."
"Did I make a mistake? Making him our realtor?"
"I'd like to think not. I mean, I don't know him as a realtor, but he's never been anything but straight up and honest."
"You got that right," Juliet mumbled. "Beth, he knows."
Beth's eyes widened behind her long lashes. "He knows what?"
"He knows...he knows what they're all saying about me. He confronted me about it in our meeting the other day. He's...he's judging me, Beth."
"No," she shook her head. "No, that's--that's not Jason, he wouldn't do that. Surely you took him the wrong way."
"I didn't. He told me he was disappointed. Said that my 'lifestyle choice' makes him uncomfortable." Juliet sighed. "What have I done to myself, Beth?"
"You've done nothing wrong," Beth said defensively. "I'm shocked and I'm ashamed that Jason would treat you that way, but you've done absolutely nothing wrong. All you are is a simple victim of a horrible double standard that will probably never die out. If--if you were a man or one of his buddies or something, I bet he'd be cheering you on. It's a horrible world we live in when it comes to male and female standards, but if anyone should be disappointed in anyone for anything, you should be disappointed in him for being such a hypocrite."
"Except that I don't think he's a hypocrite, Beth," Juliet whispered. "I think he's right."
Beth flipped her long, ombre hair off of her sleeveless, white dress. "So you had to kiss a few toads. So what? But you found your prince, didn't you? I mean, your toad-kissing days are pretty much over, right?"
"It's still early, Beth. Let's not rush things."
"Fair enough. I'm just saying--"
"I've been trying to reach Jason since yesterday. What kind of a realtor is that? What kind of a friend?"
"And you think it's because he read the stupid tabloids?"
"What else would you think?"
Beth sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "You're right. You really have had a shitty day."
Juliet sat back in her chair and looked across the desk at Beth, with her tan skin glowing behind her white dress. Just like always, she gazed at her and wished she could be her. Just for a day. She wished she could have the perfect hair and the perfect body and the perfect family and the perfect relationship. In Juliet's eyes, Beth was absolutely perfect. How did one get to become a person like her?
"Sometimes I feel like I'm in this...in this hole that I can't dig my way out of," Juliet confessed. "I feel like I live in my own personal prison, I feel like...like I can't escape. And the only freedom I seem to feel is...I mean there are certain moments with Eric when life is absolutely perfect, but they're only moments. It's never long before I'm back in my cell or down in my hole. I can't--I can't get away."
"But what are you trying to get away from?"
"Life? Stress? I sit here and endure a day's worth of this bullshit and then I go home and it's an entirely different level of stress...you know, I was fine before Eric came along. I was great. I was happy."
Beth blinked her eyes, her face full of sympathy. "Does Eric not make you happy?"
Juliet shook her head. "It's not--it's not Eric, he's...he's great, he's perfect, it's just...it's me. It's all me. I can't...I'm scared, Beth. I'm so scared that if I make the wrong move--and I hate not knowing what to expect. Beth, he--can't even have a moment without my brain automatically gearing up for the worst."
"Jules, he would never--"
"I know. I know he wouldn't. But my...my reflexes don't know that, my--my brain doesn't know that, it's like my brain and my heart are lacking that...that one nerve that's supposed to hold them together, you know? And now...now he wants me to come to this thing on Saturday--"
"Oh, you're going to that?" Beth's eyes lit up.
"Yeah. He invited me last night. But I'm so nervous. I've never been so afraid--"
"Juliet. Sweetie. I really think it's time you talked to someone."
"I don't need to talk to anyone," Juliet snapped. "I know what my problem is, I don't need to waste time and money on someone to tell me what I already know. I just--it's gonna take time. You know?"
"But Jules," Beth objected softly. "You owe it to yourself--and to Eric--to ensure that you are your most complete and your most happy self. Mostly you owe it to yourself, but don't let your fears get in the way of your happiness. Please."
"He does make me happy," Juliet whispered.
"But do you make you happy?"
Juliet felt the emotion begin to rise up in her and she cleared her throat and straightened up in her chair. "Is it five yet? I just want to go home."
"Are you seeing Eric tonight?"
Juliet shook her head. "Uh, no. Probably not. I think I just want to be alone tonight."
"Please don't sit in your kitchen and smoke tonight. I mean, down an entire bottle of wine, by all means, but do something about that habit."
Juliet tried to muster up a smile. "I'll see."
"I worry about you," Beth said.
"Don't spend your time worrying about me. Go home and be with your man. By the way, have you talked any more about the move?"
"I think we're going to wait until his lease is up--which is pretty soon, actually. Give our relationship a little more time to...you know, cook a little bit before we jump right in like that."
"I think that's smart," Juliet nodded.
"Doesn't change the fact that half his wardrobe and his toiletries have found permanent homes in my condo. And the fact that he hardly ever sleeps at his own."
"Is that a problem?"
Beth's eyes flashed into Juliet's, her expression serious. "I prefer it that way."
Juliet couldn't help the way her heart melted for Beth. She felt her expression soften as she nearly whispered, "You really are serious about him, aren't you?"
"I just want to be with him. All the time. Every waking hour. He's so fascinating and I've learned more this past three weeks than...than I'd ever learn anywhere else. He's such a...an endless fountain of knowledge. He's this...this closet nerd--"
"You hate nerds."
"But he's the sexiest nerd I've ever met."
Both of the women giggled as Juliet began to close up her computer and lock up her desk drawer. "I think it's time to call it a night," she said. "Want to grab a drink?"
"I have dinner plans with Travis," Beth replied.
"Ah."
"He's taking me out. Like, out out. As in, he's going to dress for the occasion. I'm kind of excited."
"No sex in the men's room," Juliet advised. "It might be hot in theory, but the reality is far from it."
"Oh, trust me," Beth smirked as the two women rose from their chairs. "With the way we do things, we need a lot more space than a public men's room can provide."
As Beth headed for her office to close up, Juliet locked her office door and started across the lobby to catch the elevator with Beth when she noticed the harried activity going on at the front reception desk and felt compelled to stop for a moment. Behind the desk, one of the sales representatives, Sarah, ran around like a chicken with her head cut off.
Curiosity taking over her, Juliet made her way over to the desk. "Sarah?"
Sarah was a small girl in her mid-twenties who had just received her bachelor's degree in business earlier in the year. She barely stood above five feet with a small frame and a soft, blonde bob that she wore in loose curls. To look at her and to hear her tiny voice, one wouldn't think that she could sell ice in Hell. But she was a little firecracker of a sales person. After all, she'd certainly sold herself in her job interview. And it was because of her that Carson Innovations had landed a couple of its higher-profile accounts over the past few months. Sarah was young and she was hungry and she was exactly what Juliet needed in her company.
Now, though, it seemed like an unfortunate turn of events had caused her to wear a hat that she didn't normally wear.
"Miss Carson!" She replied, her curls bouncing with her as she jumped up from her slouch over the desk.
"Please. Call me Juliet," she smiled.
"I'm sorry. I always forget that."
"Is everything okay here?"
Sarah straightened up her tiny spine for a moment before she finally relented and huffed out a sigh, swiping her hair out of her eyes. "No. I'm losing my mind. It got so busy up here today that I have appointments written down everywhere on sticky notes that I need to organize into the appointment book and on the computer--and not just yours, but Miss Knight's and Barb's and--and even my own. And the phone calls and the emails that just kept pouring and pouring in about the job opening--"
"Didn't you forward those to Nancy?"
"Well, she's only one person, too. I forwarded what I could forward, but--oh, and I have that presentation tomorrow for the new restaurant deal that I haven't even prepared for. I never knew that missing out on one person could throw things into such a tizzy like this."
Juliet's heart went out to Sarah as she smiled and circled around the desk and sat her bags down on the floor. "First of all, you're going to take a deep breath. Why don't you hand me those...whatever you wrote the appointments down on and we'll get them sorted out. I'll log them in the book and then I'll pass them to you and you log them in the computer. Okay? One step at a time. We'll get this done."
For the next few minutes, Juliet lost herself in a world of sticky notes and scratch paper as she single-handedly witnessed her own schedule for the next two weeks. She felt a little dizzied by it, but chose to focus her energy on helping Sarah for the time being. As she concentrated on her handwriting, Beth's voice rang out across the lobby. "Jules? Are you ready?"
Juliet raised her head and smiled. "You go ahead. I'm gonna stick around and close up with Sarah. Have fun tonight. Remember what I said about the men's room."
"Please, you're going to ruin my appetite," Beth giggled. "Have a good night, ladies!"
As Juliet watched Beth disappear into the elevator, Sarah barely batted an eyelash with her parting words as her fingers flew across the keyboard at lightning speed. Juliet envied her. She wished she could type that fast. But, then, that was another reason why she hired Sarah, as well.
As they finished organizing the appointments and throwing the scratch paper in the shred box, Sarah smiled sheepishly. "Thank you for your help. I didn't think I was ever going to get that done. Please don't be surprised if any stragglers show up. I was slammed today, but I did make sure that nothing was double-booked. You have my word on that."
"I trust you," Juliet smiled. "Meanwhile, it looks like a tornado blew through here. Was this the way Sheena worked?"
"No," Sarah sighed. "It's the way I worked. I couldn't find anything so things just sort of ended up where they ended up just so I could find them again."
"Well, let's get this tidied up and then we can head home for the day. Okay?"
As the two women put things away and threw away more scratch paper, Juliet couldn't help but entertain her curiosity a little further. "Sarah? You wouldn't, by chance, have any clue why Sheena just up and left us, would you? I mean, you know we're sort of like a family here and...well, I never knew there was anything going on with her."
Sarah looked at Juliet and blinked and then she shook her head. "Mm-mm," she murmured.
"Sarah..."
Finally, she straightened her spine and sighed. "I don't like to gossip. I don't like to talk and I don't like to gossip, so whatever I tell you is simply hearsay, okay? I didn't get it from the horse's mouth."
"Okay..."
"Rumor has it that she left because she got a better offer from T&K Contracting."
"T&K?" Juliet repeated with shock. "Are you serious?"
"Like I said, I don't know if that's the actual truth. But it's been said that she's been kind of bragging about it for the past couple of weeks."
"What, so she just--just up and quits? Without notice? She's been with us for three years."
"That's all I know," Sarah said.
Sighing, Juliet gathered up her bags and walked with Sarah while she retrieved her purse and some work materials from her office. "Well, I just want you to know that I appreciate you taking on the extra duty like a champ today. I appreciate everything you do here. And you're going to rock that meeting tomorrow, so don't stress over it. I'll email Nancy tonight and start getting on those resumes and see about scheduling interviews starting on Monday. Tomorrow I'll see if Barb wants to try her hand at the front desk."
"She won't have a choice," Sarah scoffed. "I won't be here."
Laughing, she and Sarah boarded the elevator together and made their way down. Well, that was it, then. Her evening was planned. Work, work, and more work. Despite having just lamented to Beth over it, Juliet found herself grateful for the upcoming distraction. After all, Eric had been right all along. She did do her best work in socks and a ponytail.
_______________________________________
Lunch with Juliet had been impossible as Eric's own lunch turned into an unexpected business meeting. If you wanted to call it that.
Travis had called him that morning from a work site and asked him what he was doing for lunch. The plan had originally been for him to surprise Juliet with their own "business lunch," i.e. a stroll in the park, but Travis had intercepted that with the unusual sound of his voice. Now he sat across from his brother in a deli as he appeared overworked in dirt-covered boots and a flannel coat. "What's on your mind?" Eric asked him.
"Everything," Travis admitted. "Everything."
"Such as...?"
"Such as do you really think it's a good idea to go into business with these women?"
Eric couldn't hide the surprise in his voice as he sat back and examined his twin. "Do what?"
"Well, see, Beth and I, we have this thing. We don't discuss work. Ever. Work stays at work, right? And we have separate careers so it's cool. But now--I mean, it's getting real, man. Now I gotta sit in this meeting tomorrow with Beth across the table and what? Pretend like we don't know each other? It's ludicrous!"
"It's business."
"It's bullshit."
"Look," Eric said. "I had all but given up on Carson Innovations. Remember? But, then, Juliet came to me. And I couldn't pass that up. I would have been a fucking fool! But Juliet and Beth co-own that company. And I'm sure that there's not a single decision that gets made in that place without crossing Beth's desk first, okay? Bottom line is she knew what she was getting into when she and Juliet agreed to partner up with us. She knew. I think you're sweating over nothing."
Travis sighed and rested his arms on the table. "I know. I get that, I just--I care about this one. And I care what she thinks about me. And I don't want her to see me in my own work environment as some...as some bumbling idiot, you know? I don't wanna be that guy with the woman who's out of his league. I want to be in her league."
This was new and completely unexpected. Travis was an expert with the ladies, who seemingly never had to second guess himself. But now? Now he was falling apart. And Eric found it alarmingly bizarre. "Travis, you are the most confident person I know. You've always got it together, you always know what to do. What's going on with you, man?"
"Beth. Beth is going on with me. She makes me...she makes me look at myself sometimes, she...she makes me want to be a better man. She makes me want to have a plan. You know, for a suitable future. It's the weirdest shit I've ever been through but I don't hate it. I welcome it." He paused to twirl the salt shaker in his fingers. "So tonight I'm gonna wine and dine her. Take her out on the town. Show her that I know how to be a real gentleman. Not just somebody who boils brussel sprouts in his underwear. And then...you know, maybe tomorrow she'll look across the table at me and see my full potential."
"How do you know she doesn't already? See your full potential, I mean."
Travis's eyes looked up and locked into Eric's. "I just want to seal the deal."
"Look," Eric said as their food arrived. "Tomorrow won't be that big of a deal. It's, like...sort of a preliminary meeting. Our companies are getting acquainted, we're getting familiar with Carson's design and vision and they're getting familiar with our work and the way we do things. We'll go over some tentative blue prints, tentative plans, that's it. It's just like every other project meeting we've ever done. Don't lose your mind over it."
"Just do me a favor," Travis said quietly. "Just--don't let me look like an idiot tomorrow."
Eric furrowed his brow at his brother. "You've never looked like an idiot."
"I'm gonna shape up, man. Okay? I'm gonna--I'm gonna pay more attention, focus on the job. I'm gonna be better. Okay?"
"Travis," Eric scoffed. "Come on. You hate this fucking company."
"I don't have time to hate it anymore."
"Wow," Eric said, sitting back in his chair. "You're really serious."
"Yeah. Yeah, I am."
Nodding, Eric turned his attention to his food. "Okay. Okay, yeah. Sure. I'll, uh, I'll do whatever you need me to do."
As the brothers focused on their lunches, Eric couldn't help but be pleasantly surprised at Travis's behavior. He never thought he'd ever see the day where his twin would actually want to settle down. What was it about Beth Knight? What had she done to him? Whatever it was, it seemed to be good for him. Over the past few weeks, he'd watched Travis seemingly grow up and mature. No longer did he seem to want to play around the city or passively do his job just because he had nothing else better to do. He actually wanted to make an effort. With one woman and with their company. If Travis actually got his act together, then he and Eric together would be an unstoppable force. And, maybe, once and for all, their father would relent and sign the company over and subsequently stay off Eric's back for good.
For the rest of his lunch break, Eric fantasized about his occupational freedom.
*****************
Later that evening, after a full afternoon of meetings and preparing for the next day's meeting, Eric was anxious to spend the evening with Juliet. Maybe Travis had inspired him with all his talk of taking Beth out, Eric didn't know. But what he did know was that there was nothing that could wipe the grin off of his face as he waited for Juliet to answer her phone.
"Hey, babe," he said cheerfully when she answered. "So I was thinking, how about dinner tonight? Maybe a private booth, a little candlelight...dessert at my place..."
Juliet sighed into the phone. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I've just had a really bad day."
"Okay," he replied, refusing to admit defeat. "We'll order in comfort food. I'll rub your back with some lavender. Maybe draw you a bubble bath. Maybe both?"
"That sounds amazing. All of it does, really. But I have to work tonight."
"Work?"
"My receptionist quit today, it sent the entire place into an uproar. My best sales rep had to take over, it was a mess. There's only so much my HR Director can take, so I'm helping her out by going over resumes. Can you--can you fucking believe that T&K stole my fucking receptionist?"
"You're kidding."
"No. No, I'm not. At least I think I'm not. I don't know, it's just a rumor," she said, taking a breath, her voice heavy with stress. "But I have to get some help in that place and not a moment too soon. I'm so sorry, Eric. Tonight's just not a good night."
Eric was disappointed. He couldn't help himself. He supposed he'd been spoiled this past week, having spent nearly every waking--and sleeping--moment with her. Spending the night without her just didn't feel right.
"Jules," he said gently, carefully choosing his words. "Sometimes I think...you put too much on yourself."
"I don't have a choice. It's my company. If I don't do it, nobody else will."
"But you have HR--"
"I want the right employees for my company."
"Yeah, but--you can't run it all by yourself. That's why you have a staff, it's why people work for you. You're supposed to trust them to make the right decisions for you. You have to be able to...you know, give up a bit of control."
"I didn't get to where I am by giving up control," she spat at him.
"Okay," he conceded. "Okay. You're right, it's your company. Uh, look, if you need anything tonight, I'll be at home. I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"
Suddenly, her voice grew small. "Are you--are you hanging up?"
"Yeah," he said quietly. "You need to concentrate on your work."
"Oh. Well, um, okay."
"I'll call you later to say goodnight."
"Okay."
As Eric terminated the call, he stood in his kitchen and leaned against the sink in thought. He tried not to feel disappointed by the conversation, but it was difficult. Maybe he really was spoiled. Was he smothering her? He understood that she was a bit of a workaholic but something in her voice told him that it wasn't just about work. Sure, everyone was allowed to have a bad day once in awhile. But he was afraid that Juliet was a ticking time bomb and he felt like he was counting down the minutes until she went off.
____________________________________________
Juliet spent her night on her couch with her laptop in her lap, trying desperately not to think. She was grateful to have been able to focus on resumes for a couple of hours, even selecting a few that she wanted to further review. Anything was better than sitting around, feeling sorry for herself. Or even feeling sorry for Eric for having to endure her. What in the hell did he see in her, anyway?
After she finally decided to wrap up her work, she rummaged around her kitchen and snacked on random finger foods until her hunger was satisfied. Deciding to call it a night early, she hadn't realized how exhausted she was until she showered, changed into a pair of fuzzy pants and a sweatshirt, and sat on the edge of her bed. Eric had said he would call her to say goodnight, but he hadn't yet, no doubt due to how early it still was. So should she call him instead? She wasn't sure.
As she tucked her legs comfortably underneath her, her heart leapt as her phone rang. It was as if she had telepathically summoned Eric or something. She was so overjoyed with the realization that maybe they were more connected than she thought they were, that her heart was physically pained and her stomach in knots when she saw that it wasn't him.
It was Jason.
Unable to disguise her disappointment, both in his phone call and with him in general, she couldn't control her tone when she spat into the phone, "Hello?"
"Hey," his deep voice murmured.
"And?"
"And what?"
"Are you fucking serious?"
"Look. Beth already called and chewed me the fuck out. Okay? I'm an inconsiderate hypocrite bastard who never grew up. I've heard it all. I don't need it from you, too."
"You know what?" Juliet sneered. "If you're going to call me out of the blue, at your convenience, with a shitty attitude like that, then just hang up and don't waste my time. I don't need that shit right now."
"I'm sorry," he replied, his voice softening."
"Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to reach you for two days, I can't have a realtor that just falls off the face of the earth and comes around whenever he feels like it--"
"Home," he sighed. For the first time since she'd answered her phone, she detected the stress and the exhaustion in his voice. "I've been home and I haven't been taking calls. I'm sorry. Noah's sick. Had to take him to the hospital the other night and he turned up with a nasty case of strep throat. And as a single parent with a sick kid, it's not like you can just up and call a babysitter or something."
"Oh, Jason," she said softly, her heart breaking for both his son and him. "I'm so sorry. How is he?"
"Clingy. He and all his germy glory has been glued to my side for the past two days. He refuses to sleep in his own bed or let me out of his sight. I kinda prefer it that way anyway, because it hurts him to speak so if he needs anything, he can't yell for me. Tonight's the first night he's fallen asleep without me."
"That sounds like a good sign."
"Well he's had a couple days of antibiotics, but he's doing pretty well with the whole thing, considering. If I have to heat up another can of chicken soup, though, I might puke."
Juliet couldn't help but giggle. "Kids and their obsessions, huh?"
"It feels good on his throat, so it's all he wants."
"What about hot tea? Chamomile to help him rest? Honey might help with the soothing."
"That's a, uh, that's a good idea. I might try that. Thanks."
"Anytime," she said quietly.
There was a moment of silence between them, though not as awkward as Juliet would have expected it to be. Finally, he took a breath and broke it, his voice rich and soft. "So Noah's been asleep for a couple of hours now and all I've done is sit here and think. And drink a little bit. But mostly think. I miss you, Jules. And I miss Beth, despite the filthy mouth I never realized she had. I miss the bar and I miss the old days and I miss...us. I miss it all. I mean, do you ever just...sit back and think about your life? About what could be or what might have been?"
Slouching over comfortably, Juliet rested her elbows on her crossed legs. "Every day," she whispered.
"Do you miss it?"
She sat there in silence with her phone glued to her ear. She didn't know how to answer. The truth was, there was very little she missed about those days because she had just so recently come to New York from her miserable existence in Kentucky and she'd spent day after day, night after night, hour after painful hour, trying to create a brand new existence for herself. And it had taken time, but she'd done it.
"Do you miss me, Juliet?" He asked quietly.
"Of course I miss you," she replied, her voice soft. "You were one of my best friends, I looked up to you, I idolized you. But we've been over this. We've been--it just--it isn't meant to be for us. It wasn't then, it isn't now--"
"Right. That's right. The guy."
"Yes..."
Jason sighed into the phone and was silent for a moment more before he spoke. "I apologize for being so direct the other day. I was unfair to you. And I'm not just saying that because Beth handed my ass to me for it. What you do is none of my business. I shouldn't have judged you, I shouldn't have--"
"You can't hang on to who we used to be--"
"I know, goddamn it. But I come back to New York, I see you, I talk to Beth, it's like the past starts flooding back and you can't help but wonder if any of it could ever be the same again. But Beth's got her guy and you've got yours and I'm sitting here with...you know...with nothing."
"You have Noah."
"I do. I wouldn't trade him for the world."
"Jason," she said softly. "Are you...? Are you lonely?"
"I'm not--no, I'm not--I'm not--look, I called to apologize for my behavior the other day, okay? I was wrong. And I don't want there to be any bad blood between us. You got your guy, there, and I respect that. You're my friend first, Jules, you always have been."
"That's all I've ever been," she corrected.
"Let me make it up to you. Have dinner with me--"
"Jason..."
"As friends," he clarified. "Just as friends. Hell, you've already had dinner with me once and there was nothing to it. You know, we still have some catching up to do."
"I thought you'd decided you'd pretty much caught up on me in our meeting?"
"Don't be difficult. I'm trying to make amends, here."
"I'll think about it. I'll check my schedule--"
"Oh, that's right. The guy."
"Don't be disrespectful. Maybe sometime soon, when you're sober, we can have this conversation for real."
"What? I am sober."
"Goodnight, Jason."
"Please don't hang up the phone," he said quickly. "Please?"
Juliet sighed, still holding the phone to her ear.
"Don't--don't hang up mad," he continued. "Okay? Don't--don't hang up mad or irritated or--or whatever, just don't. I said I was sorry--"
"I accept your apology," she replied.
"Good. Good, I'm glad."
"I just have a lot going on right now," she confessed. "A lot of...there's a lot of confusion in my life, a lot of adjustments that I'm having to make and it's--it's really just overwhelming. I don't really know where my head's at. I'm having to accept a lot of things I never had to accept before and it's taking a lot out of me. Your, um, your perception of me being one of them. It opened my eyes that day, I really had no idea how bad--"
"I should never have said anything--"
"But maybe I needed to hear it. Maybe I need to...you know, make some changes in my life--"
"What changes, Jules? I mean, you're sitting here saying all this stuff, but you haven't actually told me shit."
Juliet opened her mouth to speak and then she closed it. No. It was too soon, if she ever chose to tell him at all. The fact that she confessed to Eric while he was a complete stranger was bad enough. The fear that Beth might give up on her nearly killed her. Too many people already knew and it hadn't made dealing with anything any easier. In fact, it had seemingly made it worse. So she let out a breath and said instead, "Personal changes. Lifestyle changes. I don't like what they write about me. I've made an effort not to pay attention to it and, deep down, I know I already knew why. Somewhere down the line I lost control of my life--which is funny because I always felt like I had nothing but control--but now it's time to get it back. Maybe, in a way, you helped me the other day. Just like you did way back then."
"I helped you?"
"Yes," she admitted. "You were such a positive influence in my life and, in that moment in time, that was exactly what I needed. And, hell, even now, Jason. You've got your head screwed on tight, you've got a career and you're raising a child and you're a hell of a father...it's like you're a real life Superman--"
"With no Lois Lane."
"You'll find her. I know you will. I don't like this side of you. I don't like you so morose and downtrodden--"
"I am human, you know. No kryptonite here, sweets."
"I would like to have dinner with you," she said after a pause. "Just like you, I miss us. I miss our friendship. I miss your smile and how comfortable you always made me feel. I don't get close to a lot of people. Only recently I've actually begun to make new friends--I think. I'm not, um, I'm not a very well-liked person in New York's social scene. I know that's my fault. But, yeah, I mean, I'd like to catch up. And maybe one of these days I can meet Noah, too. I must see your spawn, I never thought I'd see the day."
Finally, she managed to garner a chuckle out of him. "You and me, both."
"But it feels right to me, your being a father. You always had this...this natural nurturing side to you, I was always so envious."
"I love that kid more than my own life," he said. "The very second he came into this world, it was instant. In some ways I'm glad his mother turned into whatever fucked up crazed lunatic she turned out to be, because he's been with me his entire life. I never missed a moment. I'll never be more grateful for anything else."
"Jason," she said gently. "Please get some sleep. Screw work until Monday. Drink juice boxes and play board games with your boy. I'm sure that'll speed his recovery right along."
"Are you kidding? I expect that kid to be full speed ahead by Saturday. I'd put money on it. Kids are resilient, man. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen."
"Well I'm concerned about him, but I worry about you, too. Like I said, get some rest. I have to go do that whole rest thing, myself. I have a day full of meetings tomorrow. Noah doesn't know me, but kiss him for me, anyway."
"Absolutely."
"Goodnight, Jason."
"Goodnight, Jules. And, hey. Thanks for picking up the phone tonight. I, uh, I really needed this conversation."
Smiling, Juliet hung up the phone and flopped back onto her bed. Staring at the ceiling, her wheels started to turn. What was she doing, feeling happy and relieved after a phone conversation with a man that wasn't Eric? She knew the feelings were completely innocent, but she couldn't help but feel like she'd just betrayed him. Had she? Had she sat there and told him she couldn't see him tonight, only to have had an enjoyable conversation with somebody else? How could she suddenly feel like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and then turn around and feel it being put right back on? Was this what guilt felt like?
Turning over on her side, she became painfully aware of how empty her bed was. She hadn't been in an empty bed all week. The lonely sight pained her heart and she decided that what she felt wasn't guilt, it was anger at herself for denying herself what she really wanted. She had wanted to spend the evening with Eric. It didn't matter if he'd sat silently across the room all night while she worked, at least they would have been together. How could she be such an idiot? Why did she do this to herself?
She lay there for a moment more before she retrieved her phone off of her bed. Staring at it for a moment, she threw it back down. And then her feet found the floor and her hands found a dresser drawer across the room. Within minutes, she was tightening her coat around her body and locking the multiple locks on her apartment door behind her.
_________________________________
Eric sat in pitch dark in his living room, save for the way his immense TV lit it up. Large as it was, he was barely paying attention to it. There was a recap on of the fight he'd missed, but he'd lost interest in it. The more the night wore on, the more his mind wandered. And he didn't like the places it went.
It wasn't quite ten when the doorbell alerted him. Instinctively, he snatched his phone up from the arm of the couch to check for messages, but there were none. The only person it could possibly be was Travis--and he was on a date.
Surprise and bewilderment took over him when he found Juliet on the other side of the door. Her dark hair flowed over her coat and his eyes widened at the flip flops she wore on her feet. Her legs were covered in pink fleece and hanging from her shoulder was her overnight bag.
"Juliet. Hey."
"I'm sorry," she replied in a tiny voice.
"For what?"
Then her voice cracked. "For being me."
"Jules--baby, no. No. Come here, get in here."
He closed the door behind her and locked it up and then he wasted no time taking her in his arms, wrapping them tightly around her.
She sniffled against him. "This has been the worst day and my head is spinning and I don't know which way is up."
"It's okay," he whispered. "Everything is okay." He pulled away from her and swept her hair from her reddened face. "Here, let's get you out of that coat. And, uh... get those flip flops off your feet. Get you more comfortable. Okay?"
She nodded in response as he took her bag and her coat, unable to ignore the startlingly cold temperatures of the items. "Babe, did you--did you walk here?"
She nodded again.
"Why did you do that? In these temperatures? With those on your feet?"
"Because I didn't want to disturb my driver just to take me around the corner."
He jerked his head back with surprise and confusion. "You have a driver?"
"Uh-huh."
"Why?"
The ducts in her eyes finally broke and her face screwed up as the tears streamed down her face. "Because I don't have a driver's license. I don't even know how to drive. I own a town car but I don't even know how to turn it on! I'm such a loser in so many ways!"
At her sudden breakdown, Eric took a step back and blinked at her. "First of all, you are not a loser. But more importantly, you've obviously had an extremely hard day and right now I want to just get you warm and tucked into bed. Okay?"
She shook her head. "I can't. I can't sleep. There's just--there's so much--for all I know, my staff hates me and is planning a mutiny against me--"
"Just because one person quit?"
"It just reminded me that I have virtually no idea what's going on under my own roof. Then I'm about to share project plans with your guys for a building that isn't even mine, yet. They're all going to laugh right in my face--"
"Nobody's going to laugh at you."
"I finally managed to get my realtor on the phone, but he's out of the office till Monday with a sick kid--"
Eric smiled. "Well, hey, communication is still good, though--"
"Oh, and did I even tell you that the owners of the hotel I'm trying to design are out shopping other designers?"
"All of this happened just today?"
"And then you--"
He furrowed his brow in defense. "Wait, what did I do?"
"You're perfect," she breathed, exasperated. "You're the most perfect, best thing out of my day and I shot down your dinner suggestions like they didn't even matter because my brain was just everywhere. You're supposed to be the most important thing on my list and I swept you under the rug like the horrible person that I am--"
"Juliet," Eric smirked. "Darlin'. Breathe. It's okay."
She shook her head rapidly. "It's not--"
"It is. Because I say it is. Now, if you please, go in my bedroom and get into my bed. You want me to bring you anything? Hot tea? Hot chocolate? Glass of water? Flintstone vitamin?"
Finally, she managed to break a shy smile, followed by a quiet giggle. It was that split second alone that made him feel like he could take on the world. Nothing could tear him down.
"You have those?" She asked.
"No," he replied matter-of-factly. "But if they ever make them in adult versions--like, big giant dinosaur eggs or something, I'd be all over it. I'll be the healthiest kid in Bedrock."
"Or...New Rock City?" She tested cautiously.
Laughing, he crossed the kitchen and high-fived her. "Yes! I knew there was a reason we found each other!"
"To exchange bad puns?" She smirked.
"Can you think of any other reason?"
Her smile amused, she shook her head and rolled her eyes and made her way toward the bedroom. He gazed after her for a moment and smiled. He loved the way she needed him almost as much as he loved making her smile. Taking a small breath, he went through the apartment, turning out the lights, and then he followed her into the bedroom.
His heart melted when he stepped over the threshold into the low lamplight of the room. With the small lamps lit up on either side of the bed, Juliet sat up against the pillows, smoothing out the down comforter around her, in an oversized white sweatshirt and her long hair hanging from a ponytail on top of her head. She could go from sex kitten to heartbreakingly adorable in a matter of a millisecond and the roller coaster ride of emotion it caused in him was a ride he never wanted to get off of.
As he happily climbed in next to her, he could hardly wait to wrap his arms around her bundled up body. Sitting against the pillows alongside her, he wiggled his toes against her foot and she smiled as he pulled her close and wrapped an arm around her. "There," he said as he took a deep breath. "This is the way to wrap up a day. Don't you agree?"
"It's nice."
Turning his head toward her, he was met with a mouthful of hair. Batting it gently out of his way, he grinned. "You have got to be, by far, the cutest thing I've ever seen."
"Really?" She squeaked.
"Yes," he stated. "You wear all these high-heeled shoes and walk around with your chin high like you're all big and bad--"
"I do not!"
"But I know better. Underneath that game face, you're a just a tiny, little woman with an adorable little button nose that crinkles when you laugh. I know you. You can't fool me."
"Thanks for revealing this before our big meeting tomorrow. Because I'm not nervous already."
Eric furrowed his brow in confusion. "You're nervous?"
"I told you I was."
"I just...you know, thought you were having some kind of momentary breakdown..."
Juliet huffed a sigh against his body and he curled his lip up in disappointment in his own choice of words. Then she wiggled and adjusted her body, snuggling herself deeper into him and taking him by his free hand, letting her fingers run listlessly over his skin. "I don't...I don't understand what it is about me that keeps you around," she whispered. "I don't even like to be around myself most of the time. I don't know anything other than how to please myself and I'm...horribly bad at that as it is. I have nothing to offer and I'm more complicated than I'm worth and I just...don't understand what I did to deserve someone like you."
Turning his head into hers, Eric kissed her temple and rested his forehead against her. "Your heart," he answered quietly. It's pure and it's good. You have this...innocent lust for life that I'm not sure you're even aware of yet and it's so endearing and so magical. And when you smile--when your heart is full of real, genuine joy, it makes me feel invincible. And, yeah. So you have some personal things that need to be dealt with. But that doesn't make you any less of the incredible woman that you are."
"Eric, you don't have to--you don't--"
"That's how I feel. And I want you to know that you never have to question the way I feel about you. Never."
"That's...that's a big statement..."
"It's the truth." Then he sighed and rested his back against the pillows once more. "But the big question here is what about me? How did I get so lucky? You can have any man you want--any man you want, in all of New York. But, yet, after years and years of the single life, you decide to buckle down with me. The underdog. So I think the real question here is what did I do to deserve you?"
Pulling away from him, she turned her torso around to look at his face. "Underdog? You're not an underdog."
"I am an underdog," he contested. "You could have anyone you want. I mean, like, Travis is cool as a cucumber, confident and secure. Then there's Terrell, with the perfect voice and the perfect body and smooth with the ladies. But, instead, you picked me. You picked the runt of the litter. And you are not a runt-of-the-litter type of woman."
"The runt?" She squeaked. "Have you lost your mind?"
"No, I'm just reviewing the facts. I'm an underdog. I've always been an underdog. I'm technically the youngest in my family. I've always been a little puny and I got the shit end of the stick growing up. I ended up left-handed, with the shittier eyesight, the shittier dental situation, I stayed sick all the time. And, hell, even now. I was the last resort to run my father's company. I can't keep a woman for longer than two seconds because it's painfully obvious that I can't keep them interested. And I had to resort to underhanded trickery just to get a date with you. A real man wouldn't have had to do that. A real man would have walked up to you and been like, 'Come on, we're going to dinner,' and sealed the deal. But me? I chickened out every goddamn time. So, you see, I am the runt. The underdog. And I've spent my entire life scraping and clawing to reach the front of the pack. But I just keep falling behind."
Finally, Juliet turned her body completely around to face him. "First of all, I find the fact that you're left-handed undeniably sexy. I just...get turned on by little quirky traits, I can't help myself. And so what if you had to spend a little extra time becoming the gorgeous specimen you are now? At least you're a natural beauty." She paused and squeezed her breasts through her sweatshirt, causing Eric to raise an amused eyebrow. "I had to buy my body." Then she released herself. "Eric, in no way are you a runt. Or an underdog. The qualities that sum you up as a whole more than surpass the pack. And, believe me, puny is not in my repertoire of descriptive words for you."
To save the blush from covering his cheeks, he smirked at her and raised his eyebrows tauntingly. "Let's go back to the part about buying your body. What did that look like again? I didn't quite catch it."
She glared at him, but she couldn't keep a straight face. "Funny, I figured you'd prefer my hands on your body."
"You have my attention."
Her eyes darted into his and she bit her lip, her demeanor changing into one delicious and deviant. Then she reached for the bottom of his shirt and pushed upward, signifying her intent. Silently, he helped her pull it over his head. As her hands dropped to his bare chest, she purred at him, "I don't really know how else to verbally convince you that you're not a runt. But I can show you."
Eric didn't respond. He didn't object, he didn't contest, he didn't argue. He simply gave himself to her. Any time she wanted to touch his body, if even to poke his elbow with a fingertip, it was a good day.
He watched her as the chills ran through his body. Her hands carefully explored his torso, her touch so soft he could have shamelessly cried. Before long, her lips replaced her fingertips and she made a point to meticulously kiss every exposed portion of his skin. This seemed to last forever, but that was okay. He couldn't help himself when he closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the headboard. He took a deep breath of contentment and basked in her affection. Maybe he'd been starving for attention for longer than he realized.
It was when her hands fell lower when he became much more alert. He had already grown hard when she took off his shirt, but when her fingertips tucked themselves underneath the elastic of his flannel pants, that was all she wrote. Now he was nearing desperation.
She slid her fingers around and pulled downward, releasing him from his cloth prison. His eyes watched her intently as she closed her hand around him. His breathing quickened and his heart pounded. Then she brought the rest of her body back up next to him.
"Look at that," she purred into his ear as she stroked him slowly and deliberately. "Look," she encouraged. "That is not the cock of an underdog. That right there is majesty. You are an alpha. You run that pack, you call the shots. With something like that in your pants, your staff should tremble with fear whenever you walk past. This is power. This is pride. Nobody can take this away from you."
His chest heaved as he watched her hand slide slowly up him and then back down. He let her words sink in and his head spun. He had to admit, he'd always been pretty proud of his size. He knew that twins were anatomically identical for the most part, but he'd convinced himself that his dick had to at least be bigger than Travis's. That there had to be something about him that was better than Travis.
His eyes stared intently at himself and he bit his lip as she ran her tongue erotically along the outside of his ear. Finally, he whispered, "You really think that much of my dick?"
"I think that much of you," she whispered back.
As she tightened her grip and sped up her stroking, he let out a light moan. "You're right. I am powerful."
"You are."
"I am the fucking alpha male."
"Show them who you are. Make them know it."
"That feels so good," he whispered.
"You like that? Does that please you, your majesty?"
He bit down harder on his lip, the smile forming in his eyes at her ego-boosting role play.
"I could do better," she offered. "If it so pleases you."
"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"
"Tell me what you want," she hissed.
"Suck my dick."
"Are you demanding it?"
"Right now."
Pulling away from him, she licked her lips and she grinned. "That's my man."
"You're goddamn right I'm your man," he asserted through his teeth as she found her way into his lap.
The truth was, he couldn't remember the last time he'd had a blow job--and he wasn't about to tell Juliet that. He also couldn't remember the last time a blow job felt this good, either. She didn't use any fancy tricks, she didn't constantly switch up her pattern, and she certainly didn't take many breaks. The best part of it was the way she appeared to enjoy herself while she pleased him. There was nothing sexier than a woman who was into what she was doing.
And then, out of nowhere, he thought of their conversation at their first dinner. She didn't do this. She didn't give blow jobs. It wasn't her thing. And, more rapidly than he'd realized, he was going to come. Any second, it was coming on fast. And he didn't want to be a bastard.
"Juliet," he breathed. "Baby, I'm coming."
She wasn't phased.
"Babe," he groaned. "Baby, fuck. I'm coming right now."
And then he couldn't stop himself. Letting out a moan and a string of expletives, he released himself directly into her mouth. It was the best orgasm he'd had in awhile and his jaw remained slack as his breathing calmed and he kept his eyes on her, curious as to what her next move would be.
Sliding her mouth off of him, she sat up and she looked at him for a second. Her expression was non-existent as she slid her index finger across her bottom lip and pulled his pants back over him with her other hand. And then, suddenly, she grinned. "That was fun."
"Holy shit," he said with relief that washed through his body.
She giggled a little bit as she crawled back up to him and snuggled herself beside him. "That was so fucking hot," he said as he crashed his lips into hers.
"Yeah?" She smiled. "It was good?"
"You were fucking amazing." Then he looked her over. "Now let's get you out of those clothes."
"It's okay," she replied coyly, curling her knees up to her chest and letting her hand caress his exposed torso. "I'm happy you're happy."
"You can't be serious."
Letting her body fall against him, she turned her head and kissed his cheek. "I am serious. I want it to be all about you."
Jesus Christ. This was one hell of a woman.
____________________________________________________
Juliet had no idea what in the hell had gotten into her. Juliet did not suck dick. She submitted for no man, not ever.
And then Eric Reynolds came along.
Now she was fucking on her back and sucking his dick and desperately throwing herself at him at every chance she could get. And now she didn't want anything in return? Was she fucking crazy?
However, it was the truth. Pleasing him really did make her happy and it was a feeling that she had never felt before. She wondered if it was normal. She wondered what this meant, now that she had fully broken down and submitted to him, if it would do something to their relationship. Had she betrayed herself? Had a moment of weakness? Or was this finally it? Was she finally a normal human being with normal concerns and priorities, normally selfless, and relationship savvy? Was it finally her time?
One thing was for certain, sucking Eric off had truly brought her joy. She would have never thought that would happen to her.
And for once, she didn't require anything in return. Sure, the act had turned her on, but she chose not to be demanding. She wanted him to know that she cared about his satisfaction, unconditionally, and she was willing to sacrifice one night of pleasure to prove it to him.
Curled up next to him, her body turned into his, she allowed her head to rest on his bare shoulder. "The first time I laid eyes on you, you were laughing," she said softly. "You hadn't noticed me, yet, but I watched you. And I smiled because your laugh was so warm and so genuine...and I felt it all the way up on the balcony. You light up every room you walk into. Your energy is infectious and so positive...I don't think you understand how powerful your influence is. I knew my life changed when I laid eyes on you. I could feel it. And all I wanted to do was sit next to you and hold your hand and just...be there in your warmth and your light. I just wanted to be close to you. I'd never felt anything so innocent. And then you smiled at me--directly at my heart--and it terrified me because I just knew that my secret was out. I knew you felt it, too. I can't--maybe I can't explain exactly what it is that draws me to you. But I know what it feels like."
"What does it feel like?" He whispered.
"Like the home I never had. And I don't--I don't now how to act because the feelings are so foreign to me. But I know that I like them. And I cherish them. I just don't feel like I deserve them."
"That's the way I want you to feel," he murmured. "Safe, happy, and warm." Then a sly smirk took over. "That and constant, helpless, sexual arousal."
"Eric..." she warned.
"I mean it. I want you to take off your clothes. You said this was about what I wanted and that's what I want." He reached over and tucked his hand underneath her shirt and ran the backs of his fingers across the bare skin of her stomach. "Don't you want to give me what I want?"
"I already did," she whispered.
Eric shook his head in objection. "No." Then he thrust his hand inside the front of her pants, pressing his fingers against her hot skin and massaging her firmly. "That's what I want."
It took him seconds. Before she could blink, he had peeled her sweatshirt over her head and manhandled her by her hips until he got her where he wanted her. Laying on her back near the foot of the bed, she felt no other option than to lift her hips to that he could slide her pants off of her. After all, he was going to do it anyway, help or no help from her.
Juliet felt trapped but wildly turned on at the same time. However, when he opened her legs and lowered his head below her stomach, she began to panic. "Eric, that's not--it's really not necessary. You don't have to--"
But it was too late.
Juliet hadn't received oral sex in many years. So many, in fact, that the last time she remembered receiving it was back when she and her late husband were happy. It had been her favorite part of foreplay and Steve had been wildly enthusiastic about giving it to her.
When things took a turn for the worse, he stopped caring about what pleased her and she stopped being turned on by him. When she entered the dating scene in New York, her ban on receiving oral sex became one of her strictest rules for herself. Receiving oral sex was just one more way to give a man power. You laid on your back and gave him complete control of the most private part of your physical being. Juliet was not willing to relinquish any control. That was why she fucked on top. Because when she towered over the man, she was in control. Never the other way around.
But Eric? Jesus, he could do anything he wanted, anytime he wanted, as long as he was doing exactly what he was doing with his tongue right there in that very moment. She had no way of knowing whether he was actually talented or not. All she knew was that she was severely deprived and that he was doing everything right.
He was an excellent sport, not seeming to flinch or wince with pain as she clenched two full fistfuls of his hair, pulling tighter and tighter as she neared the edge. Her hips rolled repeatedly into him, high off of the bed, and her entire body shook with seizure-like fervor.
Finally, she exploded into his mouth, crying out strings of four-letter words and pet names, finishing with several heartfelt apologies for being so violent with him. Her chest heaving with breath, she confessed to him, "That's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"The ride's not over yet, baby," he breathed, rising to his knees, keeping her legs spread apart.
She watched, wide-eyed with shock, as he jerked his pants down and exposed another erection at full attention. "Again?!" Her voice squeaked out.
"You're so fucking hot," he growled as he plunged himself deep inside her. "Take it, baby. Take it all."
In that moment, lost in complete sexual euphoria, Juliet surrendered what she believed in. Sometimes, relinquishing power was good. Sometimes handing it over to a well-hung and worthy man was even better. Sometimes a man needed to be reminded that he was a man. And sometimes...well, sometimes, she decided, she would be just as happy to lay back and reap the benefits.
By the time Wednesday was over, Juliet had had enough of the day. Early that morning, she had woken up in Eric's arms, planned her day with him over coffee and eggs, and brushed her teeth next to him at his sink. She smiled the entire morning. It was the happiest she had ever been.
Unfortunately, the happiness didn't last long. Upon entering her office, she was informed that her receptionist, Sheena, had up and quit on her. Then she learned from Beth that the owners of the hotel that she hoped to design in Florida were apparently scoping out other designers. Beyond that, she'd decided once and for all to confront Jason and try to get the ball rolling on the sale of the building, only to find out that he wasn't in his office. "I can give him a message," the receptionist offered. "But I'm afraid that's all I can do."
"It's the second day in a row," Juliet said listlessly into the phone.
"I really am sorry, Miss Carson."
By the end of the day, Juliet could do nothing more than sit at her desk with her head in her hands.
"Jules?" Beth said gently, letting herself into Juliet's office. "Are you okay?"
"No," her muffled voice lamented from inside her palms. "This day has been complete shit."
"I'm sorry," she said, taking a seat across the desk. "If it makes you feel any better, there are already tons of resumes pouring in to take Sheena's place."
"What happened with her?" Juliet asked, finally looking up at Beth. "Why would she quit like that? Did we not pay her enough? Did I piss her off? She's been with us for so long."
"I know," Beth replied. "I wish I knew."
"Should we have a staff meeting? Make sure everyone else still feels secure in their jobs?"
"Would that make you feel better?"
"Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. Have you heard from Jason?"
"No," Beth said, shaking her head regretfully. "I haven't."
"Did I make a mistake? Making him our realtor?"
"I'd like to think not. I mean, I don't know him as a realtor, but he's never been anything but straight up and honest."
"You got that right," Juliet mumbled. "Beth, he knows."
Beth's eyes widened behind her long lashes. "He knows what?"
"He knows...he knows what they're all saying about me. He confronted me about it in our meeting the other day. He's...he's judging me, Beth."
"No," she shook her head. "No, that's--that's not Jason, he wouldn't do that. Surely you took him the wrong way."
"I didn't. He told me he was disappointed. Said that my 'lifestyle choice' makes him uncomfortable." Juliet sighed. "What have I done to myself, Beth?"
"You've done nothing wrong," Beth said defensively. "I'm shocked and I'm ashamed that Jason would treat you that way, but you've done absolutely nothing wrong. All you are is a simple victim of a horrible double standard that will probably never die out. If--if you were a man or one of his buddies or something, I bet he'd be cheering you on. It's a horrible world we live in when it comes to male and female standards, but if anyone should be disappointed in anyone for anything, you should be disappointed in him for being such a hypocrite."
"Except that I don't think he's a hypocrite, Beth," Juliet whispered. "I think he's right."
Beth flipped her long, ombre hair off of her sleeveless, white dress. "So you had to kiss a few toads. So what? But you found your prince, didn't you? I mean, your toad-kissing days are pretty much over, right?"
"It's still early, Beth. Let's not rush things."
"Fair enough. I'm just saying--"
"I've been trying to reach Jason since yesterday. What kind of a realtor is that? What kind of a friend?"
"And you think it's because he read the stupid tabloids?"
"What else would you think?"
Beth sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "You're right. You really have had a shitty day."
Juliet sat back in her chair and looked across the desk at Beth, with her tan skin glowing behind her white dress. Just like always, she gazed at her and wished she could be her. Just for a day. She wished she could have the perfect hair and the perfect body and the perfect family and the perfect relationship. In Juliet's eyes, Beth was absolutely perfect. How did one get to become a person like her?
"Sometimes I feel like I'm in this...in this hole that I can't dig my way out of," Juliet confessed. "I feel like I live in my own personal prison, I feel like...like I can't escape. And the only freedom I seem to feel is...I mean there are certain moments with Eric when life is absolutely perfect, but they're only moments. It's never long before I'm back in my cell or down in my hole. I can't--I can't get away."
"But what are you trying to get away from?"
"Life? Stress? I sit here and endure a day's worth of this bullshit and then I go home and it's an entirely different level of stress...you know, I was fine before Eric came along. I was great. I was happy."
Beth blinked her eyes, her face full of sympathy. "Does Eric not make you happy?"
Juliet shook her head. "It's not--it's not Eric, he's...he's great, he's perfect, it's just...it's me. It's all me. I can't...I'm scared, Beth. I'm so scared that if I make the wrong move--and I hate not knowing what to expect. Beth, he--can't even have a moment without my brain automatically gearing up for the worst."
"Jules, he would never--"
"I know. I know he wouldn't. But my...my reflexes don't know that, my--my brain doesn't know that, it's like my brain and my heart are lacking that...that one nerve that's supposed to hold them together, you know? And now...now he wants me to come to this thing on Saturday--"
"Oh, you're going to that?" Beth's eyes lit up.
"Yeah. He invited me last night. But I'm so nervous. I've never been so afraid--"
"Juliet. Sweetie. I really think it's time you talked to someone."
"I don't need to talk to anyone," Juliet snapped. "I know what my problem is, I don't need to waste time and money on someone to tell me what I already know. I just--it's gonna take time. You know?"
"But Jules," Beth objected softly. "You owe it to yourself--and to Eric--to ensure that you are your most complete and your most happy self. Mostly you owe it to yourself, but don't let your fears get in the way of your happiness. Please."
"He does make me happy," Juliet whispered.
"But do you make you happy?"
Juliet felt the emotion begin to rise up in her and she cleared her throat and straightened up in her chair. "Is it five yet? I just want to go home."
"Are you seeing Eric tonight?"
Juliet shook her head. "Uh, no. Probably not. I think I just want to be alone tonight."
"Please don't sit in your kitchen and smoke tonight. I mean, down an entire bottle of wine, by all means, but do something about that habit."
Juliet tried to muster up a smile. "I'll see."
"I worry about you," Beth said.
"Don't spend your time worrying about me. Go home and be with your man. By the way, have you talked any more about the move?"
"I think we're going to wait until his lease is up--which is pretty soon, actually. Give our relationship a little more time to...you know, cook a little bit before we jump right in like that."
"I think that's smart," Juliet nodded.
"Doesn't change the fact that half his wardrobe and his toiletries have found permanent homes in my condo. And the fact that he hardly ever sleeps at his own."
"Is that a problem?"
Beth's eyes flashed into Juliet's, her expression serious. "I prefer it that way."
Juliet couldn't help the way her heart melted for Beth. She felt her expression soften as she nearly whispered, "You really are serious about him, aren't you?"
"I just want to be with him. All the time. Every waking hour. He's so fascinating and I've learned more this past three weeks than...than I'd ever learn anywhere else. He's such a...an endless fountain of knowledge. He's this...this closet nerd--"
"You hate nerds."
"But he's the sexiest nerd I've ever met."
Both of the women giggled as Juliet began to close up her computer and lock up her desk drawer. "I think it's time to call it a night," she said. "Want to grab a drink?"
"I have dinner plans with Travis," Beth replied.
"Ah."
"He's taking me out. Like, out out. As in, he's going to dress for the occasion. I'm kind of excited."
"No sex in the men's room," Juliet advised. "It might be hot in theory, but the reality is far from it."
"Oh, trust me," Beth smirked as the two women rose from their chairs. "With the way we do things, we need a lot more space than a public men's room can provide."
As Beth headed for her office to close up, Juliet locked her office door and started across the lobby to catch the elevator with Beth when she noticed the harried activity going on at the front reception desk and felt compelled to stop for a moment. Behind the desk, one of the sales representatives, Sarah, ran around like a chicken with her head cut off.
Curiosity taking over her, Juliet made her way over to the desk. "Sarah?"
Sarah was a small girl in her mid-twenties who had just received her bachelor's degree in business earlier in the year. She barely stood above five feet with a small frame and a soft, blonde bob that she wore in loose curls. To look at her and to hear her tiny voice, one wouldn't think that she could sell ice in Hell. But she was a little firecracker of a sales person. After all, she'd certainly sold herself in her job interview. And it was because of her that Carson Innovations had landed a couple of its higher-profile accounts over the past few months. Sarah was young and she was hungry and she was exactly what Juliet needed in her company.
Now, though, it seemed like an unfortunate turn of events had caused her to wear a hat that she didn't normally wear.
"Miss Carson!" She replied, her curls bouncing with her as she jumped up from her slouch over the desk.
"Please. Call me Juliet," she smiled.
"I'm sorry. I always forget that."
"Is everything okay here?"
Sarah straightened up her tiny spine for a moment before she finally relented and huffed out a sigh, swiping her hair out of her eyes. "No. I'm losing my mind. It got so busy up here today that I have appointments written down everywhere on sticky notes that I need to organize into the appointment book and on the computer--and not just yours, but Miss Knight's and Barb's and--and even my own. And the phone calls and the emails that just kept pouring and pouring in about the job opening--"
"Didn't you forward those to Nancy?"
"Well, she's only one person, too. I forwarded what I could forward, but--oh, and I have that presentation tomorrow for the new restaurant deal that I haven't even prepared for. I never knew that missing out on one person could throw things into such a tizzy like this."
Juliet's heart went out to Sarah as she smiled and circled around the desk and sat her bags down on the floor. "First of all, you're going to take a deep breath. Why don't you hand me those...whatever you wrote the appointments down on and we'll get them sorted out. I'll log them in the book and then I'll pass them to you and you log them in the computer. Okay? One step at a time. We'll get this done."
For the next few minutes, Juliet lost herself in a world of sticky notes and scratch paper as she single-handedly witnessed her own schedule for the next two weeks. She felt a little dizzied by it, but chose to focus her energy on helping Sarah for the time being. As she concentrated on her handwriting, Beth's voice rang out across the lobby. "Jules? Are you ready?"
Juliet raised her head and smiled. "You go ahead. I'm gonna stick around and close up with Sarah. Have fun tonight. Remember what I said about the men's room."
"Please, you're going to ruin my appetite," Beth giggled. "Have a good night, ladies!"
As Juliet watched Beth disappear into the elevator, Sarah barely batted an eyelash with her parting words as her fingers flew across the keyboard at lightning speed. Juliet envied her. She wished she could type that fast. But, then, that was another reason why she hired Sarah, as well.
As they finished organizing the appointments and throwing the scratch paper in the shred box, Sarah smiled sheepishly. "Thank you for your help. I didn't think I was ever going to get that done. Please don't be surprised if any stragglers show up. I was slammed today, but I did make sure that nothing was double-booked. You have my word on that."
"I trust you," Juliet smiled. "Meanwhile, it looks like a tornado blew through here. Was this the way Sheena worked?"
"No," Sarah sighed. "It's the way I worked. I couldn't find anything so things just sort of ended up where they ended up just so I could find them again."
"Well, let's get this tidied up and then we can head home for the day. Okay?"
As the two women put things away and threw away more scratch paper, Juliet couldn't help but entertain her curiosity a little further. "Sarah? You wouldn't, by chance, have any clue why Sheena just up and left us, would you? I mean, you know we're sort of like a family here and...well, I never knew there was anything going on with her."
Sarah looked at Juliet and blinked and then she shook her head. "Mm-mm," she murmured.
"Sarah..."
Finally, she straightened her spine and sighed. "I don't like to gossip. I don't like to talk and I don't like to gossip, so whatever I tell you is simply hearsay, okay? I didn't get it from the horse's mouth."
"Okay..."
"Rumor has it that she left because she got a better offer from T&K Contracting."
"T&K?" Juliet repeated with shock. "Are you serious?"
"Like I said, I don't know if that's the actual truth. But it's been said that she's been kind of bragging about it for the past couple of weeks."
"What, so she just--just up and quits? Without notice? She's been with us for three years."
"That's all I know," Sarah said.
Sighing, Juliet gathered up her bags and walked with Sarah while she retrieved her purse and some work materials from her office. "Well, I just want you to know that I appreciate you taking on the extra duty like a champ today. I appreciate everything you do here. And you're going to rock that meeting tomorrow, so don't stress over it. I'll email Nancy tonight and start getting on those resumes and see about scheduling interviews starting on Monday. Tomorrow I'll see if Barb wants to try her hand at the front desk."
"She won't have a choice," Sarah scoffed. "I won't be here."
Laughing, she and Sarah boarded the elevator together and made their way down. Well, that was it, then. Her evening was planned. Work, work, and more work. Despite having just lamented to Beth over it, Juliet found herself grateful for the upcoming distraction. After all, Eric had been right all along. She did do her best work in socks and a ponytail.
_______________________________________
Lunch with Juliet had been impossible as Eric's own lunch turned into an unexpected business meeting. If you wanted to call it that.
Travis had called him that morning from a work site and asked him what he was doing for lunch. The plan had originally been for him to surprise Juliet with their own "business lunch," i.e. a stroll in the park, but Travis had intercepted that with the unusual sound of his voice. Now he sat across from his brother in a deli as he appeared overworked in dirt-covered boots and a flannel coat. "What's on your mind?" Eric asked him.
"Everything," Travis admitted. "Everything."
"Such as...?"
"Such as do you really think it's a good idea to go into business with these women?"
Eric couldn't hide the surprise in his voice as he sat back and examined his twin. "Do what?"
"Well, see, Beth and I, we have this thing. We don't discuss work. Ever. Work stays at work, right? And we have separate careers so it's cool. But now--I mean, it's getting real, man. Now I gotta sit in this meeting tomorrow with Beth across the table and what? Pretend like we don't know each other? It's ludicrous!"
"It's business."
"It's bullshit."
"Look," Eric said. "I had all but given up on Carson Innovations. Remember? But, then, Juliet came to me. And I couldn't pass that up. I would have been a fucking fool! But Juliet and Beth co-own that company. And I'm sure that there's not a single decision that gets made in that place without crossing Beth's desk first, okay? Bottom line is she knew what she was getting into when she and Juliet agreed to partner up with us. She knew. I think you're sweating over nothing."
Travis sighed and rested his arms on the table. "I know. I get that, I just--I care about this one. And I care what she thinks about me. And I don't want her to see me in my own work environment as some...as some bumbling idiot, you know? I don't wanna be that guy with the woman who's out of his league. I want to be in her league."
This was new and completely unexpected. Travis was an expert with the ladies, who seemingly never had to second guess himself. But now? Now he was falling apart. And Eric found it alarmingly bizarre. "Travis, you are the most confident person I know. You've always got it together, you always know what to do. What's going on with you, man?"
"Beth. Beth is going on with me. She makes me...she makes me look at myself sometimes, she...she makes me want to be a better man. She makes me want to have a plan. You know, for a suitable future. It's the weirdest shit I've ever been through but I don't hate it. I welcome it." He paused to twirl the salt shaker in his fingers. "So tonight I'm gonna wine and dine her. Take her out on the town. Show her that I know how to be a real gentleman. Not just somebody who boils brussel sprouts in his underwear. And then...you know, maybe tomorrow she'll look across the table at me and see my full potential."
"How do you know she doesn't already? See your full potential, I mean."
Travis's eyes looked up and locked into Eric's. "I just want to seal the deal."
"Look," Eric said as their food arrived. "Tomorrow won't be that big of a deal. It's, like...sort of a preliminary meeting. Our companies are getting acquainted, we're getting familiar with Carson's design and vision and they're getting familiar with our work and the way we do things. We'll go over some tentative blue prints, tentative plans, that's it. It's just like every other project meeting we've ever done. Don't lose your mind over it."
"Just do me a favor," Travis said quietly. "Just--don't let me look like an idiot tomorrow."
Eric furrowed his brow at his brother. "You've never looked like an idiot."
"I'm gonna shape up, man. Okay? I'm gonna--I'm gonna pay more attention, focus on the job. I'm gonna be better. Okay?"
"Travis," Eric scoffed. "Come on. You hate this fucking company."
"I don't have time to hate it anymore."
"Wow," Eric said, sitting back in his chair. "You're really serious."
"Yeah. Yeah, I am."
Nodding, Eric turned his attention to his food. "Okay. Okay, yeah. Sure. I'll, uh, I'll do whatever you need me to do."
As the brothers focused on their lunches, Eric couldn't help but be pleasantly surprised at Travis's behavior. He never thought he'd ever see the day where his twin would actually want to settle down. What was it about Beth Knight? What had she done to him? Whatever it was, it seemed to be good for him. Over the past few weeks, he'd watched Travis seemingly grow up and mature. No longer did he seem to want to play around the city or passively do his job just because he had nothing else better to do. He actually wanted to make an effort. With one woman and with their company. If Travis actually got his act together, then he and Eric together would be an unstoppable force. And, maybe, once and for all, their father would relent and sign the company over and subsequently stay off Eric's back for good.
For the rest of his lunch break, Eric fantasized about his occupational freedom.
*****************
Later that evening, after a full afternoon of meetings and preparing for the next day's meeting, Eric was anxious to spend the evening with Juliet. Maybe Travis had inspired him with all his talk of taking Beth out, Eric didn't know. But what he did know was that there was nothing that could wipe the grin off of his face as he waited for Juliet to answer her phone.
"Hey, babe," he said cheerfully when she answered. "So I was thinking, how about dinner tonight? Maybe a private booth, a little candlelight...dessert at my place..."
Juliet sighed into the phone. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I've just had a really bad day."
"Okay," he replied, refusing to admit defeat. "We'll order in comfort food. I'll rub your back with some lavender. Maybe draw you a bubble bath. Maybe both?"
"That sounds amazing. All of it does, really. But I have to work tonight."
"Work?"
"My receptionist quit today, it sent the entire place into an uproar. My best sales rep had to take over, it was a mess. There's only so much my HR Director can take, so I'm helping her out by going over resumes. Can you--can you fucking believe that T&K stole my fucking receptionist?"
"You're kidding."
"No. No, I'm not. At least I think I'm not. I don't know, it's just a rumor," she said, taking a breath, her voice heavy with stress. "But I have to get some help in that place and not a moment too soon. I'm so sorry, Eric. Tonight's just not a good night."
Eric was disappointed. He couldn't help himself. He supposed he'd been spoiled this past week, having spent nearly every waking--and sleeping--moment with her. Spending the night without her just didn't feel right.
"Jules," he said gently, carefully choosing his words. "Sometimes I think...you put too much on yourself."
"I don't have a choice. It's my company. If I don't do it, nobody else will."
"But you have HR--"
"I want the right employees for my company."
"Yeah, but--you can't run it all by yourself. That's why you have a staff, it's why people work for you. You're supposed to trust them to make the right decisions for you. You have to be able to...you know, give up a bit of control."
"I didn't get to where I am by giving up control," she spat at him.
"Okay," he conceded. "Okay. You're right, it's your company. Uh, look, if you need anything tonight, I'll be at home. I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"
Suddenly, her voice grew small. "Are you--are you hanging up?"
"Yeah," he said quietly. "You need to concentrate on your work."
"Oh. Well, um, okay."
"I'll call you later to say goodnight."
"Okay."
As Eric terminated the call, he stood in his kitchen and leaned against the sink in thought. He tried not to feel disappointed by the conversation, but it was difficult. Maybe he really was spoiled. Was he smothering her? He understood that she was a bit of a workaholic but something in her voice told him that it wasn't just about work. Sure, everyone was allowed to have a bad day once in awhile. But he was afraid that Juliet was a ticking time bomb and he felt like he was counting down the minutes until she went off.
____________________________________________
Juliet spent her night on her couch with her laptop in her lap, trying desperately not to think. She was grateful to have been able to focus on resumes for a couple of hours, even selecting a few that she wanted to further review. Anything was better than sitting around, feeling sorry for herself. Or even feeling sorry for Eric for having to endure her. What in the hell did he see in her, anyway?
After she finally decided to wrap up her work, she rummaged around her kitchen and snacked on random finger foods until her hunger was satisfied. Deciding to call it a night early, she hadn't realized how exhausted she was until she showered, changed into a pair of fuzzy pants and a sweatshirt, and sat on the edge of her bed. Eric had said he would call her to say goodnight, but he hadn't yet, no doubt due to how early it still was. So should she call him instead? She wasn't sure.
As she tucked her legs comfortably underneath her, her heart leapt as her phone rang. It was as if she had telepathically summoned Eric or something. She was so overjoyed with the realization that maybe they were more connected than she thought they were, that her heart was physically pained and her stomach in knots when she saw that it wasn't him.
It was Jason.
Unable to disguise her disappointment, both in his phone call and with him in general, she couldn't control her tone when she spat into the phone, "Hello?"
"Hey," his deep voice murmured.
"And?"
"And what?"
"Are you fucking serious?"
"Look. Beth already called and chewed me the fuck out. Okay? I'm an inconsiderate hypocrite bastard who never grew up. I've heard it all. I don't need it from you, too."
"You know what?" Juliet sneered. "If you're going to call me out of the blue, at your convenience, with a shitty attitude like that, then just hang up and don't waste my time. I don't need that shit right now."
"I'm sorry," he replied, his voice softening."
"Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to reach you for two days, I can't have a realtor that just falls off the face of the earth and comes around whenever he feels like it--"
"Home," he sighed. For the first time since she'd answered her phone, she detected the stress and the exhaustion in his voice. "I've been home and I haven't been taking calls. I'm sorry. Noah's sick. Had to take him to the hospital the other night and he turned up with a nasty case of strep throat. And as a single parent with a sick kid, it's not like you can just up and call a babysitter or something."
"Oh, Jason," she said softly, her heart breaking for both his son and him. "I'm so sorry. How is he?"
"Clingy. He and all his germy glory has been glued to my side for the past two days. He refuses to sleep in his own bed or let me out of his sight. I kinda prefer it that way anyway, because it hurts him to speak so if he needs anything, he can't yell for me. Tonight's the first night he's fallen asleep without me."
"That sounds like a good sign."
"Well he's had a couple days of antibiotics, but he's doing pretty well with the whole thing, considering. If I have to heat up another can of chicken soup, though, I might puke."
Juliet couldn't help but giggle. "Kids and their obsessions, huh?"
"It feels good on his throat, so it's all he wants."
"What about hot tea? Chamomile to help him rest? Honey might help with the soothing."
"That's a, uh, that's a good idea. I might try that. Thanks."
"Anytime," she said quietly.
There was a moment of silence between them, though not as awkward as Juliet would have expected it to be. Finally, he took a breath and broke it, his voice rich and soft. "So Noah's been asleep for a couple of hours now and all I've done is sit here and think. And drink a little bit. But mostly think. I miss you, Jules. And I miss Beth, despite the filthy mouth I never realized she had. I miss the bar and I miss the old days and I miss...us. I miss it all. I mean, do you ever just...sit back and think about your life? About what could be or what might have been?"
Slouching over comfortably, Juliet rested her elbows on her crossed legs. "Every day," she whispered.
"Do you miss it?"
She sat there in silence with her phone glued to her ear. She didn't know how to answer. The truth was, there was very little she missed about those days because she had just so recently come to New York from her miserable existence in Kentucky and she'd spent day after day, night after night, hour after painful hour, trying to create a brand new existence for herself. And it had taken time, but she'd done it.
"Do you miss me, Juliet?" He asked quietly.
"Of course I miss you," she replied, her voice soft. "You were one of my best friends, I looked up to you, I idolized you. But we've been over this. We've been--it just--it isn't meant to be for us. It wasn't then, it isn't now--"
"Right. That's right. The guy."
"Yes..."
Jason sighed into the phone and was silent for a moment more before he spoke. "I apologize for being so direct the other day. I was unfair to you. And I'm not just saying that because Beth handed my ass to me for it. What you do is none of my business. I shouldn't have judged you, I shouldn't have--"
"You can't hang on to who we used to be--"
"I know, goddamn it. But I come back to New York, I see you, I talk to Beth, it's like the past starts flooding back and you can't help but wonder if any of it could ever be the same again. But Beth's got her guy and you've got yours and I'm sitting here with...you know...with nothing."
"You have Noah."
"I do. I wouldn't trade him for the world."
"Jason," she said softly. "Are you...? Are you lonely?"
"I'm not--no, I'm not--I'm not--look, I called to apologize for my behavior the other day, okay? I was wrong. And I don't want there to be any bad blood between us. You got your guy, there, and I respect that. You're my friend first, Jules, you always have been."
"That's all I've ever been," she corrected.
"Let me make it up to you. Have dinner with me--"
"Jason..."
"As friends," he clarified. "Just as friends. Hell, you've already had dinner with me once and there was nothing to it. You know, we still have some catching up to do."
"I thought you'd decided you'd pretty much caught up on me in our meeting?"
"Don't be difficult. I'm trying to make amends, here."
"I'll think about it. I'll check my schedule--"
"Oh, that's right. The guy."
"Don't be disrespectful. Maybe sometime soon, when you're sober, we can have this conversation for real."
"What? I am sober."
"Goodnight, Jason."
"Please don't hang up the phone," he said quickly. "Please?"
Juliet sighed, still holding the phone to her ear.
"Don't--don't hang up mad," he continued. "Okay? Don't--don't hang up mad or irritated or--or whatever, just don't. I said I was sorry--"
"I accept your apology," she replied.
"Good. Good, I'm glad."
"I just have a lot going on right now," she confessed. "A lot of...there's a lot of confusion in my life, a lot of adjustments that I'm having to make and it's--it's really just overwhelming. I don't really know where my head's at. I'm having to accept a lot of things I never had to accept before and it's taking a lot out of me. Your, um, your perception of me being one of them. It opened my eyes that day, I really had no idea how bad--"
"I should never have said anything--"
"But maybe I needed to hear it. Maybe I need to...you know, make some changes in my life--"
"What changes, Jules? I mean, you're sitting here saying all this stuff, but you haven't actually told me shit."
Juliet opened her mouth to speak and then she closed it. No. It was too soon, if she ever chose to tell him at all. The fact that she confessed to Eric while he was a complete stranger was bad enough. The fear that Beth might give up on her nearly killed her. Too many people already knew and it hadn't made dealing with anything any easier. In fact, it had seemingly made it worse. So she let out a breath and said instead, "Personal changes. Lifestyle changes. I don't like what they write about me. I've made an effort not to pay attention to it and, deep down, I know I already knew why. Somewhere down the line I lost control of my life--which is funny because I always felt like I had nothing but control--but now it's time to get it back. Maybe, in a way, you helped me the other day. Just like you did way back then."
"I helped you?"
"Yes," she admitted. "You were such a positive influence in my life and, in that moment in time, that was exactly what I needed. And, hell, even now, Jason. You've got your head screwed on tight, you've got a career and you're raising a child and you're a hell of a father...it's like you're a real life Superman--"
"With no Lois Lane."
"You'll find her. I know you will. I don't like this side of you. I don't like you so morose and downtrodden--"
"I am human, you know. No kryptonite here, sweets."
"I would like to have dinner with you," she said after a pause. "Just like you, I miss us. I miss our friendship. I miss your smile and how comfortable you always made me feel. I don't get close to a lot of people. Only recently I've actually begun to make new friends--I think. I'm not, um, I'm not a very well-liked person in New York's social scene. I know that's my fault. But, yeah, I mean, I'd like to catch up. And maybe one of these days I can meet Noah, too. I must see your spawn, I never thought I'd see the day."
Finally, she managed to garner a chuckle out of him. "You and me, both."
"But it feels right to me, your being a father. You always had this...this natural nurturing side to you, I was always so envious."
"I love that kid more than my own life," he said. "The very second he came into this world, it was instant. In some ways I'm glad his mother turned into whatever fucked up crazed lunatic she turned out to be, because he's been with me his entire life. I never missed a moment. I'll never be more grateful for anything else."
"Jason," she said gently. "Please get some sleep. Screw work until Monday. Drink juice boxes and play board games with your boy. I'm sure that'll speed his recovery right along."
"Are you kidding? I expect that kid to be full speed ahead by Saturday. I'd put money on it. Kids are resilient, man. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen."
"Well I'm concerned about him, but I worry about you, too. Like I said, get some rest. I have to go do that whole rest thing, myself. I have a day full of meetings tomorrow. Noah doesn't know me, but kiss him for me, anyway."
"Absolutely."
"Goodnight, Jason."
"Goodnight, Jules. And, hey. Thanks for picking up the phone tonight. I, uh, I really needed this conversation."
Smiling, Juliet hung up the phone and flopped back onto her bed. Staring at the ceiling, her wheels started to turn. What was she doing, feeling happy and relieved after a phone conversation with a man that wasn't Eric? She knew the feelings were completely innocent, but she couldn't help but feel like she'd just betrayed him. Had she? Had she sat there and told him she couldn't see him tonight, only to have had an enjoyable conversation with somebody else? How could she suddenly feel like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and then turn around and feel it being put right back on? Was this what guilt felt like?
Turning over on her side, she became painfully aware of how empty her bed was. She hadn't been in an empty bed all week. The lonely sight pained her heart and she decided that what she felt wasn't guilt, it was anger at herself for denying herself what she really wanted. She had wanted to spend the evening with Eric. It didn't matter if he'd sat silently across the room all night while she worked, at least they would have been together. How could she be such an idiot? Why did she do this to herself?
She lay there for a moment more before she retrieved her phone off of her bed. Staring at it for a moment, she threw it back down. And then her feet found the floor and her hands found a dresser drawer across the room. Within minutes, she was tightening her coat around her body and locking the multiple locks on her apartment door behind her.
_________________________________
Eric sat in pitch dark in his living room, save for the way his immense TV lit it up. Large as it was, he was barely paying attention to it. There was a recap on of the fight he'd missed, but he'd lost interest in it. The more the night wore on, the more his mind wandered. And he didn't like the places it went.
It wasn't quite ten when the doorbell alerted him. Instinctively, he snatched his phone up from the arm of the couch to check for messages, but there were none. The only person it could possibly be was Travis--and he was on a date.
Surprise and bewilderment took over him when he found Juliet on the other side of the door. Her dark hair flowed over her coat and his eyes widened at the flip flops she wore on her feet. Her legs were covered in pink fleece and hanging from her shoulder was her overnight bag.
"Juliet. Hey."
"I'm sorry," she replied in a tiny voice.
"For what?"
Then her voice cracked. "For being me."
"Jules--baby, no. No. Come here, get in here."
He closed the door behind her and locked it up and then he wasted no time taking her in his arms, wrapping them tightly around her.
She sniffled against him. "This has been the worst day and my head is spinning and I don't know which way is up."
"It's okay," he whispered. "Everything is okay." He pulled away from her and swept her hair from her reddened face. "Here, let's get you out of that coat. And, uh... get those flip flops off your feet. Get you more comfortable. Okay?"
She nodded in response as he took her bag and her coat, unable to ignore the startlingly cold temperatures of the items. "Babe, did you--did you walk here?"
She nodded again.
"Why did you do that? In these temperatures? With those on your feet?"
"Because I didn't want to disturb my driver just to take me around the corner."
He jerked his head back with surprise and confusion. "You have a driver?"
"Uh-huh."
"Why?"
The ducts in her eyes finally broke and her face screwed up as the tears streamed down her face. "Because I don't have a driver's license. I don't even know how to drive. I own a town car but I don't even know how to turn it on! I'm such a loser in so many ways!"
At her sudden breakdown, Eric took a step back and blinked at her. "First of all, you are not a loser. But more importantly, you've obviously had an extremely hard day and right now I want to just get you warm and tucked into bed. Okay?"
She shook her head. "I can't. I can't sleep. There's just--there's so much--for all I know, my staff hates me and is planning a mutiny against me--"
"Just because one person quit?"
"It just reminded me that I have virtually no idea what's going on under my own roof. Then I'm about to share project plans with your guys for a building that isn't even mine, yet. They're all going to laugh right in my face--"
"Nobody's going to laugh at you."
"I finally managed to get my realtor on the phone, but he's out of the office till Monday with a sick kid--"
Eric smiled. "Well, hey, communication is still good, though--"
"Oh, and did I even tell you that the owners of the hotel I'm trying to design are out shopping other designers?"
"All of this happened just today?"
"And then you--"
He furrowed his brow in defense. "Wait, what did I do?"
"You're perfect," she breathed, exasperated. "You're the most perfect, best thing out of my day and I shot down your dinner suggestions like they didn't even matter because my brain was just everywhere. You're supposed to be the most important thing on my list and I swept you under the rug like the horrible person that I am--"
"Juliet," Eric smirked. "Darlin'. Breathe. It's okay."
She shook her head rapidly. "It's not--"
"It is. Because I say it is. Now, if you please, go in my bedroom and get into my bed. You want me to bring you anything? Hot tea? Hot chocolate? Glass of water? Flintstone vitamin?"
Finally, she managed to break a shy smile, followed by a quiet giggle. It was that split second alone that made him feel like he could take on the world. Nothing could tear him down.
"You have those?" She asked.
"No," he replied matter-of-factly. "But if they ever make them in adult versions--like, big giant dinosaur eggs or something, I'd be all over it. I'll be the healthiest kid in Bedrock."
"Or...New Rock City?" She tested cautiously.
Laughing, he crossed the kitchen and high-fived her. "Yes! I knew there was a reason we found each other!"
"To exchange bad puns?" She smirked.
"Can you think of any other reason?"
Her smile amused, she shook her head and rolled her eyes and made her way toward the bedroom. He gazed after her for a moment and smiled. He loved the way she needed him almost as much as he loved making her smile. Taking a small breath, he went through the apartment, turning out the lights, and then he followed her into the bedroom.
His heart melted when he stepped over the threshold into the low lamplight of the room. With the small lamps lit up on either side of the bed, Juliet sat up against the pillows, smoothing out the down comforter around her, in an oversized white sweatshirt and her long hair hanging from a ponytail on top of her head. She could go from sex kitten to heartbreakingly adorable in a matter of a millisecond and the roller coaster ride of emotion it caused in him was a ride he never wanted to get off of.
As he happily climbed in next to her, he could hardly wait to wrap his arms around her bundled up body. Sitting against the pillows alongside her, he wiggled his toes against her foot and she smiled as he pulled her close and wrapped an arm around her. "There," he said as he took a deep breath. "This is the way to wrap up a day. Don't you agree?"
"It's nice."
Turning his head toward her, he was met with a mouthful of hair. Batting it gently out of his way, he grinned. "You have got to be, by far, the cutest thing I've ever seen."
"Really?" She squeaked.
"Yes," he stated. "You wear all these high-heeled shoes and walk around with your chin high like you're all big and bad--"
"I do not!"
"But I know better. Underneath that game face, you're a just a tiny, little woman with an adorable little button nose that crinkles when you laugh. I know you. You can't fool me."
"Thanks for revealing this before our big meeting tomorrow. Because I'm not nervous already."
Eric furrowed his brow in confusion. "You're nervous?"
"I told you I was."
"I just...you know, thought you were having some kind of momentary breakdown..."
Juliet huffed a sigh against his body and he curled his lip up in disappointment in his own choice of words. Then she wiggled and adjusted her body, snuggling herself deeper into him and taking him by his free hand, letting her fingers run listlessly over his skin. "I don't...I don't understand what it is about me that keeps you around," she whispered. "I don't even like to be around myself most of the time. I don't know anything other than how to please myself and I'm...horribly bad at that as it is. I have nothing to offer and I'm more complicated than I'm worth and I just...don't understand what I did to deserve someone like you."
Turning his head into hers, Eric kissed her temple and rested his forehead against her. "Your heart," he answered quietly. It's pure and it's good. You have this...innocent lust for life that I'm not sure you're even aware of yet and it's so endearing and so magical. And when you smile--when your heart is full of real, genuine joy, it makes me feel invincible. And, yeah. So you have some personal things that need to be dealt with. But that doesn't make you any less of the incredible woman that you are."
"Eric, you don't have to--you don't--"
"That's how I feel. And I want you to know that you never have to question the way I feel about you. Never."
"That's...that's a big statement..."
"It's the truth." Then he sighed and rested his back against the pillows once more. "But the big question here is what about me? How did I get so lucky? You can have any man you want--any man you want, in all of New York. But, yet, after years and years of the single life, you decide to buckle down with me. The underdog. So I think the real question here is what did I do to deserve you?"
Pulling away from him, she turned her torso around to look at his face. "Underdog? You're not an underdog."
"I am an underdog," he contested. "You could have anyone you want. I mean, like, Travis is cool as a cucumber, confident and secure. Then there's Terrell, with the perfect voice and the perfect body and smooth with the ladies. But, instead, you picked me. You picked the runt of the litter. And you are not a runt-of-the-litter type of woman."
"The runt?" She squeaked. "Have you lost your mind?"
"No, I'm just reviewing the facts. I'm an underdog. I've always been an underdog. I'm technically the youngest in my family. I've always been a little puny and I got the shit end of the stick growing up. I ended up left-handed, with the shittier eyesight, the shittier dental situation, I stayed sick all the time. And, hell, even now. I was the last resort to run my father's company. I can't keep a woman for longer than two seconds because it's painfully obvious that I can't keep them interested. And I had to resort to underhanded trickery just to get a date with you. A real man wouldn't have had to do that. A real man would have walked up to you and been like, 'Come on, we're going to dinner,' and sealed the deal. But me? I chickened out every goddamn time. So, you see, I am the runt. The underdog. And I've spent my entire life scraping and clawing to reach the front of the pack. But I just keep falling behind."
Finally, Juliet turned her body completely around to face him. "First of all, I find the fact that you're left-handed undeniably sexy. I just...get turned on by little quirky traits, I can't help myself. And so what if you had to spend a little extra time becoming the gorgeous specimen you are now? At least you're a natural beauty." She paused and squeezed her breasts through her sweatshirt, causing Eric to raise an amused eyebrow. "I had to buy my body." Then she released herself. "Eric, in no way are you a runt. Or an underdog. The qualities that sum you up as a whole more than surpass the pack. And, believe me, puny is not in my repertoire of descriptive words for you."
To save the blush from covering his cheeks, he smirked at her and raised his eyebrows tauntingly. "Let's go back to the part about buying your body. What did that look like again? I didn't quite catch it."
She glared at him, but she couldn't keep a straight face. "Funny, I figured you'd prefer my hands on your body."
"You have my attention."
Her eyes darted into his and she bit her lip, her demeanor changing into one delicious and deviant. Then she reached for the bottom of his shirt and pushed upward, signifying her intent. Silently, he helped her pull it over his head. As her hands dropped to his bare chest, she purred at him, "I don't really know how else to verbally convince you that you're not a runt. But I can show you."
Eric didn't respond. He didn't object, he didn't contest, he didn't argue. He simply gave himself to her. Any time she wanted to touch his body, if even to poke his elbow with a fingertip, it was a good day.
He watched her as the chills ran through his body. Her hands carefully explored his torso, her touch so soft he could have shamelessly cried. Before long, her lips replaced her fingertips and she made a point to meticulously kiss every exposed portion of his skin. This seemed to last forever, but that was okay. He couldn't help himself when he closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the headboard. He took a deep breath of contentment and basked in her affection. Maybe he'd been starving for attention for longer than he realized.
It was when her hands fell lower when he became much more alert. He had already grown hard when she took off his shirt, but when her fingertips tucked themselves underneath the elastic of his flannel pants, that was all she wrote. Now he was nearing desperation.
She slid her fingers around and pulled downward, releasing him from his cloth prison. His eyes watched her intently as she closed her hand around him. His breathing quickened and his heart pounded. Then she brought the rest of her body back up next to him.
"Look at that," she purred into his ear as she stroked him slowly and deliberately. "Look," she encouraged. "That is not the cock of an underdog. That right there is majesty. You are an alpha. You run that pack, you call the shots. With something like that in your pants, your staff should tremble with fear whenever you walk past. This is power. This is pride. Nobody can take this away from you."
His chest heaved as he watched her hand slide slowly up him and then back down. He let her words sink in and his head spun. He had to admit, he'd always been pretty proud of his size. He knew that twins were anatomically identical for the most part, but he'd convinced himself that his dick had to at least be bigger than Travis's. That there had to be something about him that was better than Travis.
His eyes stared intently at himself and he bit his lip as she ran her tongue erotically along the outside of his ear. Finally, he whispered, "You really think that much of my dick?"
"I think that much of you," she whispered back.
As she tightened her grip and sped up her stroking, he let out a light moan. "You're right. I am powerful."
"You are."
"I am the fucking alpha male."
"Show them who you are. Make them know it."
"That feels so good," he whispered.
"You like that? Does that please you, your majesty?"
He bit down harder on his lip, the smile forming in his eyes at her ego-boosting role play.
"I could do better," she offered. "If it so pleases you."
"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"
"Tell me what you want," she hissed.
"Suck my dick."
"Are you demanding it?"
"Right now."
Pulling away from him, she licked her lips and she grinned. "That's my man."
"You're goddamn right I'm your man," he asserted through his teeth as she found her way into his lap.
The truth was, he couldn't remember the last time he'd had a blow job--and he wasn't about to tell Juliet that. He also couldn't remember the last time a blow job felt this good, either. She didn't use any fancy tricks, she didn't constantly switch up her pattern, and she certainly didn't take many breaks. The best part of it was the way she appeared to enjoy herself while she pleased him. There was nothing sexier than a woman who was into what she was doing.
And then, out of nowhere, he thought of their conversation at their first dinner. She didn't do this. She didn't give blow jobs. It wasn't her thing. And, more rapidly than he'd realized, he was going to come. Any second, it was coming on fast. And he didn't want to be a bastard.
"Juliet," he breathed. "Baby, I'm coming."
She wasn't phased.
"Babe," he groaned. "Baby, fuck. I'm coming right now."
And then he couldn't stop himself. Letting out a moan and a string of expletives, he released himself directly into her mouth. It was the best orgasm he'd had in awhile and his jaw remained slack as his breathing calmed and he kept his eyes on her, curious as to what her next move would be.
Sliding her mouth off of him, she sat up and she looked at him for a second. Her expression was non-existent as she slid her index finger across her bottom lip and pulled his pants back over him with her other hand. And then, suddenly, she grinned. "That was fun."
"Holy shit," he said with relief that washed through his body.
She giggled a little bit as she crawled back up to him and snuggled herself beside him. "That was so fucking hot," he said as he crashed his lips into hers.
"Yeah?" She smiled. "It was good?"
"You were fucking amazing." Then he looked her over. "Now let's get you out of those clothes."
"It's okay," she replied coyly, curling her knees up to her chest and letting her hand caress his exposed torso. "I'm happy you're happy."
"You can't be serious."
Letting her body fall against him, she turned her head and kissed his cheek. "I am serious. I want it to be all about you."
Jesus Christ. This was one hell of a woman.
____________________________________________________
Juliet had no idea what in the hell had gotten into her. Juliet did not suck dick. She submitted for no man, not ever.
And then Eric Reynolds came along.
Now she was fucking on her back and sucking his dick and desperately throwing herself at him at every chance she could get. And now she didn't want anything in return? Was she fucking crazy?
However, it was the truth. Pleasing him really did make her happy and it was a feeling that she had never felt before. She wondered if it was normal. She wondered what this meant, now that she had fully broken down and submitted to him, if it would do something to their relationship. Had she betrayed herself? Had a moment of weakness? Or was this finally it? Was she finally a normal human being with normal concerns and priorities, normally selfless, and relationship savvy? Was it finally her time?
One thing was for certain, sucking Eric off had truly brought her joy. She would have never thought that would happen to her.
And for once, she didn't require anything in return. Sure, the act had turned her on, but she chose not to be demanding. She wanted him to know that she cared about his satisfaction, unconditionally, and she was willing to sacrifice one night of pleasure to prove it to him.
Curled up next to him, her body turned into his, she allowed her head to rest on his bare shoulder. "The first time I laid eyes on you, you were laughing," she said softly. "You hadn't noticed me, yet, but I watched you. And I smiled because your laugh was so warm and so genuine...and I felt it all the way up on the balcony. You light up every room you walk into. Your energy is infectious and so positive...I don't think you understand how powerful your influence is. I knew my life changed when I laid eyes on you. I could feel it. And all I wanted to do was sit next to you and hold your hand and just...be there in your warmth and your light. I just wanted to be close to you. I'd never felt anything so innocent. And then you smiled at me--directly at my heart--and it terrified me because I just knew that my secret was out. I knew you felt it, too. I can't--maybe I can't explain exactly what it is that draws me to you. But I know what it feels like."
"What does it feel like?" He whispered.
"Like the home I never had. And I don't--I don't now how to act because the feelings are so foreign to me. But I know that I like them. And I cherish them. I just don't feel like I deserve them."
"That's the way I want you to feel," he murmured. "Safe, happy, and warm." Then a sly smirk took over. "That and constant, helpless, sexual arousal."
"Eric..." she warned.
"I mean it. I want you to take off your clothes. You said this was about what I wanted and that's what I want." He reached over and tucked his hand underneath her shirt and ran the backs of his fingers across the bare skin of her stomach. "Don't you want to give me what I want?"
"I already did," she whispered.
Eric shook his head in objection. "No." Then he thrust his hand inside the front of her pants, pressing his fingers against her hot skin and massaging her firmly. "That's what I want."
It took him seconds. Before she could blink, he had peeled her sweatshirt over her head and manhandled her by her hips until he got her where he wanted her. Laying on her back near the foot of the bed, she felt no other option than to lift her hips to that he could slide her pants off of her. After all, he was going to do it anyway, help or no help from her.
Juliet felt trapped but wildly turned on at the same time. However, when he opened her legs and lowered his head below her stomach, she began to panic. "Eric, that's not--it's really not necessary. You don't have to--"
But it was too late.
Juliet hadn't received oral sex in many years. So many, in fact, that the last time she remembered receiving it was back when she and her late husband were happy. It had been her favorite part of foreplay and Steve had been wildly enthusiastic about giving it to her.
When things took a turn for the worse, he stopped caring about what pleased her and she stopped being turned on by him. When she entered the dating scene in New York, her ban on receiving oral sex became one of her strictest rules for herself. Receiving oral sex was just one more way to give a man power. You laid on your back and gave him complete control of the most private part of your physical being. Juliet was not willing to relinquish any control. That was why she fucked on top. Because when she towered over the man, she was in control. Never the other way around.
But Eric? Jesus, he could do anything he wanted, anytime he wanted, as long as he was doing exactly what he was doing with his tongue right there in that very moment. She had no way of knowing whether he was actually talented or not. All she knew was that she was severely deprived and that he was doing everything right.
He was an excellent sport, not seeming to flinch or wince with pain as she clenched two full fistfuls of his hair, pulling tighter and tighter as she neared the edge. Her hips rolled repeatedly into him, high off of the bed, and her entire body shook with seizure-like fervor.
Finally, she exploded into his mouth, crying out strings of four-letter words and pet names, finishing with several heartfelt apologies for being so violent with him. Her chest heaving with breath, she confessed to him, "That's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"The ride's not over yet, baby," he breathed, rising to his knees, keeping her legs spread apart.
She watched, wide-eyed with shock, as he jerked his pants down and exposed another erection at full attention. "Again?!" Her voice squeaked out.
"You're so fucking hot," he growled as he plunged himself deep inside her. "Take it, baby. Take it all."
In that moment, lost in complete sexual euphoria, Juliet surrendered what she believed in. Sometimes, relinquishing power was good. Sometimes handing it over to a well-hung and worthy man was even better. Sometimes a man needed to be reminded that he was a man. And sometimes...well, sometimes, she decided, she would be just as happy to lay back and reap the benefits.