LOST
“Travis,” Eric’s voice came out in a wrangled whisper as he stood on the sidewalk in the cold, December air. “Come get me.”
Naturally, the alarm rose in Eric’s twin’s voice. “Where are you?”
“I’m at—“ Eric looked around on the overcast city and he realized that he hadn’t moved an inch since he stepped out of Juliet’s apartment building. “I’m at, um…I’m at Juliet’s. Outside the building.”
He could hear Travis’s throat catch over the phone as if he wanted to say something, but instead he merely spat, “I’m on my way.”
“Are you busy? Because if you are…”
“I said I’m on my way. Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.”
And that was the truth. Eric felt like he’d stepped into another dimension. He felt like his soul had detached from his body and was now floating around aimlessly with no intended direction, just…lost. Eric was lost. And he had no idea how to find his way back—or even if he wanted to.
The episode that had occurred mere minutes ago played out in his mind over and over. He couldn’t shut it off. How could he have said something like that to her? How could the words have ever have left his lips? How could the notion ever enter his mind? She had wanted to be with him. She’d said it, on her own free will. Why hadn’t he taken it and ran with it? Why hadn’t he jumped for joy and taken her in his arms and made all the promises to her that he’d already intended to keep? He could be happy right now—the both of them could be blissfully happy together. She wanted him and he…he shit all over it.
Now she didn’t trust him. She didn’t trust him, she never wanted to see him again, she was through. And he’d done it all himself. He did. He couldn’t blame her for any of it. She’d melted in his arms, apologized to him, told him several times how much she wanted him, how wonderful she thought he was. And then he…said the worst thing a person could ever say to her. He became the one person that she’d finally grown to believe he wasn’t—and he’d blown it all. All of it, his life, his love, his future.
Eric was sick. He was a monster. He needed help.
Within minutes, a yellow taxi squealed to a halt on the curb in front of Eric and Travis bounded out of it, palming several bills into the driver’s hand through the front window. Eric didn’t have time to comment on Travis’s lack of a vehicle, he was grateful to see a familiar face—one that he hoped wouldn’t judge him too harshly when he found out what he’d done.
Eric had no idea what he must have looked like in the moment, but according to Travis’s reaction, it couldn’t have been good. Travis bounded up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders and nearly shoved his face into Eric’s. “Eric? What’s going on? What happened?”
“It’s over,” Eric murmured.
“You said that already.”
“Huh?” Eric struggled to focus.
“The other day. You said that. And now you’re standing outside her building looking like you’re…like you’re going into shock or something. What happened? Do I—do we…need to…you know, call someone?”
“It’s over,” Eric repeated.
“Where’s your truck?”
Eric’s truck? That was a good question. Where the hell was Eric’s truck? Had he even driven it here? He knew he drove it to the gym because he remembered tossing his gym bag into the front seat. But now?
“My truck?”
“That’s it,” Travis said hastily. “I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“No!” Eric objected, clarity finally finding him. For the first time, he could see Travis in full technicolor, he could see his own breath puffing into the air. “I don’t need to go to the hospital. My truck’s around the corner.”
Turning on his heel, Travis took a few steps in the direction Eric’s thumb pointed in, Eric set to follow. Suddenly, Travis halted and he whirled around and faced his brother. “Eric,” he said solemnly. “Juliet. Is she…is she okay?”
The question caught Eric off guard, but he swallowed a lump at the sound of her name anyway. “Um…I hurt her…really bad.”
Terror filled Travis’s eyes and the blood drained from his face. “Eric! Eric, how could--? How bad? What did you--?’
Finally, alarm filled Eric’s own eyes when he realized what Travis was getting at. “What? What, you think--? No! I mean, yeah, I learned that I’m a monster today, but do you really think I’d--? No, she’s perfectly safe, all ten fingers and toes, everything intact, I just…can’t really say much for her emotions or her trust anymore.”
Relief filled his twin, his shoulders relaxing and the color returning to his face. “Sorry, man, I just…you’re just acting so weird and your words were kinda cryptic…”
“Just get me out of here,” Eric breathed.
As Eric sat in the passenger seat of his own vehicle, looking mindlessly out the window, the truck was silent. There was no music, no radio, no Travis attempting to make small talk. All that could be heard was the muffled traffic and voices of the city outside the windows and the sound of the heat as it blew through the vents. It wasn’t until they were several blocks away from Juliet’s that Eric realized that Travis hadn’t hung a left around the block a long time ago and that they were driving away from Eric’s condo.
“Where are we going?” Eric asked.
“My place,” Travis said.
“Shit,” Eric hissed. “No. Take me home. I can’t—Beth probably already knows by now and I can’t walk in there and—and I can’t take anymore, dude. I can’t do it. I mean, I deserve it, but I can’t face Beth right now. I haven’t even had adequate time to process any of it myself.”
“Then why don’t you start at the beginning? What happened? I’ll start. Friday it’s over. We eat pizza, you realize you’re a moron, then Sunday I’m picking you up from outside her place. Start there.”
“Travis, I—don’t make me say it. I can’t even say it. To say it the first time was…”
“So you said something to her.”
“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
“Don’t you think you’re being just a little melodramatic?”
Eric shook his head. “No. I’m not.”
“Look. I’m gonna take you to my place and I’m gonna need you to eat. Okay?”
“Why does it always come down to food?”
“Have you eaten today?”
“I ate…I ate breakfast…”
“Yeah? It’s way past lunch and you look like shit. You might not be hungry, but you gotta choke something down. All right? Then we’ll talk about this.”
Half an hour later, Eric was sitting in Travis’s penthouse, his legs tucked underneath him on a light gray upholstered sofa that looked out over the city from a floor-to-ceiling panoramic window. The ambiance of the penthouse was ironically in drastic contrast to Eric’s, seeing as they were identical twins, with its open, light, chic atmosphere. Even if it wasn’t dark and warm like Eric’s was, it was still cozy in its own right and Eric allowed himself to feel the comfort even though he knew he didn’t deserve it.
In his hand was a small plate with a sandwich on it that Travis was attempting to force down Eric’s throat. Eric knew he needed to eat. Not because he was hungry, not because it might make him feel better, but merely for health reasons alone. Eric simply couldn’t skip meals, not medically speaking. He knew that. But how was he supposed to choke something like this down when the mere thought of food at the moment made him want to gag?
“Eat,” Travis demanded of him as he took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, his mannerisms—and his sandwich—mirroring Eric’s. Not in the mood to argue, Eric took a bite. He hated to acknowledge the fact that he actually was a little hungry once he started in on it. He didn’t deserve to be hungry. He didn’t deserve to be comfortable on this nice couch in this nice penthouse and he didn’t deserve the niceness afforded to him by his brother. He didn’t deserve any of it.
However, the faster he ate, the faster the sandwich would be gone and he didn’t have to worry about it anymore.
Once the brothers’ crumb-filled plates lay on the coffee table in front of them, Travis’s eyes bored into Eric. Glancing over at his brother, who lounged against the couch’s arm with his messy blonde locks in a ball on top of his head, Eric finally let out a breath and massaged the bridge of his nose. “You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”
“Yup.”
Eric’s head fell as he pressed his fingertips between the fingers on his opposite hand. “I saw Juliet at the gym with Jason this morning. I got jealous. I went to her place. She told me she missed me and that she wanted to be with me. And then we slept together.”
Travis nodded. “Progress…”
“Except that I couldn’t shake the jealousy. I was blind with it, it was like…all I could see was him, you know? It hurt me. Like…he’s the one she ran to when she ran out on dinner, remember? And then she runs to him Friday and I see them today and I just…why him? You know? And no matter what she said to me, the apologies, all of it—I could only see him. And then I lost it.”
“So…once again, you ignored her…and you let your pride get in the way and then…”
“And then we argued. And then…in the heat of the moment, in the height of the argument, I said—“ Eric paused to swallow the lump in his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut. “I told her that it was no wonder her dead husband smacked her around. I told her it was because she was crazy.”
“Dude…” Travis whispered.
“Now she’s lost all trust in me and she never wants to see me again. She never wants to see me, hear from me, nothing. She’s turning the project over to Beth. She doesn’t even want to see me at work. Nothing. And…I don’t blame her for it.”
“Holy shit…”
“And…here we are.”
“Fuck, dude. I just…I don’t even know what to say right now.”
“I wanted to hurt her,” Eric admitted, his voice cracking as his chest swelled up. “I wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me, I wanted her to feel the pain that I felt, and I just—I went for the jugular. But it’s not like I planned those words to come out, that was not the way I would have done it if I’d been thinking clearly. I didn’t mean it, Travis. I didn’t. But you just—you can’t come back from something like that. You can’t take it back; you can’t convince someone like her that you didn’t mean it. Because to someone like her, something like that is a direct blow. It means something, and you just…you can’t come back from it. I can’t do what I’ve done before, I can’t go back and beg for her forgiveness, I can’t buy her stupid gifts or make any grand gestures or do any of that shit. There is literally nothing I can do to fix this. But I’m not…I’m not that guy. I’m not…I would never do that to her. Never.”
“I know.”
“I thought she knew that.”
“Deep down, I’m sure she does.”
“No,” Eric shook his head. “No, she doesn’t. It was like…I turned into a completely different person right in front of her eyes. I could see it; I could see the fear…of me. I was the last person she was ever supposed to be afraid of. I was the one person that she could feel completely and totally safe with. And I broke that. And I lost her and I don’t know who I am anymore.”
Shamelessly, the tears fell again. Eric didn’t care, it was just Travis. Eric and Travis had been through hell and back together, there was nothing the two of them were too proud to express to each other. Lunging from his position on the sofa, Travis leaned over and hooked his arm around Eric’s neck and pulled him against his chest. Travis’s chin rested atop Eric’s head and Eric let it out without hesitation.
After a minute or two, Eric pulled away and jammed his palms into his eyes. “I think I need to see someone,” he admitted.
“Are you sure?”
Eric nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I have to. I have to know…what would cause me to say something like that. I’m a monster, Travis. I need help. And even if…even if I never see her again, I just—want to make sure that I could never be that person. I need to know.”
“Okay,” Travis nodded, patting his brother’s back gently. “Okay, sure. Yeah, let me just…hey, you know what? I saw a card floating around here somewhere not too long ago. I figure any friend of Beth’s is a good place to start, right? Wait here.”
Several minutes later, after listening to the muffled sounds of cussing and clanging and the slamming of drawers, Travis finally bound back into the room and leapt with both feet onto the couch. “Here,” he said, handing Eric a card. “Try that one. And if that’s a dead end, we’ll go from there.”
Eric studied the card in his hand, off white with basic black print.
Leslie Thorne, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist
(212) 555-6491
“Psychotherapist, huh?” Eric nodded. “Sounds about right.”
“Like I said, might be a good place to start, if this is what you think will help you,” Travis replied gently.
Eric looked over at his brother as he flipped the card over and over between his fingers. “Look, let just…let’s just keep this between us, okay? This doesn’t…you know, need to get out or anything.”
“Absolutely,” Travis agreed. “If you can’t trust your twin, who can you trust, right?”
Eric nodded. “I know. You’ve…you’ve always been there, even when you didn’t have to be. I’m grateful for you. I really am.”
“Hey.” Travis leaned over and nudged Eric’s shoulder. “I love you, bro. I’m always there for you. Just like you are for me. Brothers for life.”
Eric glanced over and, for the first time that day, allowed a smile to play at the corner of his mouth as he leaned over and bumped the fist Travis offered. “Brothers for life.”
“ISN’T THAT BREACH of contract?” Beth asked Monday morning as she sat in Juliet’s office, thoroughly astounded at what she was hearing.
Apparently something had gone down at Juliet’s place the previous morning after Beth had left. Lately it was becoming the norm for Beth to be the last to know anything and it was getting old fast. She hadn’t heard from Juliet for the rest of Sunday, Travis was acting like someone had run over his favorite pet, and Beth…well, she couldn’t get anything out of anyone. Until she came to work Monday morning and was informed that she and Sven would be handling all dealings with Reynolds Construction from that moment forward.
Beth wasn’t entirely surprised. After all, this had already happened once before before Juliet had changed her mind. It seemed to go that way every time Juliet and Eric had a disagreement lately. But this time…this time there was something different about Juliet. And all Beth could get out of her was that she and Eric had slept together on Sunday and then he turned around and said something so unforgivable that it caused Juliet to cut all ties with him whatsoever—for good. “No going back this time,” Juliet said firmly. But she’d left it at that and now Beth was going absolutely insane.
For someone who had just lost what Beth was so adamantly sure was the love of Juliet’s life, whether she admitted it or not, Juliet’s demeanor sure was as cool as a cucumber could be. She didn’t seem distracted, she didn’t seem tense, she didn’t seem…anything. Maybe that was the point. Juliet radiated no emotion whatsoever. It was almost as if the woman walking around her office was merely a shell. An empty, hollow shell. And to Beth, that was more heartbreaking than if she’d walked around in tears all day.
Juliet had closed herself off again. From everything. For the first time since Eric came along, Juliet was back to her old self. Not that Beth had disliked the old Juliet—but the Juliet who had let her guard down and wore her emotions on her sleeve was much more enjoyable to be around than now impenetrable Juliet. Now talking to her was near impossible all over again.
“No,” Juliet replied matter-of-factly. “There is nothing in that contract that requires me to conduct business of any sort. It merely requires that Er--he—personally handle the project’s execution until completion. If he were to turn it over to someone else, that would be breach of contract.”
“So, basically, you’ve set it up to where you have complete freedom, but Eric is legally locked in.”
“Precisely. Did you not read it?”
Beth blinked at her in disgusted amazement. “You’re holding him prisoner while you get complete freedom. Isn’t that…a little inhumane? Don’t you think he’s suffering just the same as you are? Don’t you realize what having to work on this project and having to be reminded of you day after day must be doing to him?”
“No,” Juliet snapped. “It is not inhumane. If you had heard the words that came out of his mouth, you would tell me that I’m taking it way too easy on him.”
“Then tell me what he said!”
“No. But I’ll tell you that it was the most unforgivable thing a person could say to another person—especially to someone in my position.”
“Well, then,” Beth replied haughtily, sitting back in her chair and crossing her legs. “If that’s the case, what makes you think I would want to work with him?”
“Because we still need a building,” Juliet replied simply.
“Then why don’t we just find somebody else?” Beth snapped, exasperated. “If you can’t put your personal issues aside for the sake of your job—“
“Excuse me?” Juliet whirled around and gaped at Beth, astonished.
“—then we should just release Reynolds from the contract and find someone else,” Beth finished, unfazed by Juliet’s horrified expression. “I think that would be in everyone’s best interests. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone.”
“How dare you sit there and accuse me of not being able to differentiate work and—?“
“Hey, Travis and I are fine,” Beth challenged her. “Aren’t you the one who was concerned about mixing business and pleasure to begin with? Except that you did—“
“You pushed me to give Eric a chance!”
“Oh, please,” Beth shook her head in disgust. “Nobody really had to twist your arm to do that. You’re in love with him, you have been since the moment you first laid eyes on him.”
“What?”
“And whatever bullshit you have going on right now is not beyond repair, I can almost guarantee it.”
Finally, Juliet’s nostrils flared and her face turned red. “I could never love someone like him.”
“Jules! What does that mean?”
“It means he’s not the person we thought he was,” Juliet replied darkly. “He’s not the person I thought he was. He’s good at hiding it, though. He’s really good at putting on a front for God and everybody. But deep down, he’s not what he is on the surface. That’s what I learned yesterday. And I am finished with this conversation.”
Eric hurt Juliet yesterday. If Beth wasn’t getting anything out of Juliet, she was at least getting that, and for the first time all morning, it was written all over Juliet’s face. And now the rage was stirring like wildfire inside Beth’s core, but she chose to let the topic go. Instead, she dared discuss work. “So do I need to look for someone else or not?”
“No,” Juliet said quietly. “Despite whatever’s going on…behind closed doors…that company is exactly the perfect fit for us. Just because Eric Reynolds is…who he turned out to be, he still runs the hell out of that company. And with what small shred of respect I still have left for him, I respect his work ethic. And that is literally as far as it goes.”
Thankfully, Beth knew when to stop while she was ahead. One could argue that this was certainly not “ahead,” but she’d take what she could get. Letting out a breath, Beth relented and stood from her chair. “Okay.”
As Beth headed across the office and reached for the doorknob, Juliet’s soft voice stopped her. “Beth.”
Beth turned around and looked at her. It took one look, and one look only, to see how broken Juliet really was. Beneath her hard, cool exterior, Juliet was nothing more than a broken, scared little girl. Beth’s heart went out to her.
“I’m not upset at you,” Juliet said. “And I’m sorry I snapped at you. You’re right, I can’t handle mixing business with pleasure. I see that now. But that will never be an issue again.” Juliet paused, glancing down at her hands. “Also, um, I just wanted you to know that I’m going to call Dr. Thorne today to schedule an appointment. I’m, um, I’m going to give therapy another try. I, um, suppose I owe it to…myself?”
Tears sprang to Beth’s eyes and she smiled as she rapidly blinked them away. “Oh, sweetie. I’m so proud of you.”
A shy, fleeting smile crossed Juliet’s lips. “Let’s not be so proud of me, yet. Let’s just see how it goes.”
“I’m proud of you, anyway. I love you, Jules.”
Juliet smiled, her eyes glistening. “I love you, too.”
With that, Beth cleared her throat, jutted her chin into the air, and smoothed her skirt out. “Now, enough of this foolishness. We’re career women. We have…you know, careers to conduct. Dry it up!”
Juliet giggled, sucking in a sniffle amidst it, and nodded her head. “Get out of here. Go…conduct a career or something.”
With a laugh, Beth was out the door. But now she couldn’t wait for five o’clock to roll around. She had extra business she had to tend to outside the office.
* * *
“Travis!”
Beth knew she had no real right to be angry at Travis…or did she? The facts were simple: Travis and Eric were twins, Travis and Eric were best friends, and it had been over twenty-four hours since whatever happened between Eric and Juliet had happened and she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that in that timeframe, Travis had to know something and he had yet to fill Beth in on it. Beth had let this fester all day long and now she’d talked herself into being angry about it. And she decided, yes. She was angry at Travis.
“Travis!” She called again.
Walking through the penthouse that she shared with him more than she was in her own condo now, she kicked off her heels and threw her purse and her briefcase forcefully onto the sofa. Where was he? She knew he was home. He’d texted her awhile ago to let her know he was going home straight from a worksite. On a normal day, she would have longed to beat him home so that she could watch him show up all rugged and gruff in his steel-toed boots and his dirt-covered jeans, but not today. Today she meant business.
“Travis!”
“Babe?” He rounded the corner into the kitchen, his wet hair dripping onto the shoulders of his white tee shirt. She ignored the way the tight shirt clung deliciously to his muscular form and the way his old, raggedy jeans fit him so perfectly. Even his bare feet were magnificent.
But, no. No, no, no.
He halted to a near tiptoe when he got a look at her face. Good. Be afraid. Be very afraid. “Um, hey, sweetie,” he said with a gentle smile. Eying her, he headed for the kitchen and helped himself to a glass and a wine bottle. “Wine?” He asked as he carefully removed the wine stopper.
“No,” she spat. Then she changed her mind. “Yes.” Then she shook her head. “No.”
“How ‘bout I just pour it and leave it there…”
“How about you just cut the act. Stop trying to butter me up!”
His eyes widened and his jaw dropped and she swore she could see the wheels turning in his head. “Okay…” He said carefully. “Look, if this is about the mess I left behind in the bathroom this morning, I’m sorry. I was in a rush, I shouldn’t have left it—“
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Thishasnothingtodowiththemessinthebathroom!”
“How about a slice of chocolate cake to go with that wine? I stopped at the store on the way home.”
She opened one eye and squinted at him through her wink. “You did?”
He nodded. “Mmhmm.” Turning around, he busied himself with the delectable-looking cake that he lifted the lid off of. She could smell the aroma almost immediately and it sent shivers down her spine. “If you want, we can take all this to the bedroom and lay in bed and have dessert and…talk…”
Who the hell was this and what had he done with Travis? Since when did he cater to every woman’s stereotypical idea of heaven? Why did he know exactly what to say and how to say it? Or what to buy or what to pour? He knew…he knew he was hiding something.
“No,” she snapped, refusing to let Travis win. “Stop distracting me. Now I want you to tell me what Eric said to Juliet yesterday and I want you to tell me now.”
Looking up at Beth, Travis finally relented and lay the cake knife down on the counter. “I promised him I wouldn’t say anything.”
“And we promised no secrets. Didn’t we?”
She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “Juliet didn’t tell you?”
“No. I just found out this morning that I got handed the project and that something happened yesterday. But she refuses to elaborate. Only that whatever it was, it changed her. And not for the better. And she’s cut all ties with Eric, every single one. How does a person feel that strongly for another person and then want to just…cut all ties all of a sudden like that? Travis. What did he say?”
“We should sit down.”
“Whatever it takes.”
Coming around the bar, Travis took Beth by the hand and led her over to the sofa. In the living room, the lamplight was dim and the city lights sparkled out the window. It would have been the perfect romantic moment had her heart not been pounding with fear.
Taking her by the hands as he sat next to her, Travis looked solemnly into Beth’s eyes. “Beth. I don’t want to lose you.”
Her eyes widened and her heart pounded harder. “Why…why would you start a conversation like that?”
“Because what I’m about to tell you is going to make you very upset. You feel for Juliet like she’s your sister—just like Eric is my brother. I don’t want us to be divided by this and I don’t want it to interfere with our relationship. I just ask that you…take everything into consideration before you react.”
“You’re scaring me…”
“First of all, I want you to know that he did not mean it. At all. I don’t support what he said, not the first little bit, but the important thing is that he knows it was wrong. He’s beating himself up over it really bad and he’s even seeking therapy for it. Okay?”
“Travis…” she gasped.
“They had a fight. He was upset. He’d just seen her with Jason that morning. He was suffering from jealousy, his pride got in the way. And in the heat of the moment he told her that…um…” Travis cleared his throat. “He told her that no wonder her husband smacked her around…because she’s crazy.”
Beth thought she might be sick. Jerking her hands out of Travis’s, she gasped and she jumped back, covering her mouth.
“Baby,” he said gently. “Just…give it a minute.”
Her chest heaved with breath and her stomach churned as she could only imagine what it must have felt like to be in Juliet’s shoes in that moment. Tears sprang to her eyes and she understood Juliet’s mood this morning fully and completely now. “How could…how could I just…give it a minute?”
“Eric called me yesterday and asked me to come get him. I found him outside Juliet’s building and he…he fucking scared me, babes. I thought he was going into shock. He was so out of it, it was like…I’m surprised he even knew his own name. He couldn’t focus, he…he didn’t even know where his own truck was, it was…Beth, please. Like I said, I don’t support his words. I’m not going to defend them. But, please understand…you know he wouldn’t hurt a fly. You know him.”
“Do I?” She finally breathed.
“Don’t we…don’t we say things we don’t mean when we fight? Don’t we hurt each other sometimes?”
Beth gaped at him. “Well…well, yeah, but…I mean, I’ve never told you that I hope you go into a diabetic coma or something. I mean, wouldn’t you be afraid I’d try to…you know, poison you with sugar or hide your insulin or something?”
Travis tried to stifle a smirk, but he wasn’t very good at it. “No. Because I know you’d never do something like that. You might…I don’t know, push me out of one of these windows or something unexpected like that, but I trust you enough to know you wouldn’t do something like jeopardize my health. I wouldn’t suspect it for a second. Because I know you.”
Scooting over close to her, he reached around and hesitantly rested his arm around her shoulders. She couldn’t help but to sink into the warm comfort of his embrace. Pulling her into him, he leaned back and rested his feet up on the coffee table. “How could he do that to her?” Beth whispered.
“I don’t know,” Travis replied quietly.
“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do with that. How do I—how do I face him again?”
“How am I supposed to face Juliet?” He sympathized. “Every time she looks at me, she’s going to see him. Literally.”
Beth pinched his side lightly and he caught her hand and he laughed. “This is no time for joking,” she smiled.
“I mean it,” he said. “If she thinks one thing about him, she’s going to look at me and wonder the same thing. I’ll be persecuted by default.”
They were silent for a moment before Beth lifted her head and looked up at him. “Eric’s going to therapy?”
“Yeah,” Travis nodded, tucking Beth’s hair behind her ear. “He made an appointment today.”
“So did Juliet. She’s going back to therapy. Wants to try again.”
“That’s good. Good for her.”
Beth let out a breath and rested her head against Travis’s shoulder again. “I just want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy. She just…hasn’t done anything to deserve any of this shit life has dealt her. You know?”
“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to face him. I have to work with him now and it’s…it’s a lot to process because he hurt my best friend. Seriously hurt her. But I’m glad he’s chosen to go to therapy for it. I mean, I know…I know he would never hurt her. But her trust was so delicate already. It was so fragile and now…now it’s nonexistent. I just hope she can learn how to trust again.”
Travis pressed his lips into the top of her head. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, but—“ She heard the catch in his voice and her eyes widened in alarm. Sitting up, she saw the redness in his eyes as he tried to blink it away.
“Baby,” she said, reaching up and wiping a stray tear off of his cheek. “Baby, don’t cry!”
“I’m sorry, I just…I hurt so bad for him.” He cleared his throat and shook his drying hair out of his face. “He fucking cried on me today. Beth, he—I’m not gonna lie, I’m so scared for him to be alone right now.”
Her eyes widened in alarm. “Why are you--? Is it that bad? Do you think he’d--?”
“He’s tried to before. A couple of times. I just…I wonder sometimes what his breaking point will finally be. I think maybe therapy will be good for him. Maybe it’ll help not only work out this issue, but a lot of the other ones he’s been harboring throughout his life. I think he really needs this. I just hate that it had to happen under these circumstances.”
“Well, Travis—I mean, if you’re afraid for him to be alone, then maybe you—“
“And…well, there’s part two.”
Beth raised her eyebrows.
Travis nodded to the side. “He’s in the guest room.”
“He’s here?”
“He’s asleep. He needs the sleep. He looked like a fucking zombie at work today, I—his first therapy session is Wednesday. I just want him to get through that. Beth, you gotta understand, I couldn’t leave him alone.”
Beth froze as she stared at Travis, forcing herself to process just what was going on under that roof.
“I understand if…if you feel like you have to go back to your apartment,” he said quietly.
“Do you want me to go back to my apartment?”
“No. But if this is going to make you uncomfortable…”
“Travis. Are we serious about this relationship or not?”
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”
“Then next time you…you invite a houseguest, you might want to clear it with me first.”
“I’m sorry, I—“
“I mean, what if I’d walked through the apartment, stripping my clothes off, raring to go?”
“Um…”
“And I came through here, screaming like a banshee, it’s a wonder I didn’t wake him up!”
“Well—well, okay. You got me there.”
“I don’t mind that he’s here,” she continued. “Sure, it’s going to be a little awkward, but…he’s your brother. That makes him my family, too. And if you think he’s safer here—“
Travis cut her off when he took her face in her hands and he kissed her. “Thank you. You’re amazing.” Pulling away, he brushed her hair out of her face. “Look, I’m making dinner tonight. Eric’s diet is…a little more delicate than mine, given his diabetic track record, if you know what I mean. But, uh, what do you say we take a rain check on the cake and wine and take it to bed later? Okay?”
Beth nodded. “I got so lucky when you walked me home that night. When’s the last time I told you how wonderful you are?”
Travis smiled. “Um…pretty sure you screamed it out around 2am on Saturday…”
Grinning, she kissed him softly and tickled his side gently. “Shut up,” she whispered. “There’s a pair of sweats somewhere in there with my name on them and you have to get to work in the kitchen. Hop to it, buddy.”
As Beth and Travis left the living room, Travis stopping in the kitchen and Beth continuing into the bedroom, she sat on the edge of the bed and she looked around for a moment, letting out a breath. Okay, then. Eric brutally devastated Juliet. Juliet is an emotionless shell and Eric is sleeping just down the hallway. Beth could deal with this. She could do it, no sweat.
Couldn’t she?
ERIC’S ABSENCE AT dinner absolutely did not go unnoticed. In fact, the tension over it was damn near unbearable. Granted, the only person feeling the tension was Travis, but who could blame him since he was sharing a meal with the man who was likely nailing his brother’s ex?
It was Wednesday—guys’ night. The truth was, Travis would have rather been home, talking to Eric about how his first therapy session went, but Eric had moved back into his own place and told Travis that he needed time alone to think. He insisted that Travis go to dinner and tell the guys he’d catch them next time and he assured Travis that he would be okay. Travis made sure to text him every half an hour or so anyway, just to ease his own mind.
Somehow, Jason had been included in the Wednesday night festivities. He’d become buddies with Terrell recently, probably from the gym, and now Terrell was bringing him around everywhere he could. He’d managed to get a night away from his kid and he got along swimmingly with Barry and Jesse. Truth was, he was kind of a perfect fit with their group. He was damn likable—Travis liked him, after all. But now it was just awkward, like he was betraying Eric or something. Travis had never been more uncomfortable.
They ended up at the usual tavern they met at. Dim lighting, questionable hygiene, tall tables, and unlimited free peanuts for appetizers. The cheese fries were amazing, though, and you couldn’t beat their selection of imported beer. It was comfortable enough to kick back and shoot the shit without concern for your surroundings and that was why they frequented the joint.
Travis couldn’t kick back, though. Not when the burly Hawaiian, who was easily twice his size, kept shooting looks across the table at him as if he were sizing him up and trying to decide which avenue was most entertaining for fucking Travis’s world up.
What the hell had Juliet told him?
Barry and his big mouth interrupted Travis’s thoughts. “Hey, where’s that buzzkill brother of yours tonight? He decide he’s too good for us now or what?”
“No,” Travis muttered. “He’s…going through some things. Prefers his privacy.”
“Probably for the better,” Barry replied. “He’s an asshole when he drinks, anyway.”
“Maybe he’s just an asshole to you,” Travis shot back.
“Whoa!” Barry laughed, his bald head glistening under the dim light. “Look out, boys! Blondie’s got jokes! Hey, what’s got you, anyway? Your mojo get cut off now that you’re tied down or what?”
“No,” Travis replied, adjusting himself in his chair. He twirled the label on his beer bottle to face him. “Maybe I’m just not a huge fan of sharing a table with the guy who’s biting off of my brother’s seconds.”
Involuntarily, Travis’s eyes looked up and met Jason’s hard, green ones. And now Jason was thirty-eight hot.
“What the hell are you trying to pull?” Jason asked him threateningly. “I’ve been sitting here all night long, trying to figure you out and it’s the damnest thing. But now I get it. I’ve been seeing you everywhere—dinner, the gym, Carson Innovations, in random places in public…you’re stalking Juliet, aren’t you? You’re him. You’re ‘the guy.’ And you’re playing both of my close friends. Does Beth know?” Jason rose from his chair. “I should snap you in half where you sit—“
Travis nearly choked on his current mouthful of beer. He was miraculously able to swallow it as he gaped across the table. Not to be outdone, he stood from his own chair without concern for the several inches Jason had on him. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m with Beth, I’m not interested in Juliet!”
“Juliet Carson?” Barry nearly squealed.
Everyone ignored him. Jason replied, “Really, bro? You’re gonna stand there and look me in the eye and say that? You’re—you’re fucking everywhere!”
“Dude, it’s not me, it’s my brother!”
“Is that who Eric was nailing on the phone that night?” Barry interrupted.
Once again, he was ignored.
“Don’t play that shit with me,” Jason glared. “I fucking spoke to you! All three times!”
“What three times?”
“Uh, the elevator at Carson—“
“Okay,” Travis conceded, raising his hands in defeat. “I was there to see Juliet that day, I’ll give you that one. But not like you think—“
“—and then both times I saw you at the gym. And the last time you were staring Juliet down like some psycho stalker and I told you—I warned you—“
“I never saw you at the fucking gym! I’m telling you, it wasn’t me! It had to be—wait, it was—“
“So, what, are you trying to tell me you have some…some fucking twin roaming around Manhattan or some shit? Come on—“
“YES!”
The chorus rang out loud and clear as four voices simultaneously shut down the confrontation. Jason looked taken aback for a moment as the table fell silent. Then he looked around at the eyes staring back at him and he scoffed nervously as he smirked. “So…so, what, you got a twin? Like…for real?”
Travis nodded as Terrell stood and tapped Jason’s shoulder and showed him something on his phone. Travis itched to see what it was but he decided not to rock the boat. “That’s Eric,” Terrell pointed him out. “He and Travis are identical twins. See?”
If Jason’s tanned skin could have gone pale, it would have. Instead, he wiped sweat from his upper lip and glanced at Travis. “So there are two of you. Dude, I—“
“The hair should have tipped you off,” Travis muttered.
“Well, shit, dude. I thought you were…you know, fucking disguising yourself or something, I don’t know. But this one…Eric? Your brother. He’s the guy.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Well, yeah. She told me about some guy, but never really said much about him. I just know that he’s the one she keeps rejecting me for. I’m, uh, sorry, man. We, uh, we cool?”
“Yeah,” Travis said, reaching across the table and shaking Jason’s hand. “We’re cool. Gotta admit, we’ve used the twin thing to get into some crazy shit, but this is the first time I’ve ever feared for my life over it.”
Finally, Barry’s voice bellowed over the group as everyone took their seats again. “Hold on! Back up, just—hold the phone! You’re saying that…that Eric is banging Juliet Carson? Like, on a regular basis? Like, anytime he wants it?”
“It’s not like that,” Travis glowered at him. Then he corrected himself. “Well. I mean it’s kinda like that. It was…”
“Dude…” Barry’s eyes widened as he sat back in his chair. “Eric…is…a god!”
“This guy is really starting to piss me off,” Jason murmured, pointing his thumb in Barry’s direction.
“Whatever, I fucked her, too,” Jesse muttered.
Barry waved him off. “Yeah, but you couldn’t get her off. She went back to Eric for more. And more and more, apparently. So that makes Eric a god.” Then he proceeded to elaborately fake cry, “I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!”
“That where he is tonight?” Jesse asked.
With a shake of Travis’s head, the mood around the table died down. “Nah. Nah, he…they’re having some issues. He, uh, he said some things that he regrets and now she won’t talk to him. He’s in a real bad way, guys. I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“What kind of a bad way?” Terrell asked.
Travis looked up at him and nodded. “Bad. Worse than Sam.”
“Shit,” Jesse hissed.
“Juliet’s the one,” Travis said. “They, uh, they got pretty serious fast. Never went public with it because she’s got her own shit she’s dealing with, but what they had was theirs, you know? And then they had an argument, some words flew around, and he said the wrong ones. And now…he’s been sleeping at my place for the past couple of nights—well, up until tonight when he decided to go back to his place. I’m worried about him, guys. Haven’t been this worried about him in a long time.”
The table was silent as the guys either drank from or messed with their beer bottles. “I had a feeling it was serious,” Jason finally said. “But, Jules, she’s…she’s locked down tight. Getting her to tell you anything is like…like getting into Fort Knox.”
“But she told it all to Eric,” Travis revealed. “She told him everything. There was nothing they didn’t tell each other. Hell, he probably told her shit that I don’t even know. It was like that.”
“Well, if it helps, I haven’t heard from her since Sunday.”
“Since the gym,” Travis said. “After that is when the argument happened.”
“Did they…was it because of me?” Jason asked.
“Well, I’m not…I’m not blaming you,” Travis said. “But if you saw your girl out with another guy, you’d get pretty hotheaded, too, wouldn’t you?”
“Shit,” Jason said, sitting back in his chair. “Fuck, to hear her tell it…I never even knew they got back together from the first time. I’m telling you, Juliet only tells you shit on a need-to-know basis. I thought they were still broken up. I sent Juliet back to the locker room and came back and I told him he better keep his eyes off my girl or else. I called her my girl…”
Travis glared at Jason. “Your girl?”
“Well, fuck, dude! Jules and Beth and I go way back, over ten years! I had a thing for her then, I left town for awhile. Come back seven years later, there she is, I missed her, of course I want to try to get with her. Apparently so does the rest of New York, I learned that the hard way. I mean, she and I, we’re not…you know, we’re not really dating or anything—hell, we haven’t even kissed. But I thought I might have a shot, maybe try to reignite an old flame. I had no idea who he was—I thought he was you. And you can’t blame a guy for trying, right?”
“No,” Travis agreed, shaking his head. “No, I guess not.”
“I had no idea it was like that with your brother, though. Juliet and I are just friends, I’m not…I’m not going to interfere with that. She’s got enough on her plate as it is, apparently.”
“So what do we do?” Barry asked. “How bad is it? I mean, do we need to bust up in his apartment or what?”
“I don’t know,” Travis said. “He’s…he’s quiet. He doesn’t say much. Works and goes home. And when he’s home, he doesn’t really do much else but sleep. I’ve been having to wake him up to make him eat. Which reminds me, I should probably stop by there when I leave here. It’s just—it’s to the point where I’m afraid he’ll just give up. I almost feel like I need to move in with him to keep him alive. It’s nothing for him to just up and ‘forget’ his insulin. That shit scares the fuck out of me. But today,” Travis let out a breath. “Today, he…I don’t know, I don’t want to air out his business. I just hope that after today, he starts…you know, living again. Right now I think he just needs our support.”
“How do you support someone who doesn’t want it?” Jesse asked. “We all remember what happened with Sam—“
“Because this runs deeper than Sam,” Travis interjected firmly. “Sam wasn’t the one. This one is. And the truth is, he’s probably lost her—for good. We just need to be there. Whenever he’s ready to talk or…or whatever, we just need to be there.”
Jason looked around the table, his eyebrows furrowed. “The guy’s depressed. Like, straight up. And apparently he’s not very good at looking after his own health. So we’re gonna just sit here and let him hibernate in his apartment and just hope he comes out and sees his shadow one day? No. It doesn’t fucking work like that. If he needs support, he needs to know he has it.”
“What do you suggest we do?” Terrell asked.
“I don’t know,” Jason replied. “But in my world, we don’t just let our buddies drown. We pick them up off the floor, hold their heads while they puke, and breathe down their necks until they can walk on their own again. Nobody should be left to go through anything on their own. Not if they don’t have to.”
“Okay, then,” Travis said, tossing a peanut into the middle of the table. “Since I’m already going there, I got tonight. Next?”
“Thursday,” Jesse said.
“Friday,” Barry called.
“Saturday,” Terrell’s bass answered.
Jason lets out a breath. “Guess that leaves me with Sunday.”
Travis arched an eyebrow and Terrell scoffed. “Yeah, right. You gonna hold Eric’s head while he pukes? He’ll fight you first. No, my shift is Saturday and this shit ends Saturday. Clear your calendars, boys. You have plans.”
As they all went their separate ways home that night, Travis called Beth to let her know he wasn’t coming home. She was so understanding about it that it hurt his heart in the best, most exhilarating way possible. God, he was blessed with a fucking perfect woman. What the hell was the big guy thinking when he dropped Beth into Travis’s life, anyway? What had he done to deserve her?
Beyond that, he was feeling a little better about Eric’s situation. Knowing that Eric wouldn’t be spending his nights at home alone—whether he liked it or not—was a huge relief to Travis. And with the plans Terrell had made for Saturday…Travis merely shook his head on his way out the tavern’s door. Terrell’s heart was in the right place, but Travis wasn’t sure how much good it would do other than piss Eric off. Then again, maybe a little anger was what Eric needed. Travis would appreciate seeing a little life in him for a change.
“Travis,” Eric’s voice came out in a wrangled whisper as he stood on the sidewalk in the cold, December air. “Come get me.”
Naturally, the alarm rose in Eric’s twin’s voice. “Where are you?”
“I’m at—“ Eric looked around on the overcast city and he realized that he hadn’t moved an inch since he stepped out of Juliet’s apartment building. “I’m at, um…I’m at Juliet’s. Outside the building.”
He could hear Travis’s throat catch over the phone as if he wanted to say something, but instead he merely spat, “I’m on my way.”
“Are you busy? Because if you are…”
“I said I’m on my way. Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.”
And that was the truth. Eric felt like he’d stepped into another dimension. He felt like his soul had detached from his body and was now floating around aimlessly with no intended direction, just…lost. Eric was lost. And he had no idea how to find his way back—or even if he wanted to.
The episode that had occurred mere minutes ago played out in his mind over and over. He couldn’t shut it off. How could he have said something like that to her? How could the words have ever have left his lips? How could the notion ever enter his mind? She had wanted to be with him. She’d said it, on her own free will. Why hadn’t he taken it and ran with it? Why hadn’t he jumped for joy and taken her in his arms and made all the promises to her that he’d already intended to keep? He could be happy right now—the both of them could be blissfully happy together. She wanted him and he…he shit all over it.
Now she didn’t trust him. She didn’t trust him, she never wanted to see him again, she was through. And he’d done it all himself. He did. He couldn’t blame her for any of it. She’d melted in his arms, apologized to him, told him several times how much she wanted him, how wonderful she thought he was. And then he…said the worst thing a person could ever say to her. He became the one person that she’d finally grown to believe he wasn’t—and he’d blown it all. All of it, his life, his love, his future.
Eric was sick. He was a monster. He needed help.
Within minutes, a yellow taxi squealed to a halt on the curb in front of Eric and Travis bounded out of it, palming several bills into the driver’s hand through the front window. Eric didn’t have time to comment on Travis’s lack of a vehicle, he was grateful to see a familiar face—one that he hoped wouldn’t judge him too harshly when he found out what he’d done.
Eric had no idea what he must have looked like in the moment, but according to Travis’s reaction, it couldn’t have been good. Travis bounded up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders and nearly shoved his face into Eric’s. “Eric? What’s going on? What happened?”
“It’s over,” Eric murmured.
“You said that already.”
“Huh?” Eric struggled to focus.
“The other day. You said that. And now you’re standing outside her building looking like you’re…like you’re going into shock or something. What happened? Do I—do we…need to…you know, call someone?”
“It’s over,” Eric repeated.
“Where’s your truck?”
Eric’s truck? That was a good question. Where the hell was Eric’s truck? Had he even driven it here? He knew he drove it to the gym because he remembered tossing his gym bag into the front seat. But now?
“My truck?”
“That’s it,” Travis said hastily. “I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“No!” Eric objected, clarity finally finding him. For the first time, he could see Travis in full technicolor, he could see his own breath puffing into the air. “I don’t need to go to the hospital. My truck’s around the corner.”
Turning on his heel, Travis took a few steps in the direction Eric’s thumb pointed in, Eric set to follow. Suddenly, Travis halted and he whirled around and faced his brother. “Eric,” he said solemnly. “Juliet. Is she…is she okay?”
The question caught Eric off guard, but he swallowed a lump at the sound of her name anyway. “Um…I hurt her…really bad.”
Terror filled Travis’s eyes and the blood drained from his face. “Eric! Eric, how could--? How bad? What did you--?’
Finally, alarm filled Eric’s own eyes when he realized what Travis was getting at. “What? What, you think--? No! I mean, yeah, I learned that I’m a monster today, but do you really think I’d--? No, she’s perfectly safe, all ten fingers and toes, everything intact, I just…can’t really say much for her emotions or her trust anymore.”
Relief filled his twin, his shoulders relaxing and the color returning to his face. “Sorry, man, I just…you’re just acting so weird and your words were kinda cryptic…”
“Just get me out of here,” Eric breathed.
As Eric sat in the passenger seat of his own vehicle, looking mindlessly out the window, the truck was silent. There was no music, no radio, no Travis attempting to make small talk. All that could be heard was the muffled traffic and voices of the city outside the windows and the sound of the heat as it blew through the vents. It wasn’t until they were several blocks away from Juliet’s that Eric realized that Travis hadn’t hung a left around the block a long time ago and that they were driving away from Eric’s condo.
“Where are we going?” Eric asked.
“My place,” Travis said.
“Shit,” Eric hissed. “No. Take me home. I can’t—Beth probably already knows by now and I can’t walk in there and—and I can’t take anymore, dude. I can’t do it. I mean, I deserve it, but I can’t face Beth right now. I haven’t even had adequate time to process any of it myself.”
“Then why don’t you start at the beginning? What happened? I’ll start. Friday it’s over. We eat pizza, you realize you’re a moron, then Sunday I’m picking you up from outside her place. Start there.”
“Travis, I—don’t make me say it. I can’t even say it. To say it the first time was…”
“So you said something to her.”
“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
“Don’t you think you’re being just a little melodramatic?”
Eric shook his head. “No. I’m not.”
“Look. I’m gonna take you to my place and I’m gonna need you to eat. Okay?”
“Why does it always come down to food?”
“Have you eaten today?”
“I ate…I ate breakfast…”
“Yeah? It’s way past lunch and you look like shit. You might not be hungry, but you gotta choke something down. All right? Then we’ll talk about this.”
Half an hour later, Eric was sitting in Travis’s penthouse, his legs tucked underneath him on a light gray upholstered sofa that looked out over the city from a floor-to-ceiling panoramic window. The ambiance of the penthouse was ironically in drastic contrast to Eric’s, seeing as they were identical twins, with its open, light, chic atmosphere. Even if it wasn’t dark and warm like Eric’s was, it was still cozy in its own right and Eric allowed himself to feel the comfort even though he knew he didn’t deserve it.
In his hand was a small plate with a sandwich on it that Travis was attempting to force down Eric’s throat. Eric knew he needed to eat. Not because he was hungry, not because it might make him feel better, but merely for health reasons alone. Eric simply couldn’t skip meals, not medically speaking. He knew that. But how was he supposed to choke something like this down when the mere thought of food at the moment made him want to gag?
“Eat,” Travis demanded of him as he took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, his mannerisms—and his sandwich—mirroring Eric’s. Not in the mood to argue, Eric took a bite. He hated to acknowledge the fact that he actually was a little hungry once he started in on it. He didn’t deserve to be hungry. He didn’t deserve to be comfortable on this nice couch in this nice penthouse and he didn’t deserve the niceness afforded to him by his brother. He didn’t deserve any of it.
However, the faster he ate, the faster the sandwich would be gone and he didn’t have to worry about it anymore.
Once the brothers’ crumb-filled plates lay on the coffee table in front of them, Travis’s eyes bored into Eric. Glancing over at his brother, who lounged against the couch’s arm with his messy blonde locks in a ball on top of his head, Eric finally let out a breath and massaged the bridge of his nose. “You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”
“Yup.”
Eric’s head fell as he pressed his fingertips between the fingers on his opposite hand. “I saw Juliet at the gym with Jason this morning. I got jealous. I went to her place. She told me she missed me and that she wanted to be with me. And then we slept together.”
Travis nodded. “Progress…”
“Except that I couldn’t shake the jealousy. I was blind with it, it was like…all I could see was him, you know? It hurt me. Like…he’s the one she ran to when she ran out on dinner, remember? And then she runs to him Friday and I see them today and I just…why him? You know? And no matter what she said to me, the apologies, all of it—I could only see him. And then I lost it.”
“So…once again, you ignored her…and you let your pride get in the way and then…”
“And then we argued. And then…in the heat of the moment, in the height of the argument, I said—“ Eric paused to swallow the lump in his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut. “I told her that it was no wonder her dead husband smacked her around. I told her it was because she was crazy.”
“Dude…” Travis whispered.
“Now she’s lost all trust in me and she never wants to see me again. She never wants to see me, hear from me, nothing. She’s turning the project over to Beth. She doesn’t even want to see me at work. Nothing. And…I don’t blame her for it.”
“Holy shit…”
“And…here we are.”
“Fuck, dude. I just…I don’t even know what to say right now.”
“I wanted to hurt her,” Eric admitted, his voice cracking as his chest swelled up. “I wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me, I wanted her to feel the pain that I felt, and I just—I went for the jugular. But it’s not like I planned those words to come out, that was not the way I would have done it if I’d been thinking clearly. I didn’t mean it, Travis. I didn’t. But you just—you can’t come back from something like that. You can’t take it back; you can’t convince someone like her that you didn’t mean it. Because to someone like her, something like that is a direct blow. It means something, and you just…you can’t come back from it. I can’t do what I’ve done before, I can’t go back and beg for her forgiveness, I can’t buy her stupid gifts or make any grand gestures or do any of that shit. There is literally nothing I can do to fix this. But I’m not…I’m not that guy. I’m not…I would never do that to her. Never.”
“I know.”
“I thought she knew that.”
“Deep down, I’m sure she does.”
“No,” Eric shook his head. “No, she doesn’t. It was like…I turned into a completely different person right in front of her eyes. I could see it; I could see the fear…of me. I was the last person she was ever supposed to be afraid of. I was the one person that she could feel completely and totally safe with. And I broke that. And I lost her and I don’t know who I am anymore.”
Shamelessly, the tears fell again. Eric didn’t care, it was just Travis. Eric and Travis had been through hell and back together, there was nothing the two of them were too proud to express to each other. Lunging from his position on the sofa, Travis leaned over and hooked his arm around Eric’s neck and pulled him against his chest. Travis’s chin rested atop Eric’s head and Eric let it out without hesitation.
After a minute or two, Eric pulled away and jammed his palms into his eyes. “I think I need to see someone,” he admitted.
“Are you sure?”
Eric nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I have to. I have to know…what would cause me to say something like that. I’m a monster, Travis. I need help. And even if…even if I never see her again, I just—want to make sure that I could never be that person. I need to know.”
“Okay,” Travis nodded, patting his brother’s back gently. “Okay, sure. Yeah, let me just…hey, you know what? I saw a card floating around here somewhere not too long ago. I figure any friend of Beth’s is a good place to start, right? Wait here.”
Several minutes later, after listening to the muffled sounds of cussing and clanging and the slamming of drawers, Travis finally bound back into the room and leapt with both feet onto the couch. “Here,” he said, handing Eric a card. “Try that one. And if that’s a dead end, we’ll go from there.”
Eric studied the card in his hand, off white with basic black print.
Leslie Thorne, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist
(212) 555-6491
“Psychotherapist, huh?” Eric nodded. “Sounds about right.”
“Like I said, might be a good place to start, if this is what you think will help you,” Travis replied gently.
Eric looked over at his brother as he flipped the card over and over between his fingers. “Look, let just…let’s just keep this between us, okay? This doesn’t…you know, need to get out or anything.”
“Absolutely,” Travis agreed. “If you can’t trust your twin, who can you trust, right?”
Eric nodded. “I know. You’ve…you’ve always been there, even when you didn’t have to be. I’m grateful for you. I really am.”
“Hey.” Travis leaned over and nudged Eric’s shoulder. “I love you, bro. I’m always there for you. Just like you are for me. Brothers for life.”
Eric glanced over and, for the first time that day, allowed a smile to play at the corner of his mouth as he leaned over and bumped the fist Travis offered. “Brothers for life.”
“ISN’T THAT BREACH of contract?” Beth asked Monday morning as she sat in Juliet’s office, thoroughly astounded at what she was hearing.
Apparently something had gone down at Juliet’s place the previous morning after Beth had left. Lately it was becoming the norm for Beth to be the last to know anything and it was getting old fast. She hadn’t heard from Juliet for the rest of Sunday, Travis was acting like someone had run over his favorite pet, and Beth…well, she couldn’t get anything out of anyone. Until she came to work Monday morning and was informed that she and Sven would be handling all dealings with Reynolds Construction from that moment forward.
Beth wasn’t entirely surprised. After all, this had already happened once before before Juliet had changed her mind. It seemed to go that way every time Juliet and Eric had a disagreement lately. But this time…this time there was something different about Juliet. And all Beth could get out of her was that she and Eric had slept together on Sunday and then he turned around and said something so unforgivable that it caused Juliet to cut all ties with him whatsoever—for good. “No going back this time,” Juliet said firmly. But she’d left it at that and now Beth was going absolutely insane.
For someone who had just lost what Beth was so adamantly sure was the love of Juliet’s life, whether she admitted it or not, Juliet’s demeanor sure was as cool as a cucumber could be. She didn’t seem distracted, she didn’t seem tense, she didn’t seem…anything. Maybe that was the point. Juliet radiated no emotion whatsoever. It was almost as if the woman walking around her office was merely a shell. An empty, hollow shell. And to Beth, that was more heartbreaking than if she’d walked around in tears all day.
Juliet had closed herself off again. From everything. For the first time since Eric came along, Juliet was back to her old self. Not that Beth had disliked the old Juliet—but the Juliet who had let her guard down and wore her emotions on her sleeve was much more enjoyable to be around than now impenetrable Juliet. Now talking to her was near impossible all over again.
“No,” Juliet replied matter-of-factly. “There is nothing in that contract that requires me to conduct business of any sort. It merely requires that Er--he—personally handle the project’s execution until completion. If he were to turn it over to someone else, that would be breach of contract.”
“So, basically, you’ve set it up to where you have complete freedom, but Eric is legally locked in.”
“Precisely. Did you not read it?”
Beth blinked at her in disgusted amazement. “You’re holding him prisoner while you get complete freedom. Isn’t that…a little inhumane? Don’t you think he’s suffering just the same as you are? Don’t you realize what having to work on this project and having to be reminded of you day after day must be doing to him?”
“No,” Juliet snapped. “It is not inhumane. If you had heard the words that came out of his mouth, you would tell me that I’m taking it way too easy on him.”
“Then tell me what he said!”
“No. But I’ll tell you that it was the most unforgivable thing a person could say to another person—especially to someone in my position.”
“Well, then,” Beth replied haughtily, sitting back in her chair and crossing her legs. “If that’s the case, what makes you think I would want to work with him?”
“Because we still need a building,” Juliet replied simply.
“Then why don’t we just find somebody else?” Beth snapped, exasperated. “If you can’t put your personal issues aside for the sake of your job—“
“Excuse me?” Juliet whirled around and gaped at Beth, astonished.
“—then we should just release Reynolds from the contract and find someone else,” Beth finished, unfazed by Juliet’s horrified expression. “I think that would be in everyone’s best interests. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone.”
“How dare you sit there and accuse me of not being able to differentiate work and—?“
“Hey, Travis and I are fine,” Beth challenged her. “Aren’t you the one who was concerned about mixing business and pleasure to begin with? Except that you did—“
“You pushed me to give Eric a chance!”
“Oh, please,” Beth shook her head in disgust. “Nobody really had to twist your arm to do that. You’re in love with him, you have been since the moment you first laid eyes on him.”
“What?”
“And whatever bullshit you have going on right now is not beyond repair, I can almost guarantee it.”
Finally, Juliet’s nostrils flared and her face turned red. “I could never love someone like him.”
“Jules! What does that mean?”
“It means he’s not the person we thought he was,” Juliet replied darkly. “He’s not the person I thought he was. He’s good at hiding it, though. He’s really good at putting on a front for God and everybody. But deep down, he’s not what he is on the surface. That’s what I learned yesterday. And I am finished with this conversation.”
Eric hurt Juliet yesterday. If Beth wasn’t getting anything out of Juliet, she was at least getting that, and for the first time all morning, it was written all over Juliet’s face. And now the rage was stirring like wildfire inside Beth’s core, but she chose to let the topic go. Instead, she dared discuss work. “So do I need to look for someone else or not?”
“No,” Juliet said quietly. “Despite whatever’s going on…behind closed doors…that company is exactly the perfect fit for us. Just because Eric Reynolds is…who he turned out to be, he still runs the hell out of that company. And with what small shred of respect I still have left for him, I respect his work ethic. And that is literally as far as it goes.”
Thankfully, Beth knew when to stop while she was ahead. One could argue that this was certainly not “ahead,” but she’d take what she could get. Letting out a breath, Beth relented and stood from her chair. “Okay.”
As Beth headed across the office and reached for the doorknob, Juliet’s soft voice stopped her. “Beth.”
Beth turned around and looked at her. It took one look, and one look only, to see how broken Juliet really was. Beneath her hard, cool exterior, Juliet was nothing more than a broken, scared little girl. Beth’s heart went out to her.
“I’m not upset at you,” Juliet said. “And I’m sorry I snapped at you. You’re right, I can’t handle mixing business with pleasure. I see that now. But that will never be an issue again.” Juliet paused, glancing down at her hands. “Also, um, I just wanted you to know that I’m going to call Dr. Thorne today to schedule an appointment. I’m, um, I’m going to give therapy another try. I, um, suppose I owe it to…myself?”
Tears sprang to Beth’s eyes and she smiled as she rapidly blinked them away. “Oh, sweetie. I’m so proud of you.”
A shy, fleeting smile crossed Juliet’s lips. “Let’s not be so proud of me, yet. Let’s just see how it goes.”
“I’m proud of you, anyway. I love you, Jules.”
Juliet smiled, her eyes glistening. “I love you, too.”
With that, Beth cleared her throat, jutted her chin into the air, and smoothed her skirt out. “Now, enough of this foolishness. We’re career women. We have…you know, careers to conduct. Dry it up!”
Juliet giggled, sucking in a sniffle amidst it, and nodded her head. “Get out of here. Go…conduct a career or something.”
With a laugh, Beth was out the door. But now she couldn’t wait for five o’clock to roll around. She had extra business she had to tend to outside the office.
* * *
“Travis!”
Beth knew she had no real right to be angry at Travis…or did she? The facts were simple: Travis and Eric were twins, Travis and Eric were best friends, and it had been over twenty-four hours since whatever happened between Eric and Juliet had happened and she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that in that timeframe, Travis had to know something and he had yet to fill Beth in on it. Beth had let this fester all day long and now she’d talked herself into being angry about it. And she decided, yes. She was angry at Travis.
“Travis!” She called again.
Walking through the penthouse that she shared with him more than she was in her own condo now, she kicked off her heels and threw her purse and her briefcase forcefully onto the sofa. Where was he? She knew he was home. He’d texted her awhile ago to let her know he was going home straight from a worksite. On a normal day, she would have longed to beat him home so that she could watch him show up all rugged and gruff in his steel-toed boots and his dirt-covered jeans, but not today. Today she meant business.
“Travis!”
“Babe?” He rounded the corner into the kitchen, his wet hair dripping onto the shoulders of his white tee shirt. She ignored the way the tight shirt clung deliciously to his muscular form and the way his old, raggedy jeans fit him so perfectly. Even his bare feet were magnificent.
But, no. No, no, no.
He halted to a near tiptoe when he got a look at her face. Good. Be afraid. Be very afraid. “Um, hey, sweetie,” he said with a gentle smile. Eying her, he headed for the kitchen and helped himself to a glass and a wine bottle. “Wine?” He asked as he carefully removed the wine stopper.
“No,” she spat. Then she changed her mind. “Yes.” Then she shook her head. “No.”
“How ‘bout I just pour it and leave it there…”
“How about you just cut the act. Stop trying to butter me up!”
His eyes widened and his jaw dropped and she swore she could see the wheels turning in his head. “Okay…” He said carefully. “Look, if this is about the mess I left behind in the bathroom this morning, I’m sorry. I was in a rush, I shouldn’t have left it—“
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Thishasnothingtodowiththemessinthebathroom!”
“How about a slice of chocolate cake to go with that wine? I stopped at the store on the way home.”
She opened one eye and squinted at him through her wink. “You did?”
He nodded. “Mmhmm.” Turning around, he busied himself with the delectable-looking cake that he lifted the lid off of. She could smell the aroma almost immediately and it sent shivers down her spine. “If you want, we can take all this to the bedroom and lay in bed and have dessert and…talk…”
Who the hell was this and what had he done with Travis? Since when did he cater to every woman’s stereotypical idea of heaven? Why did he know exactly what to say and how to say it? Or what to buy or what to pour? He knew…he knew he was hiding something.
“No,” she snapped, refusing to let Travis win. “Stop distracting me. Now I want you to tell me what Eric said to Juliet yesterday and I want you to tell me now.”
Looking up at Beth, Travis finally relented and lay the cake knife down on the counter. “I promised him I wouldn’t say anything.”
“And we promised no secrets. Didn’t we?”
She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “Juliet didn’t tell you?”
“No. I just found out this morning that I got handed the project and that something happened yesterday. But she refuses to elaborate. Only that whatever it was, it changed her. And not for the better. And she’s cut all ties with Eric, every single one. How does a person feel that strongly for another person and then want to just…cut all ties all of a sudden like that? Travis. What did he say?”
“We should sit down.”
“Whatever it takes.”
Coming around the bar, Travis took Beth by the hand and led her over to the sofa. In the living room, the lamplight was dim and the city lights sparkled out the window. It would have been the perfect romantic moment had her heart not been pounding with fear.
Taking her by the hands as he sat next to her, Travis looked solemnly into Beth’s eyes. “Beth. I don’t want to lose you.”
Her eyes widened and her heart pounded harder. “Why…why would you start a conversation like that?”
“Because what I’m about to tell you is going to make you very upset. You feel for Juliet like she’s your sister—just like Eric is my brother. I don’t want us to be divided by this and I don’t want it to interfere with our relationship. I just ask that you…take everything into consideration before you react.”
“You’re scaring me…”
“First of all, I want you to know that he did not mean it. At all. I don’t support what he said, not the first little bit, but the important thing is that he knows it was wrong. He’s beating himself up over it really bad and he’s even seeking therapy for it. Okay?”
“Travis…” she gasped.
“They had a fight. He was upset. He’d just seen her with Jason that morning. He was suffering from jealousy, his pride got in the way. And in the heat of the moment he told her that…um…” Travis cleared his throat. “He told her that no wonder her husband smacked her around…because she’s crazy.”
Beth thought she might be sick. Jerking her hands out of Travis’s, she gasped and she jumped back, covering her mouth.
“Baby,” he said gently. “Just…give it a minute.”
Her chest heaved with breath and her stomach churned as she could only imagine what it must have felt like to be in Juliet’s shoes in that moment. Tears sprang to her eyes and she understood Juliet’s mood this morning fully and completely now. “How could…how could I just…give it a minute?”
“Eric called me yesterday and asked me to come get him. I found him outside Juliet’s building and he…he fucking scared me, babes. I thought he was going into shock. He was so out of it, it was like…I’m surprised he even knew his own name. He couldn’t focus, he…he didn’t even know where his own truck was, it was…Beth, please. Like I said, I don’t support his words. I’m not going to defend them. But, please understand…you know he wouldn’t hurt a fly. You know him.”
“Do I?” She finally breathed.
“Don’t we…don’t we say things we don’t mean when we fight? Don’t we hurt each other sometimes?”
Beth gaped at him. “Well…well, yeah, but…I mean, I’ve never told you that I hope you go into a diabetic coma or something. I mean, wouldn’t you be afraid I’d try to…you know, poison you with sugar or hide your insulin or something?”
Travis tried to stifle a smirk, but he wasn’t very good at it. “No. Because I know you’d never do something like that. You might…I don’t know, push me out of one of these windows or something unexpected like that, but I trust you enough to know you wouldn’t do something like jeopardize my health. I wouldn’t suspect it for a second. Because I know you.”
Scooting over close to her, he reached around and hesitantly rested his arm around her shoulders. She couldn’t help but to sink into the warm comfort of his embrace. Pulling her into him, he leaned back and rested his feet up on the coffee table. “How could he do that to her?” Beth whispered.
“I don’t know,” Travis replied quietly.
“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do with that. How do I—how do I face him again?”
“How am I supposed to face Juliet?” He sympathized. “Every time she looks at me, she’s going to see him. Literally.”
Beth pinched his side lightly and he caught her hand and he laughed. “This is no time for joking,” she smiled.
“I mean it,” he said. “If she thinks one thing about him, she’s going to look at me and wonder the same thing. I’ll be persecuted by default.”
They were silent for a moment before Beth lifted her head and looked up at him. “Eric’s going to therapy?”
“Yeah,” Travis nodded, tucking Beth’s hair behind her ear. “He made an appointment today.”
“So did Juliet. She’s going back to therapy. Wants to try again.”
“That’s good. Good for her.”
Beth let out a breath and rested her head against Travis’s shoulder again. “I just want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy. She just…hasn’t done anything to deserve any of this shit life has dealt her. You know?”
“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to face him. I have to work with him now and it’s…it’s a lot to process because he hurt my best friend. Seriously hurt her. But I’m glad he’s chosen to go to therapy for it. I mean, I know…I know he would never hurt her. But her trust was so delicate already. It was so fragile and now…now it’s nonexistent. I just hope she can learn how to trust again.”
Travis pressed his lips into the top of her head. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, but—“ She heard the catch in his voice and her eyes widened in alarm. Sitting up, she saw the redness in his eyes as he tried to blink it away.
“Baby,” she said, reaching up and wiping a stray tear off of his cheek. “Baby, don’t cry!”
“I’m sorry, I just…I hurt so bad for him.” He cleared his throat and shook his drying hair out of his face. “He fucking cried on me today. Beth, he—I’m not gonna lie, I’m so scared for him to be alone right now.”
Her eyes widened in alarm. “Why are you--? Is it that bad? Do you think he’d--?”
“He’s tried to before. A couple of times. I just…I wonder sometimes what his breaking point will finally be. I think maybe therapy will be good for him. Maybe it’ll help not only work out this issue, but a lot of the other ones he’s been harboring throughout his life. I think he really needs this. I just hate that it had to happen under these circumstances.”
“Well, Travis—I mean, if you’re afraid for him to be alone, then maybe you—“
“And…well, there’s part two.”
Beth raised her eyebrows.
Travis nodded to the side. “He’s in the guest room.”
“He’s here?”
“He’s asleep. He needs the sleep. He looked like a fucking zombie at work today, I—his first therapy session is Wednesday. I just want him to get through that. Beth, you gotta understand, I couldn’t leave him alone.”
Beth froze as she stared at Travis, forcing herself to process just what was going on under that roof.
“I understand if…if you feel like you have to go back to your apartment,” he said quietly.
“Do you want me to go back to my apartment?”
“No. But if this is going to make you uncomfortable…”
“Travis. Are we serious about this relationship or not?”
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”
“Then next time you…you invite a houseguest, you might want to clear it with me first.”
“I’m sorry, I—“
“I mean, what if I’d walked through the apartment, stripping my clothes off, raring to go?”
“Um…”
“And I came through here, screaming like a banshee, it’s a wonder I didn’t wake him up!”
“Well—well, okay. You got me there.”
“I don’t mind that he’s here,” she continued. “Sure, it’s going to be a little awkward, but…he’s your brother. That makes him my family, too. And if you think he’s safer here—“
Travis cut her off when he took her face in her hands and he kissed her. “Thank you. You’re amazing.” Pulling away, he brushed her hair out of her face. “Look, I’m making dinner tonight. Eric’s diet is…a little more delicate than mine, given his diabetic track record, if you know what I mean. But, uh, what do you say we take a rain check on the cake and wine and take it to bed later? Okay?”
Beth nodded. “I got so lucky when you walked me home that night. When’s the last time I told you how wonderful you are?”
Travis smiled. “Um…pretty sure you screamed it out around 2am on Saturday…”
Grinning, she kissed him softly and tickled his side gently. “Shut up,” she whispered. “There’s a pair of sweats somewhere in there with my name on them and you have to get to work in the kitchen. Hop to it, buddy.”
As Beth and Travis left the living room, Travis stopping in the kitchen and Beth continuing into the bedroom, she sat on the edge of the bed and she looked around for a moment, letting out a breath. Okay, then. Eric brutally devastated Juliet. Juliet is an emotionless shell and Eric is sleeping just down the hallway. Beth could deal with this. She could do it, no sweat.
Couldn’t she?
ERIC’S ABSENCE AT dinner absolutely did not go unnoticed. In fact, the tension over it was damn near unbearable. Granted, the only person feeling the tension was Travis, but who could blame him since he was sharing a meal with the man who was likely nailing his brother’s ex?
It was Wednesday—guys’ night. The truth was, Travis would have rather been home, talking to Eric about how his first therapy session went, but Eric had moved back into his own place and told Travis that he needed time alone to think. He insisted that Travis go to dinner and tell the guys he’d catch them next time and he assured Travis that he would be okay. Travis made sure to text him every half an hour or so anyway, just to ease his own mind.
Somehow, Jason had been included in the Wednesday night festivities. He’d become buddies with Terrell recently, probably from the gym, and now Terrell was bringing him around everywhere he could. He’d managed to get a night away from his kid and he got along swimmingly with Barry and Jesse. Truth was, he was kind of a perfect fit with their group. He was damn likable—Travis liked him, after all. But now it was just awkward, like he was betraying Eric or something. Travis had never been more uncomfortable.
They ended up at the usual tavern they met at. Dim lighting, questionable hygiene, tall tables, and unlimited free peanuts for appetizers. The cheese fries were amazing, though, and you couldn’t beat their selection of imported beer. It was comfortable enough to kick back and shoot the shit without concern for your surroundings and that was why they frequented the joint.
Travis couldn’t kick back, though. Not when the burly Hawaiian, who was easily twice his size, kept shooting looks across the table at him as if he were sizing him up and trying to decide which avenue was most entertaining for fucking Travis’s world up.
What the hell had Juliet told him?
Barry and his big mouth interrupted Travis’s thoughts. “Hey, where’s that buzzkill brother of yours tonight? He decide he’s too good for us now or what?”
“No,” Travis muttered. “He’s…going through some things. Prefers his privacy.”
“Probably for the better,” Barry replied. “He’s an asshole when he drinks, anyway.”
“Maybe he’s just an asshole to you,” Travis shot back.
“Whoa!” Barry laughed, his bald head glistening under the dim light. “Look out, boys! Blondie’s got jokes! Hey, what’s got you, anyway? Your mojo get cut off now that you’re tied down or what?”
“No,” Travis replied, adjusting himself in his chair. He twirled the label on his beer bottle to face him. “Maybe I’m just not a huge fan of sharing a table with the guy who’s biting off of my brother’s seconds.”
Involuntarily, Travis’s eyes looked up and met Jason’s hard, green ones. And now Jason was thirty-eight hot.
“What the hell are you trying to pull?” Jason asked him threateningly. “I’ve been sitting here all night long, trying to figure you out and it’s the damnest thing. But now I get it. I’ve been seeing you everywhere—dinner, the gym, Carson Innovations, in random places in public…you’re stalking Juliet, aren’t you? You’re him. You’re ‘the guy.’ And you’re playing both of my close friends. Does Beth know?” Jason rose from his chair. “I should snap you in half where you sit—“
Travis nearly choked on his current mouthful of beer. He was miraculously able to swallow it as he gaped across the table. Not to be outdone, he stood from his own chair without concern for the several inches Jason had on him. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m with Beth, I’m not interested in Juliet!”
“Juliet Carson?” Barry nearly squealed.
Everyone ignored him. Jason replied, “Really, bro? You’re gonna stand there and look me in the eye and say that? You’re—you’re fucking everywhere!”
“Dude, it’s not me, it’s my brother!”
“Is that who Eric was nailing on the phone that night?” Barry interrupted.
Once again, he was ignored.
“Don’t play that shit with me,” Jason glared. “I fucking spoke to you! All three times!”
“What three times?”
“Uh, the elevator at Carson—“
“Okay,” Travis conceded, raising his hands in defeat. “I was there to see Juliet that day, I’ll give you that one. But not like you think—“
“—and then both times I saw you at the gym. And the last time you were staring Juliet down like some psycho stalker and I told you—I warned you—“
“I never saw you at the fucking gym! I’m telling you, it wasn’t me! It had to be—wait, it was—“
“So, what, are you trying to tell me you have some…some fucking twin roaming around Manhattan or some shit? Come on—“
“YES!”
The chorus rang out loud and clear as four voices simultaneously shut down the confrontation. Jason looked taken aback for a moment as the table fell silent. Then he looked around at the eyes staring back at him and he scoffed nervously as he smirked. “So…so, what, you got a twin? Like…for real?”
Travis nodded as Terrell stood and tapped Jason’s shoulder and showed him something on his phone. Travis itched to see what it was but he decided not to rock the boat. “That’s Eric,” Terrell pointed him out. “He and Travis are identical twins. See?”
If Jason’s tanned skin could have gone pale, it would have. Instead, he wiped sweat from his upper lip and glanced at Travis. “So there are two of you. Dude, I—“
“The hair should have tipped you off,” Travis muttered.
“Well, shit, dude. I thought you were…you know, fucking disguising yourself or something, I don’t know. But this one…Eric? Your brother. He’s the guy.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Well, yeah. She told me about some guy, but never really said much about him. I just know that he’s the one she keeps rejecting me for. I’m, uh, sorry, man. We, uh, we cool?”
“Yeah,” Travis said, reaching across the table and shaking Jason’s hand. “We’re cool. Gotta admit, we’ve used the twin thing to get into some crazy shit, but this is the first time I’ve ever feared for my life over it.”
Finally, Barry’s voice bellowed over the group as everyone took their seats again. “Hold on! Back up, just—hold the phone! You’re saying that…that Eric is banging Juliet Carson? Like, on a regular basis? Like, anytime he wants it?”
“It’s not like that,” Travis glowered at him. Then he corrected himself. “Well. I mean it’s kinda like that. It was…”
“Dude…” Barry’s eyes widened as he sat back in his chair. “Eric…is…a god!”
“This guy is really starting to piss me off,” Jason murmured, pointing his thumb in Barry’s direction.
“Whatever, I fucked her, too,” Jesse muttered.
Barry waved him off. “Yeah, but you couldn’t get her off. She went back to Eric for more. And more and more, apparently. So that makes Eric a god.” Then he proceeded to elaborately fake cry, “I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!”
“That where he is tonight?” Jesse asked.
With a shake of Travis’s head, the mood around the table died down. “Nah. Nah, he…they’re having some issues. He, uh, he said some things that he regrets and now she won’t talk to him. He’s in a real bad way, guys. I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“What kind of a bad way?” Terrell asked.
Travis looked up at him and nodded. “Bad. Worse than Sam.”
“Shit,” Jesse hissed.
“Juliet’s the one,” Travis said. “They, uh, they got pretty serious fast. Never went public with it because she’s got her own shit she’s dealing with, but what they had was theirs, you know? And then they had an argument, some words flew around, and he said the wrong ones. And now…he’s been sleeping at my place for the past couple of nights—well, up until tonight when he decided to go back to his place. I’m worried about him, guys. Haven’t been this worried about him in a long time.”
The table was silent as the guys either drank from or messed with their beer bottles. “I had a feeling it was serious,” Jason finally said. “But, Jules, she’s…she’s locked down tight. Getting her to tell you anything is like…like getting into Fort Knox.”
“But she told it all to Eric,” Travis revealed. “She told him everything. There was nothing they didn’t tell each other. Hell, he probably told her shit that I don’t even know. It was like that.”
“Well, if it helps, I haven’t heard from her since Sunday.”
“Since the gym,” Travis said. “After that is when the argument happened.”
“Did they…was it because of me?” Jason asked.
“Well, I’m not…I’m not blaming you,” Travis said. “But if you saw your girl out with another guy, you’d get pretty hotheaded, too, wouldn’t you?”
“Shit,” Jason said, sitting back in his chair. “Fuck, to hear her tell it…I never even knew they got back together from the first time. I’m telling you, Juliet only tells you shit on a need-to-know basis. I thought they were still broken up. I sent Juliet back to the locker room and came back and I told him he better keep his eyes off my girl or else. I called her my girl…”
Travis glared at Jason. “Your girl?”
“Well, fuck, dude! Jules and Beth and I go way back, over ten years! I had a thing for her then, I left town for awhile. Come back seven years later, there she is, I missed her, of course I want to try to get with her. Apparently so does the rest of New York, I learned that the hard way. I mean, she and I, we’re not…you know, we’re not really dating or anything—hell, we haven’t even kissed. But I thought I might have a shot, maybe try to reignite an old flame. I had no idea who he was—I thought he was you. And you can’t blame a guy for trying, right?”
“No,” Travis agreed, shaking his head. “No, I guess not.”
“I had no idea it was like that with your brother, though. Juliet and I are just friends, I’m not…I’m not going to interfere with that. She’s got enough on her plate as it is, apparently.”
“So what do we do?” Barry asked. “How bad is it? I mean, do we need to bust up in his apartment or what?”
“I don’t know,” Travis said. “He’s…he’s quiet. He doesn’t say much. Works and goes home. And when he’s home, he doesn’t really do much else but sleep. I’ve been having to wake him up to make him eat. Which reminds me, I should probably stop by there when I leave here. It’s just—it’s to the point where I’m afraid he’ll just give up. I almost feel like I need to move in with him to keep him alive. It’s nothing for him to just up and ‘forget’ his insulin. That shit scares the fuck out of me. But today,” Travis let out a breath. “Today, he…I don’t know, I don’t want to air out his business. I just hope that after today, he starts…you know, living again. Right now I think he just needs our support.”
“How do you support someone who doesn’t want it?” Jesse asked. “We all remember what happened with Sam—“
“Because this runs deeper than Sam,” Travis interjected firmly. “Sam wasn’t the one. This one is. And the truth is, he’s probably lost her—for good. We just need to be there. Whenever he’s ready to talk or…or whatever, we just need to be there.”
Jason looked around the table, his eyebrows furrowed. “The guy’s depressed. Like, straight up. And apparently he’s not very good at looking after his own health. So we’re gonna just sit here and let him hibernate in his apartment and just hope he comes out and sees his shadow one day? No. It doesn’t fucking work like that. If he needs support, he needs to know he has it.”
“What do you suggest we do?” Terrell asked.
“I don’t know,” Jason replied. “But in my world, we don’t just let our buddies drown. We pick them up off the floor, hold their heads while they puke, and breathe down their necks until they can walk on their own again. Nobody should be left to go through anything on their own. Not if they don’t have to.”
“Okay, then,” Travis said, tossing a peanut into the middle of the table. “Since I’m already going there, I got tonight. Next?”
“Thursday,” Jesse said.
“Friday,” Barry called.
“Saturday,” Terrell’s bass answered.
Jason lets out a breath. “Guess that leaves me with Sunday.”
Travis arched an eyebrow and Terrell scoffed. “Yeah, right. You gonna hold Eric’s head while he pukes? He’ll fight you first. No, my shift is Saturday and this shit ends Saturday. Clear your calendars, boys. You have plans.”
As they all went their separate ways home that night, Travis called Beth to let her know he wasn’t coming home. She was so understanding about it that it hurt his heart in the best, most exhilarating way possible. God, he was blessed with a fucking perfect woman. What the hell was the big guy thinking when he dropped Beth into Travis’s life, anyway? What had he done to deserve her?
Beyond that, he was feeling a little better about Eric’s situation. Knowing that Eric wouldn’t be spending his nights at home alone—whether he liked it or not—was a huge relief to Travis. And with the plans Terrell had made for Saturday…Travis merely shook his head on his way out the tavern’s door. Terrell’s heart was in the right place, but Travis wasn’t sure how much good it would do other than piss Eric off. Then again, maybe a little anger was what Eric needed. Travis would appreciate seeing a little life in him for a change.