PARK AVENUE
It was late. Beth was exhausted, concerned about Juliet, and feeling guilty. She shouldn't have left Juliet alone. At least not in...well, not in the situation she'd left her in. She didn't even try to check in on her or attempt to say bye. She tried to convince herself that she knew in her heart that Juliet would be okay that night. Except that with Juliet, you never knew. And the last thing Beth wanted to be was a bad friend.
She had cleaned up, though. She'd made sure to do that before she left. After Chris had shown up and shown his ass and ultimately ruined the one party that Juliet had ever had--one that she never wanted to have in the first place--Beth thought that was the least she could do. The truth was, she had completely forgotten that she'd invited Chris at all and, after their breakup, didn't anticipate ever seeing him again. As a result, Juliet had left her own party, no doubt humiliated and defeated, and Beth was overall disappointed. Things had been going so well all night.
A little too well, actually. Beth's intent to set Juliet up with Travis earlier in the week before they knew him as Travis, had been surprisingly futile on the night they'd seen him. So she'd intended to pair her up with Eric, whom Beth's intuition convinced her that somehow was perfect for her, but then Travis showed up and everything seemed to go back to square one. The fact that they turned out to be twins? It was a little mind-blowing. However, in a matter of a couple of hours, Juliet and Travis were already seeming to...grow apart. Juliet seemed distracted. Distant. And Beth would have been more than happy to chat up Travis's cute twin brother had he not had a thing for Juliet and had Beth not had a nagging feeling that something in the party's atmosphere wasn't quite right. She'd caught a couple of stolen glances from Travis throughout the evening and she felt horrible for receiving them, as Juliet seemed to be enjoying herself in his company. It felt wrong. It felt dirty. But, God, Travis was just so damn sexy.
By the end of the night, after Juliet's and Travis's tiny affair had all but fizzled, and after the party began to dwindle and thin out after Chris's disgusting display and the hostess's sudden disappearance, Travis had approached Beth and took the garbage bag from her hands with a smile. Beth had melted on impact and the pair engaged in what seemed like endless conversation as they cleaned up the remnants of the party together.
Once they'd finished what they were going to finish, Beth saw the now-rumored womanizer blush for the first time that night. He was adorable, the way he'd smiled boyishly at her, shoving his hands in his pockets and shyly offering to walk her home. Beth hadn't intended to walk home. She'd intended on getting a cab and keeping out of the chill of the late October air. It was late and she hated the cold. But something in Travis's eyes and his smile made him absolutely irresistible and that was how she found herself sauntering next to him under a clear night sky on Park Avenue.
"So. Park Avenue, huh?" Travis said as he looked around.
"I don't actually live on Park Avenue," she replied. "More like a...small side street off of it. I don't, um, I don't usually walk to and from Juliet's. It's, uh, kind of a long walk."
Under the street lights, he turned to look at her, genuine concern washing over his face. "Oh. I'm--I'm sorry, did you--? We can take a cab, it's no problem--"
"It's okay," she smiled shyly. "It's--this is nice. Sometimes a long walk is good for you."
"I walk almost everywhere," he replied, looking ahead of them again. "I don't even own a vehicle and I grab a cab if I absolutely have to. Sometimes I hitch a ride with Eric. But walking is healthier, for sure. Keeps me active, keeps me loose. Sometimes it's good for clearing your mind and shit. You know?"
Beth gazed into the air in thought. "Guess I never really looked at it that way. It's just always been a way to get from point A to point B for me. And when you're traveling the world in stilettos, the concrete isn't always your friend."
He glanced down at her feet and then over his shoulder. "We can get a cab. It's no problem--"
"It's fine," she assured him. "Really. So, uh...you seem to be really into, um...you know, health and stuff..."
He chuckled lightly. "Health and stuff, huh? Uh, yeah. Yeah, I believe in staying healthy. That's important to me. I try to eat right and stay active. What, uh, what about you?"
Beth sighed, the blood rising to her cheeks. "Carbs and wine are my best friends."
"You'd never know it," he smirked, actively looking her over.
"Well, you know...I, uh, I try to stay active, too. I have a class or two I go to during the week. You know..."
"Let me guess," he said with amusement in his voice. "Uh...spinning and...yoga."
She whipped her head over at him and shot him a playful glare. "Body Pump and aerobics."
"Body Pump, huh?" He raised an eyebrow and objectified her once more. "It's definitely working for you."
Suddenly, Beth grew flustered and the heat rose to her cheeks as she tried to blink the nerves away. Without a reply, she turned her attention back to the path ahead of them and continued to walk, ignoring the chilly wind that hit her in the face. She wasn't sure how to react. Was she offended? Flattered? What she knew she was, was confused.
Apparently, Travis detected her discomfort. "Um, look, uh, if that was offensive, I apologize. I wasn't trying to be offensive. I just...I just find you attractive. Very attractive."
Finally, she blushed and she cleared her throat, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank you," she replied softly.
"You're welcome. Anytime."
She swallowed as they walked in awkward silence. Beth hated awkward silences. Despised them. But she didn't know how to feel or what to say. While she couldn't deny her attraction to him, or the electricity that seemed to radiate the very moment he'd taken the garbage bag out of her hand, she was hesitant. Maybe Chris had been the last straw. Maybe her relationship with him finally caused her to find her guard and put it up. She was tired of being hurt and walked all over and taken advantage of. And here she was, walking home with a man who confessed his attraction to her merely hours--short hours--after spending the party trying to get what every man wanted out of Juliet. When that didn't work out...was Beth...? Was she even...?
"Travis," she said quietly, her nerves returning in full force along with her passionate hatred for confrontation. "Why are you here?"
Clearly, she had caught him completely off guard. "What?"
"Why--why are you--? Why did you stay? Why are you walking me home?"
"I--well--I mean, after that little exchange with the big white elephant in the room back there, I just...it didn't feel right letting you leave alone."
Tight-lipped with realization, she merely nodded in understanding. So that was it, then. He was just being nice. "Oh," she said, her eyes falling on the concrete. "Well, that's, um--I appreciate that, thank you."
Letting out a breath, her eyes darted around uncomfortably, her feelings and her ego taking a massive hit. For the first time in the entire ten plus years she had known Juliet, she felt a tiny twinge of jealousy and then immediately felt guilty for it. All these men wanted Juliet for the wrong reasons and it wasn't fair to her. All this time Beth had encouraged Juliet to get out there and get more out of these dates, but now she wondered for what? No wonder Juliet never bothered to commit. Maybe all this time, Juliet had it right to keep the male species at arm's length. At least she wasn't wearing her emotions on her sleeve and getting her feelings crushed all the time.
Surprisingly, completely out of nowhere, Travis's hand, large and warm, invaded her space and slid her wrist out of her coat pocket. Lacing his fingers with hers, he smiled and glanced at their hands as they dropped listlessly between them, joining the pair indefinitely. "I also wanted the opportunity to do that."
In an instant, Beth's heart melted and her head spun. What the hell was going on right now?
_____________________________________
Travis had never had a reputation for saying all the wrong things. But he sure as hell was gaining one tonight, it seemed. Every time he opened his mouth, Beth's face fell or she looked painfully uncomfortable. The truth was, however, he had no idea what the hell he was doing. And that was a first.
He remembered the first time he ever laid eyes on Beth Knight, he had no clue in hell who she was and he didn't care. She was beautiful and her long lashes had invaded his mind on several occasions since then. However, the moment he found out he was going to Juliet Carson's apartment, he knew he was getting laid. He would finally get his chance at New York's hottest commodity and he would be the one that she would finally beg for more and never let out of her sight. He would conquer her and live to tell about it. That night would be legendary.
It had certainly started out that way. He hadn't even had to try, Juliet practically gravitated toward him. It was a massive boost to his ego and he was eager to find her bedroom and say to hell with the rest of the party. Except that something was off about her. Something wasn't right. She was distant and she seemed to hold back. And then, somehow, Eric ended up inadvertently in the mix and Travis lost interest quicker than he expected to. It wasn't a battle worth fighting, not after finding out his brother's feelings for Juliet. Travis could be a douche, that much he knew. But he couldn't take it quite that far. So he didn't.
Beth Knight, though. God, she was a fox. He was instantly reminded of those long lashes of hers the moment she walked up to him and Eric with that smile that wasn't meant for him. Her smile was the sun and her voice was music and, in that moment, he understood Eric's feelings toward him when it came to Juliet. How douche of a move would it have been, though, to break it off with one woman and move on to her best friend in the same night? Was that even physically possible? Could he be smooth about it?
Apparently, he needn't make much of an effort at all. Once Beth's ex walked through the door, that was pretty much all she wrote. Juliet all but forgot Travis's name, not even making the effort to say goodnight before she disappeared from her own party, and Travis's heart was steadily going out to Beth.
He didn't know why he didn't take into consideration that Beth might catch on to his little switcheroo--or that it would even matter to her. But now he was guessing that it probably did and now he was feeling like an asshole. There was something about this woman, something that...made him care.
Travis never cared.
But holding Beth's hand was something special. Holding her hand caused him to care about her feelings. It caused him to care about her safety and her well-being and what she thought of him. He had never, in his life, cared about what anyone thought of him--except maybe Eric. But he had always been a straight "take me or leave me" type. Until maybe this moment. Maybe, with the fact that she hadn't let go of his hand yet, he was willing to be whatever she wanted him to be.
She hadn't spoken since he'd taken her by the hand. They'd walked several minutes in silence and he was dying to know what she was thinking. Actually, scratch that, he was pretty sure he knew what she was thinking and none of it was good for him. He glanced down at their hands between them and smiled once more. She still hadn't let go, though.
Taking a deep breath, he chose to break the ice--again. "I'm here because I want to be."
She merely looked over at him, her eyes studying him. Yet, she remained silent.
His face fell and he looked ahead into the air. "I know what you're thinking. You don't even have to say it." Then he glanced at her. "Not that you're really trying to or anything. But I know. And it looks bad. I get it. I totally get it, but--it's really not as bad as it looks."
"I wouldn't know," she said dryly.
At that, he stopped her in the middle of the empty sidewalk and looked at her face under the glow of the street lamp. In the heels that she wore, she stood almost eye-level with him. "I'm a douchebag. I know I am, I fully admit it."
She shook her head in objection. "Travis, you're--you're not--"
"No. No, it's fine. I came to the party with complete douchebag intentions. And, trust me, Juliet made it that much easier for me."
At that, she glared at him, her jaw tightening in defense. Jesus, she was a complete Mama Bear.
"I'm not trying to blame her," he said quickly. "I'm just simply stating the facts. But, Beth, listen. You can't--you can't know anything until you--you know, until you experience it, right?"
"This is not going well," she warned him.
"Well, damn it, woman, what do you want from me?" He breathed in exasperation. "I'm only a man. A curious one, one who was approached by...well, I mean, come on."
Her silent reply was an expectant arched eyebrow.
"We didn't click. We just...didn't. There was no connection, it didn't take long. And it was completely mutual, it's not like she was interested in me for more than five minutes, either. And I just--I couldn't keep my eyes off of you, Beth. Okay? I'm sorry, but I couldn't. And I still can't and--" He laughed desperately as he raised their still-linked hands. "--and look, I mean you're still holding my hand. Come on, Beth. Come on. I saw the way you looked at me in the bar that night. Come on."
She took a slow, deep breath and she blinked her eyes, heavy with exhaustion. "You know what it looks like on my end, Travis? It looks like you couldn't score with my best friend so you settled for second best. I bet you've never been turned down before, have you?"
He looked at her wide-eyed. Was this a trap? Shrugging a sheepish shoulder, he ducked his head. "Well...I mean..."
"I bet you've never gone home alone from anywhere, have you?"
"Well, that's not entirely true..."
"I need to go home."
"Beth, please," he pleaded. "This is not--it's not--it isn't where I intended this to go--"
"What did you intend?"
"I didn't intend to hurt you! I'm fucking--I've never done this before! I don't do this, I don't...I don't beg and I don't plead for chances, you're either interested or you're not, but fuck, Beth, I think this time you're worth it. Are you listening? Because this a big deal for me, fucking...you know, wearing my heart on my sleeve like this and shit. Okay? And you're not second best. All right? If anything, she was."
She searched his eyes in silence for a moment. The anticipation killed him, his heart pounding against his chest, her coming reaction a complete mystery. And then, to his surprise, she giggled lightly. "What?" He said, searching her and gasping for breath. "What the fuck does that mean?"
"You're cute."
"You're driving me up the damn wall."
"I'm sorry," she finally confessed. "I just--tonight made me think. I've always...I always go into things full-on. Chris was no different. Hell, I always knew he was screwing around on me, I just--wanted to see the best in him, you know? I thought he might change. But he never did and they never do. And--and I caught you looking at me tonight and I just...couldn't allow myself to get my hopes up like that again. It's time I grew up and faced reality. Men are dicks. True story."
"Whoa!" He replied, taken aback. "Harsh. I am not a dick."
"You just said--"
"I said I was a douchebag. I didn't say I was a dick. Huge difference."
She scoffed loudly at him. "There is no difference--!"
"There is a difference. Douchebags are clueless idiots. We put our feet in our mouths, speak without thinking, that sort of thing. We're a little self-centered, a little cocky at times, but we douchebags, we have feelings. Okay? Dicks are just...dicks. They're dirty, cheating, lying...feelingless assholes. Good for nothing but...but being dicks."
"Wow," she blinked. "Thanks for clearing that up."
"Why don't you just give this douchebag a chance, huh? Let him hold your hand and walk you home and maybe learn a thing or two about you. I mean, to hear you tell it, you're due a douchebag, right?"
A smile crept across her face and his knees fell weak with relief. "You're very good at this. Anybody ever told you that before?"
"I've never even done this before," he smiled nervously.
"Bet you never had to."
He shrugged. "There's a first time for everything."
Shaking her head, she tightened her grip on his hand and they continued to walk. "Just get me home. My feet hurt and it's cold out here."
"Tell me about you," he said, their hands swinging between them.
They walked a minute or two more in silence before Travis glanced over at her, remembering the contents of his back pocket. Nodding her direction, he said to her, "You know, I just remembered I'm carrying something that'll warm you up."
She looked over at him, raising a curious eyebrow. "Is that so?"
"You like whiskey?"
"I like it all," she smiled.
He let go of her hand long enough to retrieve the flask from his pocket and unscrew the top, offering her first dibs. "It's a fresh flask, I haven't touched it all night."
"Why did you bring this with you?" She asked, turning it up and taking it like a champ.
Travis grinned. "Extra security. You never know."
"We had plenty to drink, you know."
"And you see I never touched it, don't you?"
She smiled as she passed it back to him. Taking a swig of his own, he welcomed the smooth liquid as it calmed his nerves on the way down his chest.
By the time they had turned the corner off of Park Avenue and onto her street, they'd finished the flask and they'd laughed and they giggled as they talked about all of the most random things they could think of to talk about. He learned about her secret obsession with unicorns, her fear of moths, and her allergy to dryer sheets. He, in turn, spoke of his worst surfing wipeouts, the time a bee stung the roof of his mouth, and the way he milked a broken collar bone as a kid, way after it was already healed. "I carried that sling with me to school every fucking day for at least two weeks after I was cleared," he said. "Got me out of every fucking thing. Then my mom found out and I got my ass beat."
"I bet you never faked an injury again," Beth laughed.
"Are you kidding? Of course I did. I just got smarter about it."
They had laughed and talked the entire way and the anticipation of ending up on her doorstep robbed him of his ability to breathe with every step they took. Would she invite him in? Would she let him kiss her? God, that was all he asked. For once, he wouldn't even need to be invited inside, if only he could kiss her. He'd never wanted to taste a woman's lips so badly in his life and he knew that her kiss would intoxicate him in more euphoric ways than the whiskey did. He craved that intoxication. It consumed him.
Unfortunately, that didn't turn out to be an option. For, as soon as they'd slowed to a stop, a white leisure suit rose from the steps and the tall frame sauntered their way, a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Shit," Travis spat. "You gotta be fucking kidding me."
_________________________________
Beth hardly slept that night. And she was sure that Travis probably wasn't sleeping at all. Replaying their walk in her head, she felt horrible. Every single recollection made her feel worse and worse and she was convinced that she would never see Travis again. She'd blown it. Absolutely blown it.
She didn't even know where to begin. How about when she started out complaining about her feet and the weather? How could she be so ungrateful and stupid? He was gorgeous and he was nice to her and he was gracious enough to escort her home. And she thanks him by complaining? That was strike one.
And then there was the part where she vocalized her insecurities. Questioned his intentions and practically insulted him. She'd acted like a spoiled princess, making demands and accusations of him without giving him the benefit of the doubt, which was extremely unfair to him. Oh, and she'd rounded out the onslaught by saying men were dicks. Despite the pleasant hand-holding surprise and their rousing conversation to follow, that was strike two.
Strike three came when they walked up on her building and was met with an unwelcome surprise. Travis had only known Beth for a few short hours and, already, she had made his life a living hell. He was probably "the one," too. She just knew it. That would be her luck. She had no problem keeping around the biggest assholes Manhattan had to offer, but the one she'd managed to look down her nose at and rake under the coals was probably the one who would treat her like a queen for the rest of her life. And now he was gone, too, at her expense. So, now, she'd drained his whiskey, she'd drained his dignity, and more or less drained his freedom, and she was still feeling the buzz from it.
She hadn't realized how buzzed she'd become until she stumbled her way up to her apartment and fumbled with her door keys. All she remembered was that by the time the flask ended up back in Travis's pocket, life just kept getting funnier and funnier. Until it wasn't funny anymore and Beth was walking into her apartment alone.
Hungover and feeling sorry for herself, Beth got out of bed the next morning, nursed her headache, and got in the shower. Despite how she felt, she wouldn't shirk her Sunday bagel duty. Besides, she knew that both she and Juliet would have much to discuss and rehash about the night before.
It was late. Beth was exhausted, concerned about Juliet, and feeling guilty. She shouldn't have left Juliet alone. At least not in...well, not in the situation she'd left her in. She didn't even try to check in on her or attempt to say bye. She tried to convince herself that she knew in her heart that Juliet would be okay that night. Except that with Juliet, you never knew. And the last thing Beth wanted to be was a bad friend.
She had cleaned up, though. She'd made sure to do that before she left. After Chris had shown up and shown his ass and ultimately ruined the one party that Juliet had ever had--one that she never wanted to have in the first place--Beth thought that was the least she could do. The truth was, she had completely forgotten that she'd invited Chris at all and, after their breakup, didn't anticipate ever seeing him again. As a result, Juliet had left her own party, no doubt humiliated and defeated, and Beth was overall disappointed. Things had been going so well all night.
A little too well, actually. Beth's intent to set Juliet up with Travis earlier in the week before they knew him as Travis, had been surprisingly futile on the night they'd seen him. So she'd intended to pair her up with Eric, whom Beth's intuition convinced her that somehow was perfect for her, but then Travis showed up and everything seemed to go back to square one. The fact that they turned out to be twins? It was a little mind-blowing. However, in a matter of a couple of hours, Juliet and Travis were already seeming to...grow apart. Juliet seemed distracted. Distant. And Beth would have been more than happy to chat up Travis's cute twin brother had he not had a thing for Juliet and had Beth not had a nagging feeling that something in the party's atmosphere wasn't quite right. She'd caught a couple of stolen glances from Travis throughout the evening and she felt horrible for receiving them, as Juliet seemed to be enjoying herself in his company. It felt wrong. It felt dirty. But, God, Travis was just so damn sexy.
By the end of the night, after Juliet's and Travis's tiny affair had all but fizzled, and after the party began to dwindle and thin out after Chris's disgusting display and the hostess's sudden disappearance, Travis had approached Beth and took the garbage bag from her hands with a smile. Beth had melted on impact and the pair engaged in what seemed like endless conversation as they cleaned up the remnants of the party together.
Once they'd finished what they were going to finish, Beth saw the now-rumored womanizer blush for the first time that night. He was adorable, the way he'd smiled boyishly at her, shoving his hands in his pockets and shyly offering to walk her home. Beth hadn't intended to walk home. She'd intended on getting a cab and keeping out of the chill of the late October air. It was late and she hated the cold. But something in Travis's eyes and his smile made him absolutely irresistible and that was how she found herself sauntering next to him under a clear night sky on Park Avenue.
"So. Park Avenue, huh?" Travis said as he looked around.
"I don't actually live on Park Avenue," she replied. "More like a...small side street off of it. I don't, um, I don't usually walk to and from Juliet's. It's, uh, kind of a long walk."
Under the street lights, he turned to look at her, genuine concern washing over his face. "Oh. I'm--I'm sorry, did you--? We can take a cab, it's no problem--"
"It's okay," she smiled shyly. "It's--this is nice. Sometimes a long walk is good for you."
"I walk almost everywhere," he replied, looking ahead of them again. "I don't even own a vehicle and I grab a cab if I absolutely have to. Sometimes I hitch a ride with Eric. But walking is healthier, for sure. Keeps me active, keeps me loose. Sometimes it's good for clearing your mind and shit. You know?"
Beth gazed into the air in thought. "Guess I never really looked at it that way. It's just always been a way to get from point A to point B for me. And when you're traveling the world in stilettos, the concrete isn't always your friend."
He glanced down at her feet and then over his shoulder. "We can get a cab. It's no problem--"
"It's fine," she assured him. "Really. So, uh...you seem to be really into, um...you know, health and stuff..."
He chuckled lightly. "Health and stuff, huh? Uh, yeah. Yeah, I believe in staying healthy. That's important to me. I try to eat right and stay active. What, uh, what about you?"
Beth sighed, the blood rising to her cheeks. "Carbs and wine are my best friends."
"You'd never know it," he smirked, actively looking her over.
"Well, you know...I, uh, I try to stay active, too. I have a class or two I go to during the week. You know..."
"Let me guess," he said with amusement in his voice. "Uh...spinning and...yoga."
She whipped her head over at him and shot him a playful glare. "Body Pump and aerobics."
"Body Pump, huh?" He raised an eyebrow and objectified her once more. "It's definitely working for you."
Suddenly, Beth grew flustered and the heat rose to her cheeks as she tried to blink the nerves away. Without a reply, she turned her attention back to the path ahead of them and continued to walk, ignoring the chilly wind that hit her in the face. She wasn't sure how to react. Was she offended? Flattered? What she knew she was, was confused.
Apparently, Travis detected her discomfort. "Um, look, uh, if that was offensive, I apologize. I wasn't trying to be offensive. I just...I just find you attractive. Very attractive."
Finally, she blushed and she cleared her throat, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank you," she replied softly.
"You're welcome. Anytime."
She swallowed as they walked in awkward silence. Beth hated awkward silences. Despised them. But she didn't know how to feel or what to say. While she couldn't deny her attraction to him, or the electricity that seemed to radiate the very moment he'd taken the garbage bag out of her hand, she was hesitant. Maybe Chris had been the last straw. Maybe her relationship with him finally caused her to find her guard and put it up. She was tired of being hurt and walked all over and taken advantage of. And here she was, walking home with a man who confessed his attraction to her merely hours--short hours--after spending the party trying to get what every man wanted out of Juliet. When that didn't work out...was Beth...? Was she even...?
"Travis," she said quietly, her nerves returning in full force along with her passionate hatred for confrontation. "Why are you here?"
Clearly, she had caught him completely off guard. "What?"
"Why--why are you--? Why did you stay? Why are you walking me home?"
"I--well--I mean, after that little exchange with the big white elephant in the room back there, I just...it didn't feel right letting you leave alone."
Tight-lipped with realization, she merely nodded in understanding. So that was it, then. He was just being nice. "Oh," she said, her eyes falling on the concrete. "Well, that's, um--I appreciate that, thank you."
Letting out a breath, her eyes darted around uncomfortably, her feelings and her ego taking a massive hit. For the first time in the entire ten plus years she had known Juliet, she felt a tiny twinge of jealousy and then immediately felt guilty for it. All these men wanted Juliet for the wrong reasons and it wasn't fair to her. All this time Beth had encouraged Juliet to get out there and get more out of these dates, but now she wondered for what? No wonder Juliet never bothered to commit. Maybe all this time, Juliet had it right to keep the male species at arm's length. At least she wasn't wearing her emotions on her sleeve and getting her feelings crushed all the time.
Surprisingly, completely out of nowhere, Travis's hand, large and warm, invaded her space and slid her wrist out of her coat pocket. Lacing his fingers with hers, he smiled and glanced at their hands as they dropped listlessly between them, joining the pair indefinitely. "I also wanted the opportunity to do that."
In an instant, Beth's heart melted and her head spun. What the hell was going on right now?
_____________________________________
Travis had never had a reputation for saying all the wrong things. But he sure as hell was gaining one tonight, it seemed. Every time he opened his mouth, Beth's face fell or she looked painfully uncomfortable. The truth was, however, he had no idea what the hell he was doing. And that was a first.
He remembered the first time he ever laid eyes on Beth Knight, he had no clue in hell who she was and he didn't care. She was beautiful and her long lashes had invaded his mind on several occasions since then. However, the moment he found out he was going to Juliet Carson's apartment, he knew he was getting laid. He would finally get his chance at New York's hottest commodity and he would be the one that she would finally beg for more and never let out of her sight. He would conquer her and live to tell about it. That night would be legendary.
It had certainly started out that way. He hadn't even had to try, Juliet practically gravitated toward him. It was a massive boost to his ego and he was eager to find her bedroom and say to hell with the rest of the party. Except that something was off about her. Something wasn't right. She was distant and she seemed to hold back. And then, somehow, Eric ended up inadvertently in the mix and Travis lost interest quicker than he expected to. It wasn't a battle worth fighting, not after finding out his brother's feelings for Juliet. Travis could be a douche, that much he knew. But he couldn't take it quite that far. So he didn't.
Beth Knight, though. God, she was a fox. He was instantly reminded of those long lashes of hers the moment she walked up to him and Eric with that smile that wasn't meant for him. Her smile was the sun and her voice was music and, in that moment, he understood Eric's feelings toward him when it came to Juliet. How douche of a move would it have been, though, to break it off with one woman and move on to her best friend in the same night? Was that even physically possible? Could he be smooth about it?
Apparently, he needn't make much of an effort at all. Once Beth's ex walked through the door, that was pretty much all she wrote. Juliet all but forgot Travis's name, not even making the effort to say goodnight before she disappeared from her own party, and Travis's heart was steadily going out to Beth.
He didn't know why he didn't take into consideration that Beth might catch on to his little switcheroo--or that it would even matter to her. But now he was guessing that it probably did and now he was feeling like an asshole. There was something about this woman, something that...made him care.
Travis never cared.
But holding Beth's hand was something special. Holding her hand caused him to care about her feelings. It caused him to care about her safety and her well-being and what she thought of him. He had never, in his life, cared about what anyone thought of him--except maybe Eric. But he had always been a straight "take me or leave me" type. Until maybe this moment. Maybe, with the fact that she hadn't let go of his hand yet, he was willing to be whatever she wanted him to be.
She hadn't spoken since he'd taken her by the hand. They'd walked several minutes in silence and he was dying to know what she was thinking. Actually, scratch that, he was pretty sure he knew what she was thinking and none of it was good for him. He glanced down at their hands between them and smiled once more. She still hadn't let go, though.
Taking a deep breath, he chose to break the ice--again. "I'm here because I want to be."
She merely looked over at him, her eyes studying him. Yet, she remained silent.
His face fell and he looked ahead into the air. "I know what you're thinking. You don't even have to say it." Then he glanced at her. "Not that you're really trying to or anything. But I know. And it looks bad. I get it. I totally get it, but--it's really not as bad as it looks."
"I wouldn't know," she said dryly.
At that, he stopped her in the middle of the empty sidewalk and looked at her face under the glow of the street lamp. In the heels that she wore, she stood almost eye-level with him. "I'm a douchebag. I know I am, I fully admit it."
She shook her head in objection. "Travis, you're--you're not--"
"No. No, it's fine. I came to the party with complete douchebag intentions. And, trust me, Juliet made it that much easier for me."
At that, she glared at him, her jaw tightening in defense. Jesus, she was a complete Mama Bear.
"I'm not trying to blame her," he said quickly. "I'm just simply stating the facts. But, Beth, listen. You can't--you can't know anything until you--you know, until you experience it, right?"
"This is not going well," she warned him.
"Well, damn it, woman, what do you want from me?" He breathed in exasperation. "I'm only a man. A curious one, one who was approached by...well, I mean, come on."
Her silent reply was an expectant arched eyebrow.
"We didn't click. We just...didn't. There was no connection, it didn't take long. And it was completely mutual, it's not like she was interested in me for more than five minutes, either. And I just--I couldn't keep my eyes off of you, Beth. Okay? I'm sorry, but I couldn't. And I still can't and--" He laughed desperately as he raised their still-linked hands. "--and look, I mean you're still holding my hand. Come on, Beth. Come on. I saw the way you looked at me in the bar that night. Come on."
She took a slow, deep breath and she blinked her eyes, heavy with exhaustion. "You know what it looks like on my end, Travis? It looks like you couldn't score with my best friend so you settled for second best. I bet you've never been turned down before, have you?"
He looked at her wide-eyed. Was this a trap? Shrugging a sheepish shoulder, he ducked his head. "Well...I mean..."
"I bet you've never gone home alone from anywhere, have you?"
"Well, that's not entirely true..."
"I need to go home."
"Beth, please," he pleaded. "This is not--it's not--it isn't where I intended this to go--"
"What did you intend?"
"I didn't intend to hurt you! I'm fucking--I've never done this before! I don't do this, I don't...I don't beg and I don't plead for chances, you're either interested or you're not, but fuck, Beth, I think this time you're worth it. Are you listening? Because this a big deal for me, fucking...you know, wearing my heart on my sleeve like this and shit. Okay? And you're not second best. All right? If anything, she was."
She searched his eyes in silence for a moment. The anticipation killed him, his heart pounding against his chest, her coming reaction a complete mystery. And then, to his surprise, she giggled lightly. "What?" He said, searching her and gasping for breath. "What the fuck does that mean?"
"You're cute."
"You're driving me up the damn wall."
"I'm sorry," she finally confessed. "I just--tonight made me think. I've always...I always go into things full-on. Chris was no different. Hell, I always knew he was screwing around on me, I just--wanted to see the best in him, you know? I thought he might change. But he never did and they never do. And--and I caught you looking at me tonight and I just...couldn't allow myself to get my hopes up like that again. It's time I grew up and faced reality. Men are dicks. True story."
"Whoa!" He replied, taken aback. "Harsh. I am not a dick."
"You just said--"
"I said I was a douchebag. I didn't say I was a dick. Huge difference."
She scoffed loudly at him. "There is no difference--!"
"There is a difference. Douchebags are clueless idiots. We put our feet in our mouths, speak without thinking, that sort of thing. We're a little self-centered, a little cocky at times, but we douchebags, we have feelings. Okay? Dicks are just...dicks. They're dirty, cheating, lying...feelingless assholes. Good for nothing but...but being dicks."
"Wow," she blinked. "Thanks for clearing that up."
"Why don't you just give this douchebag a chance, huh? Let him hold your hand and walk you home and maybe learn a thing or two about you. I mean, to hear you tell it, you're due a douchebag, right?"
A smile crept across her face and his knees fell weak with relief. "You're very good at this. Anybody ever told you that before?"
"I've never even done this before," he smiled nervously.
"Bet you never had to."
He shrugged. "There's a first time for everything."
Shaking her head, she tightened her grip on his hand and they continued to walk. "Just get me home. My feet hurt and it's cold out here."
"Tell me about you," he said, their hands swinging between them.
They walked a minute or two more in silence before Travis glanced over at her, remembering the contents of his back pocket. Nodding her direction, he said to her, "You know, I just remembered I'm carrying something that'll warm you up."
She looked over at him, raising a curious eyebrow. "Is that so?"
"You like whiskey?"
"I like it all," she smiled.
He let go of her hand long enough to retrieve the flask from his pocket and unscrew the top, offering her first dibs. "It's a fresh flask, I haven't touched it all night."
"Why did you bring this with you?" She asked, turning it up and taking it like a champ.
Travis grinned. "Extra security. You never know."
"We had plenty to drink, you know."
"And you see I never touched it, don't you?"
She smiled as she passed it back to him. Taking a swig of his own, he welcomed the smooth liquid as it calmed his nerves on the way down his chest.
By the time they had turned the corner off of Park Avenue and onto her street, they'd finished the flask and they'd laughed and they giggled as they talked about all of the most random things they could think of to talk about. He learned about her secret obsession with unicorns, her fear of moths, and her allergy to dryer sheets. He, in turn, spoke of his worst surfing wipeouts, the time a bee stung the roof of his mouth, and the way he milked a broken collar bone as a kid, way after it was already healed. "I carried that sling with me to school every fucking day for at least two weeks after I was cleared," he said. "Got me out of every fucking thing. Then my mom found out and I got my ass beat."
"I bet you never faked an injury again," Beth laughed.
"Are you kidding? Of course I did. I just got smarter about it."
They had laughed and talked the entire way and the anticipation of ending up on her doorstep robbed him of his ability to breathe with every step they took. Would she invite him in? Would she let him kiss her? God, that was all he asked. For once, he wouldn't even need to be invited inside, if only he could kiss her. He'd never wanted to taste a woman's lips so badly in his life and he knew that her kiss would intoxicate him in more euphoric ways than the whiskey did. He craved that intoxication. It consumed him.
Unfortunately, that didn't turn out to be an option. For, as soon as they'd slowed to a stop, a white leisure suit rose from the steps and the tall frame sauntered their way, a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Shit," Travis spat. "You gotta be fucking kidding me."
_________________________________
Beth hardly slept that night. And she was sure that Travis probably wasn't sleeping at all. Replaying their walk in her head, she felt horrible. Every single recollection made her feel worse and worse and she was convinced that she would never see Travis again. She'd blown it. Absolutely blown it.
She didn't even know where to begin. How about when she started out complaining about her feet and the weather? How could she be so ungrateful and stupid? He was gorgeous and he was nice to her and he was gracious enough to escort her home. And she thanks him by complaining? That was strike one.
And then there was the part where she vocalized her insecurities. Questioned his intentions and practically insulted him. She'd acted like a spoiled princess, making demands and accusations of him without giving him the benefit of the doubt, which was extremely unfair to him. Oh, and she'd rounded out the onslaught by saying men were dicks. Despite the pleasant hand-holding surprise and their rousing conversation to follow, that was strike two.
Strike three came when they walked up on her building and was met with an unwelcome surprise. Travis had only known Beth for a few short hours and, already, she had made his life a living hell. He was probably "the one," too. She just knew it. That would be her luck. She had no problem keeping around the biggest assholes Manhattan had to offer, but the one she'd managed to look down her nose at and rake under the coals was probably the one who would treat her like a queen for the rest of her life. And now he was gone, too, at her expense. So, now, she'd drained his whiskey, she'd drained his dignity, and more or less drained his freedom, and she was still feeling the buzz from it.
She hadn't realized how buzzed she'd become until she stumbled her way up to her apartment and fumbled with her door keys. All she remembered was that by the time the flask ended up back in Travis's pocket, life just kept getting funnier and funnier. Until it wasn't funny anymore and Beth was walking into her apartment alone.
Hungover and feeling sorry for herself, Beth got out of bed the next morning, nursed her headache, and got in the shower. Despite how she felt, she wouldn't shirk her Sunday bagel duty. Besides, she knew that both she and Juliet would have much to discuss and rehash about the night before.