HEY, JEALOUSY
Friday night had been fun.
Juliet had, indeed, checked her shitty attitude at the door when Jason and Noah picked her up from her condo. They’d spent the night on 42nd Street, bouncing from Pepperoni Palace to Dave and Buster’s. The crowd at the arcade was nearly unbearable, but the skeeball showdown between Juliet and Noah kept Jason entertained for longer than he imagined it would. It was a rare occasion that Noah could keep his attention focused on one activity for any lengthy amount of time, but every time Juliet got a high score, Noah’s determination and excitement only grew. By the end of the night, after a collection of tickets that Jason was almost embarrassed to admit had accumulated between the three of them, Noah had walked out the door with a plush superhero after nearly losing his mind and going into convulsions over the possibility of winning a video game system. Jason had had to switch into dad mode and inform the bouncy child that nobody in real life had that kind of time and then had to go over the importance of making do with what you had—or else. From that point on, Noah was overly, elaborately excited about his default prize choice and Jason was grinning in sweet triumph.
But what also caused Jason to grin were the endless smiles and laughter that came from Juliet. Her guard wasn’t completely down that night as he could see the constant tension in her eyes. But she let it down enough for Noah not to detect anything and given the current circumstances, that was all that really mattered. It was one of the best nights Jason had had in quite a long time and, if even for a few hours, it was like having the old Juliet back again. The entire evening was almost perfect.
Jason wasn’t ready to let go of that quiet yet.
On Sunday, Clara had invited Noah to attend church with her and her grandchildren. Afterward there was some type of Christmas party being held for the kids and Jason decided that a little religion and extra social interaction couldn’t hurt the kid. Plus he couldn’t seem to pass up the effects of punch and cookies on somebody’s watch that wasn’t his. So he was more than happy to send Noah out the door.
But now Jason had a rare few hours of free time on his hands that he intended on taking full advantage of. So he began by showing up on Juliet’s doorstep unannounced, an action that caused his palms to break out in an instant sweat.
She opened the door, donning a fresh face and pajama pants and Jason couldn’t resist the smile. “Jason,” she breathed in surprise. “Hey. Did you see Beth on your way in?”
He narrowed his eyes, confused. “Huh?”
She smiled as she stood out of the way to let him in. “I mean you just missed her. Literally minutes ago. We have breakfast together on Sundays.”
“Ah,” he nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets and stepping over the threshold. “Nah, didn’t see her.”
His eyes wandered around the apartment as she shut the door behind him. He realized now that he’d never been to her place before, not since before he’d skipped town so many years ago, and it dawned on him that he wasn’t sure what to expect. He wasn’t sure he expected the antiques and the open space. On the outside she seemed to be such a strong, modern woman, but inside her apartment it was like she lived in a completely different world. She had obviously intended it that way and, once again, he wondered what secrets she harbored. Did she have secrets? And were they actually secrets or seven years’ worth of ground they hadn’t covered, yet? The truth was, she was a lot more closed-off than she seemed to be all that time ago. But then everybody changed over time, didn’t they?
He didn’t want to focus on that, though. He wanted to spend more fun, carefree time with her. “So I came by to see if you wanted to get a little…physical,” he said, arching his eyebrows playfully at her.
She took a step backward and gaped at him in shock. He struggled to keep the laugh from escaping his throat. “Jason!” She scolded. “We’ve been over this—“
“At the gym,” he finished. Then he allowed himself to chuckle. “You should have seen your face. Priceless.”
Her face turned red and her eyes darted around uncomfortably. “Well, you…you caught me off guard…”
“I know. It was great.”
“So, um…where’s Noah?”
“Church with Clara. I found myself with a few hours to kill. Nice place, by the way. Design it yourself?”
Finally, she smiled. “Of course I did.”
He winked at her. “Feels cozy.”
Looking around, her face fell. “It did,” she replied listlessly. “I’m thinking about moving. Or making some changes. I don’t know yet.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “Memories I should have never created. I’m a real out of sight, out of mind type of person. Or at least I used to be. I don’t really know much about anything anymore.”
“Jules,” he narrowed his eyes. “You keep saying shit like this—“
“So you wanted me to go to the gym with you?”
Her interruption caught him off guard and his mouth hung open. “Uh, yeah, sure. If you’re up to it.”
She smiled. “Wait here. I’ll just go change.”
Just like that. It was that easy. And within five minutes she bounded out of her bedroom in workout gear and a winter coat. “Ready if you are,” she smiled.
Try as he might, Jason had a hard time shoving the uneasy feeling in his stomach aside. “I’m ready,” he nodded.
And then she locked up her apartment and they were on their way.
* * *
Being in the gym with Juliet Carson was an experience Jason had never experienced before. It was something else entirely. The struggle between adrenaline, lust, and the desire to break bones was increasingly difficult to keep in check. To begin with, her ass was life-changing in the gray workout leggings she wore and, despite the modest, white tee shirt that fell just below her hips, watching her squat was quite literally the subject of every male’s dreams within a floor length’s radius of her. She wasn’t the only woman in the gym, by a long shot, but Jason had the hunch that it was her unwelcome notoriety on top of her insane body that was garnering a good amount of the looks that were directed at her. While Jason felt like snapping the neck of every pair of eyes that trailed down her body, Juliet seemed absolutely oblivious to her surroundings as she demanded of him, “My turn. Count for me.”
In a completely platonic way, the few times Jason was actually able to focus on his workout, she was a great little workout partner. She kept her eye on the prize and her head in the game, arguably much better than Jason did, and she pushed harder than most personal trainers he’d worked with. He even made the comment to her as he completed a set of curls, “You sure you weren’t a trainer in another life? Because you’re a natural at it.”
“I don’t come here to play,” she smiled. “I come here to get shit done.”
“You come here on a regular basis?”
“Well, no, not here. I have another one that I frequent and I do some climbing, too. I love climbing.”
“No shit?” Jason grinned. “I love climbing, too. We should go next time.”
Her face fell and she looked distant all of a sudden. “Maybe,” she muttered. “I haven’t been in awhile. I think it’s my turn, though. Count for me?”
Jason nodded as he watched her pick up her dumbbell and position herself in front of the mirror they shared. Distractedly, unable to take his mind off of her change in demeanor, he looked around to get his bearings back when his eyes landed on a set of familiar blue eyes that stared back at him.
Examining the blonde guy on the bench across the weight room, Jason narrowed his eyes. Blondie’s eyes lingered in their direction for another moment or two before he lay back down and reached up for the bar to start another set. What the fuck had just happened? Had the two of them just shared a moment? Had Blondie been…sizing Jason up?
Sizing Jason up. That was a laugh. Jason could have so easily snapped that little fucker like a twig. Except that…the familiarity was too bothersome. He looked an awful lot like Beth’s boyfriend, Travis. Too much like him. And while the guy was a good ways away from him, and maybe Jason was getting up there in years at the tender age of thirty-five, but he knew his eyesight couldn’t have been that bad. It was all he could do not to grab up his phone and text Beth right then, except…shit! His phone was in his locker.
“Jason!” Juliet scolded, pulling him out of his trance and causing him to whirl back around. “Are you even counting?”
“Uh, yeah,” he said, watching her lay her dumbbell down on the floor. “Yeah, that was ten.”
“It was seventeen. And now you get to do seventeen for being so neglectful.”
Shaking his head and smiling, he was able to forget about Blondie for the time being. He took his punishment like a champ and then he threw in an extra three reps just to show her that she couldn’t break him so easily. At that, she crossed her arms over her chest and she huffed and decided that she was ready for another set of squats and that he better do his job this time. Gladly. Gladly he would, definitely. Except…
Except that Blondie’s eyes were at it again. Jason could feel it and he turned around and caught him again. Except that Blondie’s eyes were so focused on Juliet that he didn’t even notice Jason staring him down. Sure, the other men in the gym were frequently glancing in Juliet’s direction, but glancing was all they’d dared to do once they locked eyes with Jason. This guy, though. This guy was something else. One more time with this and Jason was going to have to show the guy whose woman he was fucking with.
Two giant steps to the left effectively blocked Blondie’s line of vision and Jason intended to keep it that way. He wouldn’t get his rocks off like this today, not on Jason’s watch. These places should do background checks or some shit and keep creepy shitheads like that guy out of there. Even Jason was growing uncomfortable and he didn’t really want to show his ass in front of Juliet. That wasn’t to say he was above it, however.
Finally, Juliet dropped her bar and wiped her brow with the back of her forearm. “Okay,” she breathed. “Where to now?”
“I think we’ve had enough for the day,” Jason replied.
“What?” She smiled. She would never know how sexy she looked with her face glistening with sweat the way it did. “We’re just getting started.”
Jason chuckled. “Easy there, Rocky. We’ve been here for, like, an hour and a half. I figure we have just enough time for a post-workout snack before I have to retrieve the kid.”
Juliet nodded in understanding. “Gotcha. Say no more. Man, I’m gonna feel this in the morning.”
Jason grinned as he threw his arm around her shoulder, careful to pin her next to his body and out of Blondie’s line of vision. As they walked toward the locker rooms, Jason turned his neck around and glared at the blue eyes that sat on the bench watching them walk away. Except this time, the blue eyes glared back at Jason. Now it was personal.
“Hey, you know what?” Jason said to Juliet as they reached the locker room doors. “I think I left my water bottle back there. I’ll meet you out front, okay?”
“Okay,” Juliet nodded obliviously before disappearing into the women’s room.
Turning around, Jason clasped his hands together and cracked his knuckles before he retraced his steps and then veered off to the left in a deliberate detour.
Walking up on Blondie, who was now in the middle of another set of presses, closer observance of him told Jason that it was Travis. His hair was different, but he supposed the guy was due a haircut soon, anyway. Walking around the bench, he stood over the head of it and lifted the bar out of Blondie’s hands mid-rep and rested it on the rack. Jason nearly scoffed at the light weight as he leaned his forearms on the bar and lowered his head to address the guy below him.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re trying to pull,” Jason murmured darkly. “But don’t you know that it’s impolite to stare? Especially in the gym? And especially at another man’s girl?”
Travis glared back up at him. “Excuse me? Another man’s girl? You wanna back up and try that again?”
“No,” Jason shook his head. “No, I really don’t. You got a lot of balls, you know that? Now I’m a nice guy, okay? So I’m gonna let you slide this time—this one time. But if this ever happens again, if it ever happens again in this much too large of a city, you’re gonna regret the day you ever laid eyes on her. Are we understood?”
Astonishingly, Jason thought he detected a smirk in Travis’s blue eyes. This guy had balls, indeed. He was practically asking for it. “Believe what you want. Beat me to a bloody pulp, I don’t give a shit. But you’ll never win this. You’re in for a rude awakening, friend. You haven’t seen the last of me. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m in the middle of a workout. And you were…leaving? Have a nice day. Good talk.”
Jason seethed, but he couldn’t cause a scene. Not in his favorite gym, not where Juliet was under the same roof. So he had to let it go. And he had to pray that the next time he saw this asshole, the two of them would be alone.
In the meantime, he had to decide how and what he was going to say to Beth.
ERIC HAD GONE to the gym to blow off steam. He’d grown tired of wallowing in self-pity and he longed to feel human again. Saturday had been the longest day of his life. Juliet had never texted him back, she never called, and he couldn’t help but accept that he deserved it. He’d spent his Saturday in his pajamas, avoiding Travis’s and Terrell’s phone calls, and stared mindlessly up at his TV screen. He didn’t even know what he was watching and he didn’t care. By the time he’d woken up Sunday morning after a sleepless night, he decided he was done with the bullshit. He was stronger than this. The moping wasn’t getting him anywhere. So he decided to rejoin society and start at the gym.
The workout had been just what he needed until he sat up from a set of bench presses and saw Juliet across the gym. His heart lurched up into his throat and he couldn’t believe his good fortune. He’d been working up the nerve to walk over and approach her when the guy that was with her turned around and spotted him. And then Eric’s heart immediately sank down into his stomach and the showdown was on.
So she was with him again. With Jason. Twice in the same weekend. Truthfully, Eric wasn’t sure he had even wanted to know about the first outing to begin with. But seeing date number two with his own eyes was a new kind of pain. A new kind of pain, a new kind of anger…a new feeling altogether. Concentrating on his workout had flown right out the window.
Juliet had never seen him. She’d never even glanced in that direction. And the Hawaiian made sure of it, too. Did he know who he was? Had Juliet told him about Eric, had she shown him pictures, had she cried on his shoulder and described the way Eric had turned tail and left her? No. He knew Juliet wouldn’t have thrown him under the bus that way. But, still. Why was Jason so interested in him all of a sudden?
It was when Jason approached him that Eric’s anger had fully risen to the surface. He didn’t care how big and tall Jason was. With the amount of adrenaline that was pumping through Eric’s veins in that moment, he could have put the big guy on the floor in the blink of an eye. He was proud of himself for keeping his composure, though, seeing as he sure didn’t want to follow in Travis’s footsteps and land himself behind bars. But he was serious when he’d told Jason that he wouldn’t win, that he hadn’t seen the last of Eric. Because he hadn’t. Because Juliet belonged to him, not to that Hawaiian asshole.
And now, with a newfound fresh dose of anger and adrenaline, he marched right into Juliet’s building, up to her door, and he pounded on it, ready to assert his dominance to her. He would show her. He would teach her what it was like to play someone’s emotions like a stringed instrument.
When Juliet opened her door, the bright smile that she wore on her face quickly faded and her eyes grew wide with surprise. Eric arched an eyebrow as he braced himself against the doorway with both hands. "Expecting someone else?"
She blinked her surprise away and stepped back a step or two, allowing Eric to enter the apartment. She was silent and Eric was okay with that. If she spoke, it would only fuel his rage.
"Have a good workout today?" He asked her.
Her eyes darted around nervously. "Um," she sputtered. "I, um, well...yeah, I went to the gym."
"Alone?"
"No..."
"I know you weren't alone. Was just wondering how long you were going to hide him from me."
She furrowed her brow at him and looked him over. "I'm not hiding anything from anyone."
"Oh. So you're trying to parade the burly Hawaiian around in front of me. What kind of game are you playing here, anyway?"
"What in the hell are you talking about?" She spat at him. "Are you stalking me again? Were you at the gym?"
"Mere coincidence this time, sweetheart, don't flatter yourself. I'm surprised you didn't see me, though. He saw me. As a matter of fact, he couldn't keep his eyes off of me. What did you tell him?"
"I didn't tell him anything," she said quietly. "As a matter of fact, he doesn't know you exist--"
"Oh. Well. That’s comforting," he muttered sarcastically.
Juliet glared at him, her voice rising. "So if you were spending your workout staring me down, that is probably why he couldn't stop looking at you."
Eric's eyes hardened at her, hating to admit that she probably had a point. Instead he shoved his hands in his pockets. "It's a little disconcerting, I have to admit. The way you just dropped me like a bad habit and then turned around and picked up a new one. I'm human, you know. I have feelings. And being screwed over like that really kinda hurts."
"I didn't screw you over," Juliet sneered. "If I remember correctly, you screwed me over--"
"No!" Eric replied, hearing his own voice rise in volume. "I did not screw you over! You’re the one who quit, you’re the one who gave up! You’re the one who threw me to the wolves! And now you're out there dating another man? What the fuck am I supposed to think, Juliet? I mean, is it me? Is there something wrong with me? Did caring about you and being there for you and--and allowing to you to be exactly the person you wanted to be, was that--was that not good enough? What's he got that I don't have?"
"How do you know the person I want to be?" She asked meekly.
"Because I know who you don’t want to be and I know who you are. Does he know that? Is he the one talking to you at three in the morning after a nightmare, or--or watching your favorite sappy movies with you or...or showing you his view of the city? I mean, does he have a bigger ego, a bigger window, a bigger dick, what--?"
"He doesn’t know me!" She finally yelled, her eyes squeezed shut and her fists clenched by her sides. "Okay? He doesn't know me. He's an old friend from years ago, and he and Beth and I were very close. But he--he doesn't know. He doesn't know anything and that is why I like spending time with him. Because he doesn't know, I don't have to think about it--"
"So you're lying to him. You've lied to him for how many years now? Is that what I'm hearing?"
"It's none of your business."
Suddenly, he let his body act for him and he closed the gap between the two of them, wrapping his arms around her waist and jerking her body tight against his. As a reflex, he assumed, her arms slid around his neck and he glared hard into her eyes. "Everything about you is my business. All of it, it has been since day one." Being so close to her, having her in his arms, was enough to make his entire body tremble. It trembled with emotion, it trembled with desire, and it trembled with the struggle to keep his cool instead of melting the way he wanted to. "Are you sleeping with him?" He asked her.
"It's not like that--"
"I don't give a shit what it's like, I asked you if you were sleeping with him."
She blinked at him and she shook her head slowly. "No," she whispered.
"I didn't think so," he murmured before crashing his lips into hers, shoving his tongue into her mouth with a hunger that almost couldn't be satiated. He felt her clawing at his collar in desperation, pulling on his shirt, running her fingers through his hair, any way she could touch him, she did, and it felt like heaven.
It was euphoria before she finally released her lock on his lips and she looked up at him, breathless. "I miss you," she whispered, taking his face in her hands. "I miss you so much. Please. Take me to bed. I'll beg you for it, I'll do anything."
There was no need for any of that. Scooping her up off her feet, her mouth devoured his neck and his ear as he carried her to her bedroom. Once on the bed, she rose to her knees and nearly tore his shirt off of him, her savage desire for him so flattering, it was difficult for him not to lose himself in it.
Her hands and her lips trailed eagerly down his torso before her fingers jerked the button of his pants open. Swiftly she pulled down the zipper and shoved her hand into his pants, her fingers closing firmly around him. His head fell back at her touch, his desire for her relentless. His longing for her would never end, and he knew it, and he savored every second now, every fleeting moment he could get with her, as they were becoming more far and few between.
She withdrew her hand and now used both of them to yank his pants and his boxer briefs down over his hips. He bent over long enough to kick off his shoes and remove his socks, and then shoved his pants across the floor and out of the way. He stood before her now, at full attention, and watched her eyes drink him in.
Her hand wrapped around him again, the skin-to-skin contact driving him instantly insane, and she rose on her knees and pressed her lips to his neck. “Eric,” her breath trailed up to his ear. “You’re so sexy. You don’t know what you do to me.”
Testing her, he slid his fingers between her legs and she wasn’t kidding. He could feel her wetness through the flimsy material of the pants she wore and he shivered with excitement. “You’re ready for me,” he whispered back. “Fuck.”
“I’m always ready for you.”
He peeled her pants off of her with such force he thought he might tear them off of her. She shed her own shirt and when she was naked in front of him, he finally wrapped his arms around her and pressed her body against his. Her body was his. The curve of her waist, the swell of her breasts, the ass that he could bounce a quarter off of—that perfection was his. And she didn’t hesitate to let him know it. With her in his arms, the blood of a conqueror coursed through his veins.
This was where he wanted her. He wanted her to want him. He wanted her to need him, he wanted her to desire him. He wanted her to know that there was no other man in the world who was better for her than him. Now was the time to show her that. Now was the time to prove it.
Lifting her off the bed, he wrapped her legs around him as he lowered her down onto her back. She no longer flinched, she no longer hesitated, she now gave into him fully, trusting him to safely carry her into the throes of ecstasy the way he did every single time.
Underneath him, she arched her back and gripped the sheets next to her, and she spread her legs wider, inviting him in for more, anxiously rolling her hips into him in perfect rhythm. The way she wanted him, the way she needed him was intoxicating, and he tangled his fingers in her hair as he claimed her mouth, bucking his hips harder and harder into her.
She whimpered into his mouth and her body began to shake underneath him. Her warmth and her wetness as she tightened around him was almost more than he could handle. She felt so good that he never wanted to stop. Releasing her mouth, he lifted his head and purposely stared down into her eyes as he made love to her. Her jaw was slack and her breath was ragged as she stared back up at him. “Juliet,” he whispered breathlessly. “God, you feel so fucking good.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and pulled him close to her. “Don’t stop,” she whispered. “Don’t ever let me go.”
Burying his face in her hair, he moaned loudly as he came, coming arguably harder than he ever had before. He lay there for a moment, letting his breath calm, vividly aware of the way Juliet’s lips trailed his ear and his neck as her hands ran over the clammy skin on his back. He’d broken a sweat and it was a better workout he would have ever gotten in the gym, hands down.
Oh, right. The gym.
Rolling off of her, Eric collapsed onto the bed and let out a breath as he stared up at the ceiling. Juliet, apparently, wasn't finished with him yet, so she straddled him and littered his skin with soft, sensual kisses.
The way her body felt, laying across his own body, sent chills throughout him and he caught himself reacting to her by gripping her hips gently as they rocked over top of his.
"Eric," she whispered as her lips trailed his jaw. "You're the most incredible man I've ever met and I miss you." Finally, she relaxed her body and rested her head in the crook of his neck and let her fingers trail along his carved-out torso. "I miss you so much it hurts sometimes. I'm so sorry that I didn’t tell you about therapy. I don't want to keep secrets from you, I don't want to make you feel like--"
"Juliet," he said quietly in an effort to silence her. The way she wanted him was intoxicating and addictive, but his heart pounded out of fury after the visual of her laughing and carrying on with the Hawaiian mammoth crept back into his mind.
"Stay with me," she whispered. "Don't ever leave. I want us to be together, I want...I hope you can forgive me for my momentary lapse in judgment. We belong together. And I didn't realize that until--"
"Until what?" He suddenly spat, finally finding a moment of clarity. "Until we fucked?"
She jerked her head up and stared down at him, wide-eyed. "What? No--"
He couldn't bear to let her finish. Instead, she dismounted him as he wriggled himself out from underneath her and slid out of her bed. She could have told him sooner that she missed him. She could have asked him to dinner, called or texted him, shown up at his place...not decided she wanted him after he'd just fucked her brains out. Everything about that just felt wrong. And insincere.
Her jaw dropped as he got out of the bed and started pulling his pants back on. "Where--where are you going? You're not leaving are you?"
"Yeah," he said, scooping his shirt up off the floor. "I gotta go."
"No," she shook her head slowly. "No, stay. Stay here with me, don't leave me."
"Stay? For what?" He asked as he adjusted his clothes. "Long enough to get comfortable so you can ditch me again? That's all you've ever done is ditch me. You build me up, make me feel like we have something, and then boom! You're gone. Leaving me in the dust. Well, how's it feel, princess? Huh? How's it feel now?"
Her jaw dropped in absolute devastation and his heart nearly broke at the sight. The truth was, he didn't really know what he was doing in that moment. He should stop now, retrace his steps—remember the way that she said she missed him and she wanted him and that she wanted them to be together. She wanted it, she’d said it. He almost wasn't familiar with the voice or the words that were even leaving his mouth and he couldn’t seem to stop them.
As if reading his mind, Juliet shook her head, bunching up the sheet around her chest. "This isn't you," she whispered. "This isn't--this is wrong. What did you even come here for?"
He flashed a smirk at her as he shoved his feet into his shoes. "I got what I came here for, baby. Now I gotta jet."
"You...bastard," she finally managed to breathe out, her face beginning to turn a familiar shade of red. "How could you...how could you be so...so heartless? So rude...?"
"You tell me, sweetheart. You tell me."
"So you just...you came over here to--to humiliate me and then leave? Who the fuck are you, Eric? Where the fuck did you go? Maybe it's a good thing you did walk out on me when you did, because if this is the dick that you are, I don't want you anyway! I can't believe I was this wrong about you. I can't believe that I cared that much about you, that I went against everything I believed in, against everything--"
"Oh, save it, Juliet. You never gave a single shit about me, not in any given moment. Why don't you save your sob story for your barbarian boyfriend--?"
"He is not my boyfriend, god damn it! He is just a friend, nothing more! I am single! Single, god damn it! Fucking single! Fuck you!"
Well. Shit. He'd come over here, swinging his dick around, ready to take back his woman and get revenge...but on what? He'd been wrong about the boyfriend, so what? But he wasn't wrong about her hanging him out like a wet rag. He was not wrong about that.
Except that she was already burning hot and coming out of the bed with the sheet wrapped around her body, raring to go. "I hate you," she spat at him through her teeth. "Maybe I quit therapy because I'm smart. Maybe I knew you would leave me, maybe I saw this coming. Maybe I saw that you were going to turn into nothing but a lowlife scumbag just like the rest of them! Except you played me. You played me so well, I didn't even realize it was happening! You played everything, this entire thing was a game to you--"
"Okay," he tried to reason quietly, beginning to regret his stupid little revenge trip. "Let's take a step back, I think we've both said some things--"
"You step the fuck away from me, that’s where you'll step! You played me until I cared, until I trusted, until I opened up, until--even until right now! You know what Jason has that you don't? You really want to know? Jason is real! He knows who he is and he knows what he wants and he doesn't play stupid, childish, immature, bratty games to get it! Maybe, one of these days, when you grow up, you might be half the man Jason is! Because if you were, I would have felt safe and secure enough to commit to you a long time ago, and you wouldn’t be standing here, screwing me over! You stupid, immature...child! I don't need this! I don't need you and I don't need Jason or Beth or Travis, I don’t need anybody! I never did!"
She screamed until her voice grew hoarse and nearly gave out. Eric could only stand there and listen to it. To the way she degraded him, one blow right after the other, hitting him everywhere it could possibly hurt and more. But she was wrong about him. Despite her hurt feelings and her anger and her rage, she was wrong. Every single bit of it was wrong and the kicker was that she knew she was wrong. Nobody knew Eric the way Juliet did. Maybe he deserved the daggers she threw at him in this moment. He didn't know. But what he did know was that he was no longer going to lay down and be the mat she walked all over.
"I am twice the man Jason is!" Eric finally screamed back at her. "Don't you ever, ever, throw my age up in my face like that ever again, because, honestly, dealing with you has been enough to make me feel like I've lived a million fucking years! Through your...your fucking psychotic episodes and the nightmares and the constant running away and not being able to make up your mind about anything, I have been there, happily, every step of the god damned way! I have cared for you and been there for you and even after this crazy, psychotic episode, I still want to be here! But you won't let me! And that's not my fault! You think Jason's gonna deal with that? Huh? You think after he finds out who you really are, he's gonna stick around? Because, I'll tell you, it's no wonder your dead husband smacked you around a little bit, because you are crazy as hell!"
The second it flew out of his mouth, he was ready to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger. The room fell eerily quiet and Juliet tightened the sheet around her body and took a step away from him. The fear that filled her eyes was nothing like he'd ever seen before and his heart shattered so violently that tears sprang to his eyes. How could he fix the words he'd said to her? How could he remedy them? He couldn't. There was no way. Sure, she'd aired out some anger, but Eric had taken it way too far.
She blinked at him, her eyes wide, her jaw hanging open. He could see the frightened little girl in her, staring back at him as if he was the gruesome, snarling monster that hid in her closet.
Speechless, her eyes darted around the room before she staggered back onto the bed, sitting on the edge of it, and looking around her. Finally, she found the t-shirt she'd been wearing and pulled it over her head, letting the sheet fall off of her chest. Then, she straightened her spine, rested her hands carefully in her lap, and closed her eyes. Sucking in a deep breath, her body trembled. "Just...go ahead and do it," she said, her body trembling. "I can take it. Just do it now and get it out of your system. Because it will be the last time you ever come near me."
Eric looked on at her in horror, his stomach barely able to handle the sickening invitation. "What?" His throat released in a half whisper. "I don't--I don't want to hit you--"
Her eyes flashed open and she glared at him. "Do it," she urged. "Since you think I deserve it, I'm giving you your freebie."
Slowly, he shook his head, barely able to find the ability to breathe. "You don't deserve it. You never deserved it--"
Before he could see it coming, she flew across the room and began wailing on him uncontrollably. Through her teeth and her clenched fists, the words came out in garbled English. "Do it, god damn it, do it! Hit me! Do it! Prove me right! You’re not the man I thought you were! I don’t know you, you’re a stranger, and you’re just like all the rest of them, I thought you were different--!" The more she screamed, the less coherent she became. It was difficult to decipher anything she was saying and Eric didn't need to decipher any of it. Her actions and her emotions did the talking for her and Eric had never felt devastation like this in his entire life. For her to be this upset, this angry, this emotional, and in so much pain--and for him to be the cause of it--caused his face to grow hot and his nostrils to flare in anticipation of the tears that brimmed his eyes.
He allowed her to hit him. He allowed her to take her rage and her anger out on him and he wished she would do it all. Hurt him, damage him, break bones, draw blood, do it all. Do anything she wanted that would make her feel better. He didn't even deserve her grace now.
Unfortunately, there was only so much he could allow his face and his head to take before he had to put a stop to it. She had already ripped his shirt and he could feel whatever mark she had left on his cheek beginning to swell. His neck stung with her scratches and she was beginning to favor her fists more than her palms. It took him a few seconds to fight her flailing arms and when he was finally able to restrain her by wrapping his arms around her tightly and pressing her against his body, she collapsed into sobs against his chest. In the process, he shamelessly succumbed to his own tears, one arm wrapped around her body, his other arm cradling her head against him. "I'm so sorry," he whispered through his own tears. "I'm so sorry."
She didn't respond, she only wept, and for the second time that day, he scooped her up and carried her to bed. Leaning against the headboard, he draped her legs across his lap and he cradled her in his arms as she buried her head in his chest and clenched fistfuls of his shirt. "I'm so sorry," he repeated again. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean a single word I said. It was horrible and it was wrong and I never should have said it. You're my everything, Juliet. Did you know that? You're my entire world and I would never, ever, in this lifetime--or any lifetime--ever lay a hand on you. Ever. You are safe with me and all I want to do is take care of you. Okay? I only want to make you happy, that's the most important thing in the world to me. Please believe me. Please. I'm so sorry."
During his desperate pleading, she had calmed down and was now quietly sniffing her tears away. Suddenly, her small voice sounded from under his chin. "That's how it starts. The apologies. The tears. Like apologizing is going to make it okay. Except that it doesn't. It just provides an excuse for the hitting to be okay."
Eric's stomach churned with disgust and his head dizzied with regret and heartache as he sniffed his tears away. "Juliet, I would never,” his voice cracked. “You know that, this is me we're talking about."
"Then why would you say something so horrible?"
"It was nothing but words. I was angry and they came out--"
"They don't come out of nowhere. On some level you were thinking it." Finally, she sat up to look in his face, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "I don't ever want to see you again," she said quietly.
His eyes grew wide and he momentarily forgot how to breathe. Placing his hands gently on her face, he looked into her eyes and shook his head. "Baby, you don't mean that," he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "You don't mean that."
Pulling away once again, she looked him square in the eyes. "I do mean it. What I said--those were just words. I didn't mean them when I said them, I was just upset. But what you said--that was unforgiveable. And I don't trust you, not anymore. And I refuse to live my life that way. I was better off when I controlled my life--when I didn't have to live with the fear of the back of a man's hand. You are the one man--the only man--on this planet who knows who I am. You're the only one who knows anything. You're the only one I gave my trust to, opened up to, let you in--and now that's broken. And I am broken. And I don't think I can come back from this."
"I can't leave," he whispered. "I can't make myself do it." He reached his hand out to brush it gently across her cheek. "Tell me what to do. I'll do anything--anything it takes to make this right. But please don't give up on me. I need you. You're the light in my life and the reason I wake up and breathe every morning."
"I don't think anything can make this right. I can't live with knowing that sympathizing with that monster crossed your mind. Even if it did just once, it'll cross your mind again."
"Juliet, I can't live with myself knowing what I said to you. I can't. And I can't live without you, either, I just--let's just talk about this. Take it slow, one day at a time--"
"I need more time than that. I need--" She paused and she looked around, her eyes filling with tears once more. "I need to find a way to trust you again. And I don't know how to do that."
Eric could do no more than look on in horror as she climbed off the bed and pulled her pants on. Sniffing, she wiped her nose and her eyes with her palm and then she shuffled to her bedroom door. Hesitantly, and without a word, he stood from the bed, scooped his coat up off the floor, and followed her out of the room.
She’d made it to the front door before he had. She was unlocking it as he approached. To look at her face weakened his knees. She was red in the face, her eyes bloodshot and wet with her tears. Tears he’d caused, tears of distrust and betrayal. If he walked out that door, he didn’t know what would become of him.
“Juliet,” he whispered amidst the threat of more tears. “Don’t let me go.”
She opened the door and she crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes darted around, she refused—or she couldn’t bring herself—to look him in the eye. She never responded, she just stood there.
Hanging his head, he stepped over the threshold, out into the hallway, and he turned around. “Jules.” His lip quivered and the tears brimmed his eyes once more. He swallowed the painful lump that plagued his throat. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You changed my life. You’re my everything. You’re my Juliet.”
Finally, she looked up at him, her own tears reddening her eyes again. Sniffing, she gripped the side of the door. “Please don’t ever contact me again. Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t send me notes. Further business will be conducted with Beth. I can’t even see you occupationally.”
“Babe, no,” he squeaked out. “Please. Don’t shut me out. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too. Please respect me this time.”
“Jules—“
“Goodbye, Eric.”
The next thing he saw was the dark, hard wood of her door as it closed in his face.
Friday night had been fun.
Juliet had, indeed, checked her shitty attitude at the door when Jason and Noah picked her up from her condo. They’d spent the night on 42nd Street, bouncing from Pepperoni Palace to Dave and Buster’s. The crowd at the arcade was nearly unbearable, but the skeeball showdown between Juliet and Noah kept Jason entertained for longer than he imagined it would. It was a rare occasion that Noah could keep his attention focused on one activity for any lengthy amount of time, but every time Juliet got a high score, Noah’s determination and excitement only grew. By the end of the night, after a collection of tickets that Jason was almost embarrassed to admit had accumulated between the three of them, Noah had walked out the door with a plush superhero after nearly losing his mind and going into convulsions over the possibility of winning a video game system. Jason had had to switch into dad mode and inform the bouncy child that nobody in real life had that kind of time and then had to go over the importance of making do with what you had—or else. From that point on, Noah was overly, elaborately excited about his default prize choice and Jason was grinning in sweet triumph.
But what also caused Jason to grin were the endless smiles and laughter that came from Juliet. Her guard wasn’t completely down that night as he could see the constant tension in her eyes. But she let it down enough for Noah not to detect anything and given the current circumstances, that was all that really mattered. It was one of the best nights Jason had had in quite a long time and, if even for a few hours, it was like having the old Juliet back again. The entire evening was almost perfect.
Jason wasn’t ready to let go of that quiet yet.
On Sunday, Clara had invited Noah to attend church with her and her grandchildren. Afterward there was some type of Christmas party being held for the kids and Jason decided that a little religion and extra social interaction couldn’t hurt the kid. Plus he couldn’t seem to pass up the effects of punch and cookies on somebody’s watch that wasn’t his. So he was more than happy to send Noah out the door.
But now Jason had a rare few hours of free time on his hands that he intended on taking full advantage of. So he began by showing up on Juliet’s doorstep unannounced, an action that caused his palms to break out in an instant sweat.
She opened the door, donning a fresh face and pajama pants and Jason couldn’t resist the smile. “Jason,” she breathed in surprise. “Hey. Did you see Beth on your way in?”
He narrowed his eyes, confused. “Huh?”
She smiled as she stood out of the way to let him in. “I mean you just missed her. Literally minutes ago. We have breakfast together on Sundays.”
“Ah,” he nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets and stepping over the threshold. “Nah, didn’t see her.”
His eyes wandered around the apartment as she shut the door behind him. He realized now that he’d never been to her place before, not since before he’d skipped town so many years ago, and it dawned on him that he wasn’t sure what to expect. He wasn’t sure he expected the antiques and the open space. On the outside she seemed to be such a strong, modern woman, but inside her apartment it was like she lived in a completely different world. She had obviously intended it that way and, once again, he wondered what secrets she harbored. Did she have secrets? And were they actually secrets or seven years’ worth of ground they hadn’t covered, yet? The truth was, she was a lot more closed-off than she seemed to be all that time ago. But then everybody changed over time, didn’t they?
He didn’t want to focus on that, though. He wanted to spend more fun, carefree time with her. “So I came by to see if you wanted to get a little…physical,” he said, arching his eyebrows playfully at her.
She took a step backward and gaped at him in shock. He struggled to keep the laugh from escaping his throat. “Jason!” She scolded. “We’ve been over this—“
“At the gym,” he finished. Then he allowed himself to chuckle. “You should have seen your face. Priceless.”
Her face turned red and her eyes darted around uncomfortably. “Well, you…you caught me off guard…”
“I know. It was great.”
“So, um…where’s Noah?”
“Church with Clara. I found myself with a few hours to kill. Nice place, by the way. Design it yourself?”
Finally, she smiled. “Of course I did.”
He winked at her. “Feels cozy.”
Looking around, her face fell. “It did,” she replied listlessly. “I’m thinking about moving. Or making some changes. I don’t know yet.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “Memories I should have never created. I’m a real out of sight, out of mind type of person. Or at least I used to be. I don’t really know much about anything anymore.”
“Jules,” he narrowed his eyes. “You keep saying shit like this—“
“So you wanted me to go to the gym with you?”
Her interruption caught him off guard and his mouth hung open. “Uh, yeah, sure. If you’re up to it.”
She smiled. “Wait here. I’ll just go change.”
Just like that. It was that easy. And within five minutes she bounded out of her bedroom in workout gear and a winter coat. “Ready if you are,” she smiled.
Try as he might, Jason had a hard time shoving the uneasy feeling in his stomach aside. “I’m ready,” he nodded.
And then she locked up her apartment and they were on their way.
* * *
Being in the gym with Juliet Carson was an experience Jason had never experienced before. It was something else entirely. The struggle between adrenaline, lust, and the desire to break bones was increasingly difficult to keep in check. To begin with, her ass was life-changing in the gray workout leggings she wore and, despite the modest, white tee shirt that fell just below her hips, watching her squat was quite literally the subject of every male’s dreams within a floor length’s radius of her. She wasn’t the only woman in the gym, by a long shot, but Jason had the hunch that it was her unwelcome notoriety on top of her insane body that was garnering a good amount of the looks that were directed at her. While Jason felt like snapping the neck of every pair of eyes that trailed down her body, Juliet seemed absolutely oblivious to her surroundings as she demanded of him, “My turn. Count for me.”
In a completely platonic way, the few times Jason was actually able to focus on his workout, she was a great little workout partner. She kept her eye on the prize and her head in the game, arguably much better than Jason did, and she pushed harder than most personal trainers he’d worked with. He even made the comment to her as he completed a set of curls, “You sure you weren’t a trainer in another life? Because you’re a natural at it.”
“I don’t come here to play,” she smiled. “I come here to get shit done.”
“You come here on a regular basis?”
“Well, no, not here. I have another one that I frequent and I do some climbing, too. I love climbing.”
“No shit?” Jason grinned. “I love climbing, too. We should go next time.”
Her face fell and she looked distant all of a sudden. “Maybe,” she muttered. “I haven’t been in awhile. I think it’s my turn, though. Count for me?”
Jason nodded as he watched her pick up her dumbbell and position herself in front of the mirror they shared. Distractedly, unable to take his mind off of her change in demeanor, he looked around to get his bearings back when his eyes landed on a set of familiar blue eyes that stared back at him.
Examining the blonde guy on the bench across the weight room, Jason narrowed his eyes. Blondie’s eyes lingered in their direction for another moment or two before he lay back down and reached up for the bar to start another set. What the fuck had just happened? Had the two of them just shared a moment? Had Blondie been…sizing Jason up?
Sizing Jason up. That was a laugh. Jason could have so easily snapped that little fucker like a twig. Except that…the familiarity was too bothersome. He looked an awful lot like Beth’s boyfriend, Travis. Too much like him. And while the guy was a good ways away from him, and maybe Jason was getting up there in years at the tender age of thirty-five, but he knew his eyesight couldn’t have been that bad. It was all he could do not to grab up his phone and text Beth right then, except…shit! His phone was in his locker.
“Jason!” Juliet scolded, pulling him out of his trance and causing him to whirl back around. “Are you even counting?”
“Uh, yeah,” he said, watching her lay her dumbbell down on the floor. “Yeah, that was ten.”
“It was seventeen. And now you get to do seventeen for being so neglectful.”
Shaking his head and smiling, he was able to forget about Blondie for the time being. He took his punishment like a champ and then he threw in an extra three reps just to show her that she couldn’t break him so easily. At that, she crossed her arms over her chest and she huffed and decided that she was ready for another set of squats and that he better do his job this time. Gladly. Gladly he would, definitely. Except…
Except that Blondie’s eyes were at it again. Jason could feel it and he turned around and caught him again. Except that Blondie’s eyes were so focused on Juliet that he didn’t even notice Jason staring him down. Sure, the other men in the gym were frequently glancing in Juliet’s direction, but glancing was all they’d dared to do once they locked eyes with Jason. This guy, though. This guy was something else. One more time with this and Jason was going to have to show the guy whose woman he was fucking with.
Two giant steps to the left effectively blocked Blondie’s line of vision and Jason intended to keep it that way. He wouldn’t get his rocks off like this today, not on Jason’s watch. These places should do background checks or some shit and keep creepy shitheads like that guy out of there. Even Jason was growing uncomfortable and he didn’t really want to show his ass in front of Juliet. That wasn’t to say he was above it, however.
Finally, Juliet dropped her bar and wiped her brow with the back of her forearm. “Okay,” she breathed. “Where to now?”
“I think we’ve had enough for the day,” Jason replied.
“What?” She smiled. She would never know how sexy she looked with her face glistening with sweat the way it did. “We’re just getting started.”
Jason chuckled. “Easy there, Rocky. We’ve been here for, like, an hour and a half. I figure we have just enough time for a post-workout snack before I have to retrieve the kid.”
Juliet nodded in understanding. “Gotcha. Say no more. Man, I’m gonna feel this in the morning.”
Jason grinned as he threw his arm around her shoulder, careful to pin her next to his body and out of Blondie’s line of vision. As they walked toward the locker rooms, Jason turned his neck around and glared at the blue eyes that sat on the bench watching them walk away. Except this time, the blue eyes glared back at Jason. Now it was personal.
“Hey, you know what?” Jason said to Juliet as they reached the locker room doors. “I think I left my water bottle back there. I’ll meet you out front, okay?”
“Okay,” Juliet nodded obliviously before disappearing into the women’s room.
Turning around, Jason clasped his hands together and cracked his knuckles before he retraced his steps and then veered off to the left in a deliberate detour.
Walking up on Blondie, who was now in the middle of another set of presses, closer observance of him told Jason that it was Travis. His hair was different, but he supposed the guy was due a haircut soon, anyway. Walking around the bench, he stood over the head of it and lifted the bar out of Blondie’s hands mid-rep and rested it on the rack. Jason nearly scoffed at the light weight as he leaned his forearms on the bar and lowered his head to address the guy below him.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re trying to pull,” Jason murmured darkly. “But don’t you know that it’s impolite to stare? Especially in the gym? And especially at another man’s girl?”
Travis glared back up at him. “Excuse me? Another man’s girl? You wanna back up and try that again?”
“No,” Jason shook his head. “No, I really don’t. You got a lot of balls, you know that? Now I’m a nice guy, okay? So I’m gonna let you slide this time—this one time. But if this ever happens again, if it ever happens again in this much too large of a city, you’re gonna regret the day you ever laid eyes on her. Are we understood?”
Astonishingly, Jason thought he detected a smirk in Travis’s blue eyes. This guy had balls, indeed. He was practically asking for it. “Believe what you want. Beat me to a bloody pulp, I don’t give a shit. But you’ll never win this. You’re in for a rude awakening, friend. You haven’t seen the last of me. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m in the middle of a workout. And you were…leaving? Have a nice day. Good talk.”
Jason seethed, but he couldn’t cause a scene. Not in his favorite gym, not where Juliet was under the same roof. So he had to let it go. And he had to pray that the next time he saw this asshole, the two of them would be alone.
In the meantime, he had to decide how and what he was going to say to Beth.
ERIC HAD GONE to the gym to blow off steam. He’d grown tired of wallowing in self-pity and he longed to feel human again. Saturday had been the longest day of his life. Juliet had never texted him back, she never called, and he couldn’t help but accept that he deserved it. He’d spent his Saturday in his pajamas, avoiding Travis’s and Terrell’s phone calls, and stared mindlessly up at his TV screen. He didn’t even know what he was watching and he didn’t care. By the time he’d woken up Sunday morning after a sleepless night, he decided he was done with the bullshit. He was stronger than this. The moping wasn’t getting him anywhere. So he decided to rejoin society and start at the gym.
The workout had been just what he needed until he sat up from a set of bench presses and saw Juliet across the gym. His heart lurched up into his throat and he couldn’t believe his good fortune. He’d been working up the nerve to walk over and approach her when the guy that was with her turned around and spotted him. And then Eric’s heart immediately sank down into his stomach and the showdown was on.
So she was with him again. With Jason. Twice in the same weekend. Truthfully, Eric wasn’t sure he had even wanted to know about the first outing to begin with. But seeing date number two with his own eyes was a new kind of pain. A new kind of pain, a new kind of anger…a new feeling altogether. Concentrating on his workout had flown right out the window.
Juliet had never seen him. She’d never even glanced in that direction. And the Hawaiian made sure of it, too. Did he know who he was? Had Juliet told him about Eric, had she shown him pictures, had she cried on his shoulder and described the way Eric had turned tail and left her? No. He knew Juliet wouldn’t have thrown him under the bus that way. But, still. Why was Jason so interested in him all of a sudden?
It was when Jason approached him that Eric’s anger had fully risen to the surface. He didn’t care how big and tall Jason was. With the amount of adrenaline that was pumping through Eric’s veins in that moment, he could have put the big guy on the floor in the blink of an eye. He was proud of himself for keeping his composure, though, seeing as he sure didn’t want to follow in Travis’s footsteps and land himself behind bars. But he was serious when he’d told Jason that he wouldn’t win, that he hadn’t seen the last of Eric. Because he hadn’t. Because Juliet belonged to him, not to that Hawaiian asshole.
And now, with a newfound fresh dose of anger and adrenaline, he marched right into Juliet’s building, up to her door, and he pounded on it, ready to assert his dominance to her. He would show her. He would teach her what it was like to play someone’s emotions like a stringed instrument.
When Juliet opened her door, the bright smile that she wore on her face quickly faded and her eyes grew wide with surprise. Eric arched an eyebrow as he braced himself against the doorway with both hands. "Expecting someone else?"
She blinked her surprise away and stepped back a step or two, allowing Eric to enter the apartment. She was silent and Eric was okay with that. If she spoke, it would only fuel his rage.
"Have a good workout today?" He asked her.
Her eyes darted around nervously. "Um," she sputtered. "I, um, well...yeah, I went to the gym."
"Alone?"
"No..."
"I know you weren't alone. Was just wondering how long you were going to hide him from me."
She furrowed her brow at him and looked him over. "I'm not hiding anything from anyone."
"Oh. So you're trying to parade the burly Hawaiian around in front of me. What kind of game are you playing here, anyway?"
"What in the hell are you talking about?" She spat at him. "Are you stalking me again? Were you at the gym?"
"Mere coincidence this time, sweetheart, don't flatter yourself. I'm surprised you didn't see me, though. He saw me. As a matter of fact, he couldn't keep his eyes off of me. What did you tell him?"
"I didn't tell him anything," she said quietly. "As a matter of fact, he doesn't know you exist--"
"Oh. Well. That’s comforting," he muttered sarcastically.
Juliet glared at him, her voice rising. "So if you were spending your workout staring me down, that is probably why he couldn't stop looking at you."
Eric's eyes hardened at her, hating to admit that she probably had a point. Instead he shoved his hands in his pockets. "It's a little disconcerting, I have to admit. The way you just dropped me like a bad habit and then turned around and picked up a new one. I'm human, you know. I have feelings. And being screwed over like that really kinda hurts."
"I didn't screw you over," Juliet sneered. "If I remember correctly, you screwed me over--"
"No!" Eric replied, hearing his own voice rise in volume. "I did not screw you over! You’re the one who quit, you’re the one who gave up! You’re the one who threw me to the wolves! And now you're out there dating another man? What the fuck am I supposed to think, Juliet? I mean, is it me? Is there something wrong with me? Did caring about you and being there for you and--and allowing to you to be exactly the person you wanted to be, was that--was that not good enough? What's he got that I don't have?"
"How do you know the person I want to be?" She asked meekly.
"Because I know who you don’t want to be and I know who you are. Does he know that? Is he the one talking to you at three in the morning after a nightmare, or--or watching your favorite sappy movies with you or...or showing you his view of the city? I mean, does he have a bigger ego, a bigger window, a bigger dick, what--?"
"He doesn’t know me!" She finally yelled, her eyes squeezed shut and her fists clenched by her sides. "Okay? He doesn't know me. He's an old friend from years ago, and he and Beth and I were very close. But he--he doesn't know. He doesn't know anything and that is why I like spending time with him. Because he doesn't know, I don't have to think about it--"
"So you're lying to him. You've lied to him for how many years now? Is that what I'm hearing?"
"It's none of your business."
Suddenly, he let his body act for him and he closed the gap between the two of them, wrapping his arms around her waist and jerking her body tight against his. As a reflex, he assumed, her arms slid around his neck and he glared hard into her eyes. "Everything about you is my business. All of it, it has been since day one." Being so close to her, having her in his arms, was enough to make his entire body tremble. It trembled with emotion, it trembled with desire, and it trembled with the struggle to keep his cool instead of melting the way he wanted to. "Are you sleeping with him?" He asked her.
"It's not like that--"
"I don't give a shit what it's like, I asked you if you were sleeping with him."
She blinked at him and she shook her head slowly. "No," she whispered.
"I didn't think so," he murmured before crashing his lips into hers, shoving his tongue into her mouth with a hunger that almost couldn't be satiated. He felt her clawing at his collar in desperation, pulling on his shirt, running her fingers through his hair, any way she could touch him, she did, and it felt like heaven.
It was euphoria before she finally released her lock on his lips and she looked up at him, breathless. "I miss you," she whispered, taking his face in her hands. "I miss you so much. Please. Take me to bed. I'll beg you for it, I'll do anything."
There was no need for any of that. Scooping her up off her feet, her mouth devoured his neck and his ear as he carried her to her bedroom. Once on the bed, she rose to her knees and nearly tore his shirt off of him, her savage desire for him so flattering, it was difficult for him not to lose himself in it.
Her hands and her lips trailed eagerly down his torso before her fingers jerked the button of his pants open. Swiftly she pulled down the zipper and shoved her hand into his pants, her fingers closing firmly around him. His head fell back at her touch, his desire for her relentless. His longing for her would never end, and he knew it, and he savored every second now, every fleeting moment he could get with her, as they were becoming more far and few between.
She withdrew her hand and now used both of them to yank his pants and his boxer briefs down over his hips. He bent over long enough to kick off his shoes and remove his socks, and then shoved his pants across the floor and out of the way. He stood before her now, at full attention, and watched her eyes drink him in.
Her hand wrapped around him again, the skin-to-skin contact driving him instantly insane, and she rose on her knees and pressed her lips to his neck. “Eric,” her breath trailed up to his ear. “You’re so sexy. You don’t know what you do to me.”
Testing her, he slid his fingers between her legs and she wasn’t kidding. He could feel her wetness through the flimsy material of the pants she wore and he shivered with excitement. “You’re ready for me,” he whispered back. “Fuck.”
“I’m always ready for you.”
He peeled her pants off of her with such force he thought he might tear them off of her. She shed her own shirt and when she was naked in front of him, he finally wrapped his arms around her and pressed her body against his. Her body was his. The curve of her waist, the swell of her breasts, the ass that he could bounce a quarter off of—that perfection was his. And she didn’t hesitate to let him know it. With her in his arms, the blood of a conqueror coursed through his veins.
This was where he wanted her. He wanted her to want him. He wanted her to need him, he wanted her to desire him. He wanted her to know that there was no other man in the world who was better for her than him. Now was the time to show her that. Now was the time to prove it.
Lifting her off the bed, he wrapped her legs around him as he lowered her down onto her back. She no longer flinched, she no longer hesitated, she now gave into him fully, trusting him to safely carry her into the throes of ecstasy the way he did every single time.
Underneath him, she arched her back and gripped the sheets next to her, and she spread her legs wider, inviting him in for more, anxiously rolling her hips into him in perfect rhythm. The way she wanted him, the way she needed him was intoxicating, and he tangled his fingers in her hair as he claimed her mouth, bucking his hips harder and harder into her.
She whimpered into his mouth and her body began to shake underneath him. Her warmth and her wetness as she tightened around him was almost more than he could handle. She felt so good that he never wanted to stop. Releasing her mouth, he lifted his head and purposely stared down into her eyes as he made love to her. Her jaw was slack and her breath was ragged as she stared back up at him. “Juliet,” he whispered breathlessly. “God, you feel so fucking good.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and pulled him close to her. “Don’t stop,” she whispered. “Don’t ever let me go.”
Burying his face in her hair, he moaned loudly as he came, coming arguably harder than he ever had before. He lay there for a moment, letting his breath calm, vividly aware of the way Juliet’s lips trailed his ear and his neck as her hands ran over the clammy skin on his back. He’d broken a sweat and it was a better workout he would have ever gotten in the gym, hands down.
Oh, right. The gym.
Rolling off of her, Eric collapsed onto the bed and let out a breath as he stared up at the ceiling. Juliet, apparently, wasn't finished with him yet, so she straddled him and littered his skin with soft, sensual kisses.
The way her body felt, laying across his own body, sent chills throughout him and he caught himself reacting to her by gripping her hips gently as they rocked over top of his.
"Eric," she whispered as her lips trailed his jaw. "You're the most incredible man I've ever met and I miss you." Finally, she relaxed her body and rested her head in the crook of his neck and let her fingers trail along his carved-out torso. "I miss you so much it hurts sometimes. I'm so sorry that I didn’t tell you about therapy. I don't want to keep secrets from you, I don't want to make you feel like--"
"Juliet," he said quietly in an effort to silence her. The way she wanted him was intoxicating and addictive, but his heart pounded out of fury after the visual of her laughing and carrying on with the Hawaiian mammoth crept back into his mind.
"Stay with me," she whispered. "Don't ever leave. I want us to be together, I want...I hope you can forgive me for my momentary lapse in judgment. We belong together. And I didn't realize that until--"
"Until what?" He suddenly spat, finally finding a moment of clarity. "Until we fucked?"
She jerked her head up and stared down at him, wide-eyed. "What? No--"
He couldn't bear to let her finish. Instead, she dismounted him as he wriggled himself out from underneath her and slid out of her bed. She could have told him sooner that she missed him. She could have asked him to dinner, called or texted him, shown up at his place...not decided she wanted him after he'd just fucked her brains out. Everything about that just felt wrong. And insincere.
Her jaw dropped as he got out of the bed and started pulling his pants back on. "Where--where are you going? You're not leaving are you?"
"Yeah," he said, scooping his shirt up off the floor. "I gotta go."
"No," she shook her head slowly. "No, stay. Stay here with me, don't leave me."
"Stay? For what?" He asked as he adjusted his clothes. "Long enough to get comfortable so you can ditch me again? That's all you've ever done is ditch me. You build me up, make me feel like we have something, and then boom! You're gone. Leaving me in the dust. Well, how's it feel, princess? Huh? How's it feel now?"
Her jaw dropped in absolute devastation and his heart nearly broke at the sight. The truth was, he didn't really know what he was doing in that moment. He should stop now, retrace his steps—remember the way that she said she missed him and she wanted him and that she wanted them to be together. She wanted it, she’d said it. He almost wasn't familiar with the voice or the words that were even leaving his mouth and he couldn’t seem to stop them.
As if reading his mind, Juliet shook her head, bunching up the sheet around her chest. "This isn't you," she whispered. "This isn't--this is wrong. What did you even come here for?"
He flashed a smirk at her as he shoved his feet into his shoes. "I got what I came here for, baby. Now I gotta jet."
"You...bastard," she finally managed to breathe out, her face beginning to turn a familiar shade of red. "How could you...how could you be so...so heartless? So rude...?"
"You tell me, sweetheart. You tell me."
"So you just...you came over here to--to humiliate me and then leave? Who the fuck are you, Eric? Where the fuck did you go? Maybe it's a good thing you did walk out on me when you did, because if this is the dick that you are, I don't want you anyway! I can't believe I was this wrong about you. I can't believe that I cared that much about you, that I went against everything I believed in, against everything--"
"Oh, save it, Juliet. You never gave a single shit about me, not in any given moment. Why don't you save your sob story for your barbarian boyfriend--?"
"He is not my boyfriend, god damn it! He is just a friend, nothing more! I am single! Single, god damn it! Fucking single! Fuck you!"
Well. Shit. He'd come over here, swinging his dick around, ready to take back his woman and get revenge...but on what? He'd been wrong about the boyfriend, so what? But he wasn't wrong about her hanging him out like a wet rag. He was not wrong about that.
Except that she was already burning hot and coming out of the bed with the sheet wrapped around her body, raring to go. "I hate you," she spat at him through her teeth. "Maybe I quit therapy because I'm smart. Maybe I knew you would leave me, maybe I saw this coming. Maybe I saw that you were going to turn into nothing but a lowlife scumbag just like the rest of them! Except you played me. You played me so well, I didn't even realize it was happening! You played everything, this entire thing was a game to you--"
"Okay," he tried to reason quietly, beginning to regret his stupid little revenge trip. "Let's take a step back, I think we've both said some things--"
"You step the fuck away from me, that’s where you'll step! You played me until I cared, until I trusted, until I opened up, until--even until right now! You know what Jason has that you don't? You really want to know? Jason is real! He knows who he is and he knows what he wants and he doesn't play stupid, childish, immature, bratty games to get it! Maybe, one of these days, when you grow up, you might be half the man Jason is! Because if you were, I would have felt safe and secure enough to commit to you a long time ago, and you wouldn’t be standing here, screwing me over! You stupid, immature...child! I don't need this! I don't need you and I don't need Jason or Beth or Travis, I don’t need anybody! I never did!"
She screamed until her voice grew hoarse and nearly gave out. Eric could only stand there and listen to it. To the way she degraded him, one blow right after the other, hitting him everywhere it could possibly hurt and more. But she was wrong about him. Despite her hurt feelings and her anger and her rage, she was wrong. Every single bit of it was wrong and the kicker was that she knew she was wrong. Nobody knew Eric the way Juliet did. Maybe he deserved the daggers she threw at him in this moment. He didn't know. But what he did know was that he was no longer going to lay down and be the mat she walked all over.
"I am twice the man Jason is!" Eric finally screamed back at her. "Don't you ever, ever, throw my age up in my face like that ever again, because, honestly, dealing with you has been enough to make me feel like I've lived a million fucking years! Through your...your fucking psychotic episodes and the nightmares and the constant running away and not being able to make up your mind about anything, I have been there, happily, every step of the god damned way! I have cared for you and been there for you and even after this crazy, psychotic episode, I still want to be here! But you won't let me! And that's not my fault! You think Jason's gonna deal with that? Huh? You think after he finds out who you really are, he's gonna stick around? Because, I'll tell you, it's no wonder your dead husband smacked you around a little bit, because you are crazy as hell!"
The second it flew out of his mouth, he was ready to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger. The room fell eerily quiet and Juliet tightened the sheet around her body and took a step away from him. The fear that filled her eyes was nothing like he'd ever seen before and his heart shattered so violently that tears sprang to his eyes. How could he fix the words he'd said to her? How could he remedy them? He couldn't. There was no way. Sure, she'd aired out some anger, but Eric had taken it way too far.
She blinked at him, her eyes wide, her jaw hanging open. He could see the frightened little girl in her, staring back at him as if he was the gruesome, snarling monster that hid in her closet.
Speechless, her eyes darted around the room before she staggered back onto the bed, sitting on the edge of it, and looking around her. Finally, she found the t-shirt she'd been wearing and pulled it over her head, letting the sheet fall off of her chest. Then, she straightened her spine, rested her hands carefully in her lap, and closed her eyes. Sucking in a deep breath, her body trembled. "Just...go ahead and do it," she said, her body trembling. "I can take it. Just do it now and get it out of your system. Because it will be the last time you ever come near me."
Eric looked on at her in horror, his stomach barely able to handle the sickening invitation. "What?" His throat released in a half whisper. "I don't--I don't want to hit you--"
Her eyes flashed open and she glared at him. "Do it," she urged. "Since you think I deserve it, I'm giving you your freebie."
Slowly, he shook his head, barely able to find the ability to breathe. "You don't deserve it. You never deserved it--"
Before he could see it coming, she flew across the room and began wailing on him uncontrollably. Through her teeth and her clenched fists, the words came out in garbled English. "Do it, god damn it, do it! Hit me! Do it! Prove me right! You’re not the man I thought you were! I don’t know you, you’re a stranger, and you’re just like all the rest of them, I thought you were different--!" The more she screamed, the less coherent she became. It was difficult to decipher anything she was saying and Eric didn't need to decipher any of it. Her actions and her emotions did the talking for her and Eric had never felt devastation like this in his entire life. For her to be this upset, this angry, this emotional, and in so much pain--and for him to be the cause of it--caused his face to grow hot and his nostrils to flare in anticipation of the tears that brimmed his eyes.
He allowed her to hit him. He allowed her to take her rage and her anger out on him and he wished she would do it all. Hurt him, damage him, break bones, draw blood, do it all. Do anything she wanted that would make her feel better. He didn't even deserve her grace now.
Unfortunately, there was only so much he could allow his face and his head to take before he had to put a stop to it. She had already ripped his shirt and he could feel whatever mark she had left on his cheek beginning to swell. His neck stung with her scratches and she was beginning to favor her fists more than her palms. It took him a few seconds to fight her flailing arms and when he was finally able to restrain her by wrapping his arms around her tightly and pressing her against his body, she collapsed into sobs against his chest. In the process, he shamelessly succumbed to his own tears, one arm wrapped around her body, his other arm cradling her head against him. "I'm so sorry," he whispered through his own tears. "I'm so sorry."
She didn't respond, she only wept, and for the second time that day, he scooped her up and carried her to bed. Leaning against the headboard, he draped her legs across his lap and he cradled her in his arms as she buried her head in his chest and clenched fistfuls of his shirt. "I'm so sorry," he repeated again. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean a single word I said. It was horrible and it was wrong and I never should have said it. You're my everything, Juliet. Did you know that? You're my entire world and I would never, ever, in this lifetime--or any lifetime--ever lay a hand on you. Ever. You are safe with me and all I want to do is take care of you. Okay? I only want to make you happy, that's the most important thing in the world to me. Please believe me. Please. I'm so sorry."
During his desperate pleading, she had calmed down and was now quietly sniffing her tears away. Suddenly, her small voice sounded from under his chin. "That's how it starts. The apologies. The tears. Like apologizing is going to make it okay. Except that it doesn't. It just provides an excuse for the hitting to be okay."
Eric's stomach churned with disgust and his head dizzied with regret and heartache as he sniffed his tears away. "Juliet, I would never,” his voice cracked. “You know that, this is me we're talking about."
"Then why would you say something so horrible?"
"It was nothing but words. I was angry and they came out--"
"They don't come out of nowhere. On some level you were thinking it." Finally, she sat up to look in his face, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "I don't ever want to see you again," she said quietly.
His eyes grew wide and he momentarily forgot how to breathe. Placing his hands gently on her face, he looked into her eyes and shook his head. "Baby, you don't mean that," he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "You don't mean that."
Pulling away once again, she looked him square in the eyes. "I do mean it. What I said--those were just words. I didn't mean them when I said them, I was just upset. But what you said--that was unforgiveable. And I don't trust you, not anymore. And I refuse to live my life that way. I was better off when I controlled my life--when I didn't have to live with the fear of the back of a man's hand. You are the one man--the only man--on this planet who knows who I am. You're the only one who knows anything. You're the only one I gave my trust to, opened up to, let you in--and now that's broken. And I am broken. And I don't think I can come back from this."
"I can't leave," he whispered. "I can't make myself do it." He reached his hand out to brush it gently across her cheek. "Tell me what to do. I'll do anything--anything it takes to make this right. But please don't give up on me. I need you. You're the light in my life and the reason I wake up and breathe every morning."
"I don't think anything can make this right. I can't live with knowing that sympathizing with that monster crossed your mind. Even if it did just once, it'll cross your mind again."
"Juliet, I can't live with myself knowing what I said to you. I can't. And I can't live without you, either, I just--let's just talk about this. Take it slow, one day at a time--"
"I need more time than that. I need--" She paused and she looked around, her eyes filling with tears once more. "I need to find a way to trust you again. And I don't know how to do that."
Eric could do no more than look on in horror as she climbed off the bed and pulled her pants on. Sniffing, she wiped her nose and her eyes with her palm and then she shuffled to her bedroom door. Hesitantly, and without a word, he stood from the bed, scooped his coat up off the floor, and followed her out of the room.
She’d made it to the front door before he had. She was unlocking it as he approached. To look at her face weakened his knees. She was red in the face, her eyes bloodshot and wet with her tears. Tears he’d caused, tears of distrust and betrayal. If he walked out that door, he didn’t know what would become of him.
“Juliet,” he whispered amidst the threat of more tears. “Don’t let me go.”
She opened the door and she crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes darted around, she refused—or she couldn’t bring herself—to look him in the eye. She never responded, she just stood there.
Hanging his head, he stepped over the threshold, out into the hallway, and he turned around. “Jules.” His lip quivered and the tears brimmed his eyes once more. He swallowed the painful lump that plagued his throat. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You changed my life. You’re my everything. You’re my Juliet.”
Finally, she looked up at him, her own tears reddening her eyes again. Sniffing, she gripped the side of the door. “Please don’t ever contact me again. Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t send me notes. Further business will be conducted with Beth. I can’t even see you occupationally.”
“Babe, no,” he squeaked out. “Please. Don’t shut me out. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too. Please respect me this time.”
“Jules—“
“Goodbye, Eric.”
The next thing he saw was the dark, hard wood of her door as it closed in his face.