THE SUPPORT SYSTEM
The nightmares wouldn’t seem to quit.
Juliet had to find some peace somehow. Actually, no. She knew how to find peace—it lie in the form of blonde hair, blue eyes, and warm, safe, strong arms. Every night, as she sat in her kitchen window sill, puffing on her cigarette, she longed to be wrapped up in Eric’s arms. Safe in his arms she didn’t have the nightmares that resulted in the smoking. She never had to leave the bed in the middle of the night. She was lulled into a deep, dreamless sleep by the sound of his heartbeat and the feel of his breath on her face and it was everything she ever needed in life. So why did she continue to sit there alone?
Guilt. Complete and utter guilt. The dreams that had been plaguing her repeatedly starred none other than Dr. Leslie Thorne. In the dreams, various events took place. In one, Dr. Thorne urged Eric to run. “Run,” she’d said to him. “Run while you can. This may be your only opportunity!”
In another, Dr. Thorne informed Juliet, “This will never get better. Because you can’t get better, Eric is gone. You have to come and see me. I am the doctor and he is not.”
Juliet woke up in a cold sweat every time.
She hadn’t found the courage to tell Eric that she had quit therapy. She’d managed to dodge the question long enough to figure out how she was going to approach it, except that she never did. Nothing she could say would be good enough. She would just have to pray that he understood and would support her in her decision. She was afraid to let him down. She was afraid of his pity, afraid of the impending lecture, afraid of his disappointment in her. She knew in her heart of hearts that he would never judge her. But it didn’t make the fear any better.
So many times that week she had thought to call or text him. She needed to hear his voice, she needed his laugh, she needed to hear the way he called her ‘babe’ that made her smile until her cheeks hurt. Except that she was reminded of his conference calls in Japan and knew he was up late, working and sleeping crazy hours to fulfill his duties to them. No doubt he was doing a wonderful job keeping it together and he probably could have multitasked with her text messages, but she opted not to risk it. So instead of burdening him with her silly dreams, she chose to let him work and rest in peace.
However, by the time Friday rolled around, she felt like a zombie. Coffee wouldn’t even help her with the state of unrest she was in. Her only saving grace was the excitement of finally owning the building that they were now meeting about tearing down that morning.
When Eric walked in the door of the board room at Carson Innovations with the rest of his team, Juliet’s breath caught in her throat. He looked absolutely amazing his pristine black business suit and his red necktie. Red. He’d worn red. The irony nearly caused her to laugh. Juliet had chosen purple. Black pants and a purple sweater over a white button-down. For a meeting—or any workday, for that matter—it was a bit casual for Juliet’s norm, but she supposed that these guys wouldn’t mind a little Casual Friday. Except now they walked in, apparently meaning business.
Juliet was ready for it to be over.
Eric’s stature and his set jaw radiated power and the effect left Juliet tingling with excitement throughout her entire body. However, she’d caught her reflection in a mirror on the wall and halted in her tracks. She didn’t look near as sexy as her insides felt at the moment.
Jesus, she looked like death warmed over!
How had she not noticed the dark circles and her washed-out color when she was getting ready for work that morning? All it would take was one look from Eric and he would know—he would know everything she’d been through that week. He would scold her for not coming to him and wouldn’t even try to hear that she was trying to spare him. He may not have wanted to be spared, but he needed it whether he realized it or not.
“Sven,” she rushed quietly, hiding herself with the blonde Adonis’s form. “I need you to lead the meeting today.”
“What?” He replied, confused. “But you said that once we closed on the building that you would have complete—“
“I know what I said,” she hissed. “But look at me, I’m a hot mess!”
Sven narrowed his eyes and examined her. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but since you brought it up…”
“Thanks for your honesty,” she deadpanned.
“Jules,” he whispered. “Does this have to do with Eric in any way?”
She instantly broke a sweat and she froze for a moment. “Eric? Why? Why does it have to have anything to do with him?”
“Because you’re a horrible liar,” he grinned. “The entire company knows you have something going on with him.”
“It’s nobody’s business what I have going on with who!”
“Be that as it may, when a man is sending you multitudes of apology gifts and picking you up from work and causing you to grin like a gooney idiot every time his name is mentioned…the jig is pretty much up.” He followed his statement with a sympathetic nod.
Juliet grew flustered and she glared up at Sven. So everybody knew, huh? She was that obvious about it? Damn him. Damn Eric and her addiction to him. This was starting to affect her professional life which was the one thing she had wanted to avoid.
She lifted her chin in defiance and threw her shoulders back. “Well, then,” she huffed. “Maybe it’s about time you picked up some more responsibility around here, anyway.”
Sven gaped at her. “More responsib—are you kidding me? I’m the one who breaks my back for these projects! I’m the one who gets his hands dirty every day, dealing with the foremen, tromping through the mud—“
“Okay, okay, I get it. But you know this project, Sven. You probably know it better than I do! Just lead this meeting, just this once. Please? Look at me, even you agreed that I’m in no shape to do it.”
Narrowing his eyes warily, she detected the pout forming on his lips, but he nodded. “Fine. But only because you’re right, you do look like a hot mess.”
“Thank you,” she breathed. “I owe you one. I’ll get you and Marco a reservation at Cavalo’s.”
Sven’s eyes widened like a kid on Christmas. “You can do that?”
“Of course I can. I know the owner. Now, come on, let’s get started.”
Finding herself a seat beside Sven, she purposely landed herself on the same side of the table that Eric sat on. She breathed a sigh of relief as she buried herself in the paperwork underneath her head. There would be no looking across the table at each other, no impure thoughts, no winking, no silent flirting and, most importantly, no opportunities for Eric to study her. Get through the meeting, get back to the workday. That was the goal.
Now. If only she could keep her own eyes off of Eric…
ERIC SAT AT the conference table, his chin resting against his fingertips as the rest of both Juliet's and his own staff made their way out the door. Once the room had cleared out and it was just the two of them, Juliet turned around and faced him. She was aware, well aware, of his lingering presence.
The truth was, he didn't even know where to begin. He'd felt so many emotions in the past week that it was growing difficult to pin down exactly how he felt about anything. He hadn’t heard from her all week. Not since the night he had revealed his illness to her. The night he’d lain wrapped up in her arms and talked about everything for hours. He thought they had finally found a good place again. He thought that was the beginning of a stable relationship for them. But then she’d just…disappeared again. And now they'd spent nearly two hours sitting in a meeting together that Juliet had allowed Sven to take complete control of while she sat as far away from Eric as possible, careful to make sure that she was out of his line of vision. What had he done? Was there something he'd missed?
Finally, he stood from his chair, taking his briefcase in his hand, and adjusting his tie. Carefully, he approached her, with as much confidence as he could muster, until he was standing across from her in the doorway. Her eyes would always devastate him in the best possible way, nearly the color of dark cherry wood, lined with lashes so long that he was almost always reminded of a mysterious, elusive gypsy when he looked into them. Well...elusive was definitely the correct term, it seemed.
He cleared his throat as she swept her long locks off of her shoulder and looked up at him expectantly. "That was a good meeting, wasn't it?" He asked, fighting for an ice breaker.
She grinned at him, her smile bright, but she couldn't get the uncertainty in her eyes past him. "It was. I'm excited. I can't believe this is finally happening."
“Jules?” He asked gently. “What’s going on with you?”
She shook her head, her eyes darting around nervously. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.”
“Right,” he nodded. “You know you’re the most beautiful woman in the world to me, right? But honestly, you look like you’ve been through hell and back and I haven’t heard from you all week. ‘Everything’s fine’ isn’t quite the answer I was looking for.”
“I’m fine,” she repeated firmly. “And you…you worked late this week, you had your consulting—“
“Yeah, for two of those days.”
“Yeah?” She challenged. “Well, you didn’t call me, either. And you never fail to call. So I took that to mean that work was kicking your ass and I decided not to crowd you. Is that a crime?”
Eric opened his mouth to reply and then he closed it again. Well. She had a point. He hadn’t called. And he had been busy. So damn busy he could barely breathe. Jesus, had he found himself too busy for her? Never. That could never happen again.
So he cleared his throat and changed the subject. "How's, um...how's therapy going?"
He detected an immediate change in her demeanor, the tension rising like wildfire. She straightened her shoulders defensively. "I quit therapy."
Eric's jaw fell slack and he thought he was going to hit the floor. He fought to keep his knees strong as he stood there and looked at her, the devastation beating the hell out of him. "You--you quit therapy?"
"Yes," she replied, matter-of-factly. "I decided I don't need it. I've gotten by this long without it and I'm doing just fine. I don't--I don't need it. It's fine."
He furrowed his brow and leaned his head to the side, desperately fighting to grasp what was happening here. "But you didn't...you didn't even want to give it a chance?"
"I gave it a chance," she announced with forced confidence. "And I decided that it wasn't for me. Therapy is a joke, Eric. It's supposed to help you, but all it does is tear you down and make it worse. I don't need that in my life."
"Juliet," he pleaded in a near whisper, barely able to keep himself together now. "What about all the things you said? Was that...? I mean, did you...?"
He saw the realization flash across her face, but the moment was brief. She returned to feigning confidence, but the words still never found her lips.
"So you're giving up," he concluded. "You're giving up on therapy. You're giving up on yourself and, in turn, you're giving up on us."
"No," she finally whispered, shaking her head. "I'm not--"
"Everything you told me was a lie."
"It wasn’t."
"I know I promised you that I wouldn't feel led on, that you could—that you could do what you needed to do. But that's exactly what you did. That's all you ever did, was jerk me around. You don't care about me, Juliet. You never did."
"That is not true, how dare you?"
He couldn't stand there and look at her anymore. The pain he felt was a brand new pain he'd never felt before. It was worse than anything he'd ever felt before. And there was nothing else he could do but turn on his heel, dumbfounded, and leave her standing there.
"Eric!" She called after him. He could her hear heels clicking feverishly against the floor behind him. "Wait! Where are you going?"
He looked up just in time to watch Travis, who had been holding the elevator for him, dart himself inside, his arm still holding the doors. Once Eric stepped over the threshold and Travis released his arm, shards of glass flew through the small crack that was left as the doors closed. The sound of the shattering object was devastating on the other side of the elevator doors as Eric collapsed against the wall and sank to the floor at the sound of Juliet's muffled screaming. "You promised me that I would never be alone! You promised!”
Eric buried his face in his hands, his fingers pulling hard at his short hair. He could only hear Travis randomly hitting the elevator buttons, jamming it up, and sinking to the floor beside him. "Bro?" He asked quietly. "You wanna talk about it?"
"I think it's finally over," Eric whispered through gritted teeth. "There's nothing left to talk about."
Travis was silent. He reached over and gripped Eric's shoulder comfortingly and Eric finally let his emotions take him over.
BETH’S EYES WERE the first pair that Juliet met after her outburst. It was as if she’d blacked out. She had no idea where she was from the moment Eric turned his back on her. The devastation was too much to bear and she’d reacted. Now she realized, as her eyes met Beth’s and then that of various staff members who had been milling around as the explosion occurred, that if her company only thought she had something going on with Eric, they certainly knew now.
As Beth stood there, shocked and wide-eyed, Juliet only then noticed that she shed no tears. Her chest was numb. Her mind was numb. And she turned around and she addressed her staff sternly as she adjusted her sweater over her hips. “If I so much as read an allusion to this in any of the papers, I’m firing every single person in this room without hesitation, do you understand me? Now keep your eyes to yourselves and get back to work, the day isn’t over, yet.”
With that, she lifted her chin and marched into her office.
Beth caught the door as Juliet attempted to slam it behind her and she closed it and locked it and followed Juliet to her desk. As she stood there and pretended to look busy, Beth gaped at her, her ombre locks falling over her white, sleeveless shoulders. “I don’t even know where to start,” she began incredulously. “What…what the hell happened? I mean, no heads up whatsoever that Sven was leading the meeting. And you could cut the tension in that room with a damn knife. What the hell is going on?"
Juliet sucked in a breath and puffed out her chest, keeping her composure and forcing her strength. “Simple, really. I behaved inappropriately. When I said I didn’t believe in mixing business with pleasure, I meant it.”
“You threw a candy bowl at Eric and then you screamed at him about leaving you alone. Either the two of you play some really fucked up sex games or you don’t know the definition of the word pleasure.”
Juliet smirked. “Ironic, isn’t it? That I threw a candy bowl at him?”
Beth appeared unamused. “Start from the beginning.”
The numbness felt so powerful that Juliet wanted to laugh. She wanted to curl up in a ball and laugh and laugh until her stomach cramped and tears rolled down her cheeks. Maybe it was the exhaustion setting in. Maybe it was her desperate need to save face. Or maybe she was just tired of the back and forth. Maybe, now that whatever argument they’d had felt so permanent, she was finally able to feel a little relief. Juliet knew herself. She’d always known she wasn’t relationship material. While Eric Reynolds was someone special and dear to her heart, and always would be, she just couldn’t be what he wanted her to be. And maybe he finally realized it.
She would not address the nauseating wave of hurt and longing that threatened her throat in that very moment.
Clearing her throat, she tried to concentrate on rearranging the items on her desk. She realized that her voice was now dangerously monotone. “I quit therapy,” she informed Beth. “I went and I decided that it wasn’t for me and I quit. It was my choice.”
“Jules,” Beth whispered.
“I’m an adult,” Juliet countered defensively. “If I want to quit therapy, or choose not to go, it’s my right.”
“But you said you wanted help.”
“I did. And then I sought help and I sat through help and it didn’t help. So I left.”
“It takes more than one session. Nobody said it was going to be easy.”
“My life is never going to be easy, Beth. With or without therapy. I merely decided not to waste my time. Things were going to…Eric was going to leave eventually. It was only a matter of time. Better sooner than later, right?”
“Jules,” Beth whispered, shaking her head with regret. “Sweetie, he loves you so much.”
Tears stung Juliet’s eyes as Beth’s choice of words slammed into her chest. That word had never entered Juliet’s mind. Not once. Not…had it? Had she missed something? Had he ever said--?
No. No, that was never where any of their conversations led. It was easy for hopeless romantics to jump to their own conclusions and that’s just what Beth was. Just because she’d found herself a happy little life with Travis obviously meant that everybody loved each other automatically. But they didn’t. Eric didn’t love Juliet. That was the harsh reality of the situation.
So Juliet blinked the tears away and shook her hair off of her shoulder. “He sure has a funny way of showing it,” she muttered. “I mean, you watched him walk out on me, right? We both saw the same scene?”
“Yes. And I watched you chase him and beg him to stay. It hurt my heart. Please talk to me.”
Juliet let out an aggravated breath and her eyes darted around to fight the tears that brimmed them now. She ignored the heat in her face and she cleared the lump from her throat. “Everything is as it should be. I told him I quit therapy. He jumped to conclusions. I had been telling him that I needed to get myself well. That I couldn’t be with him until I was well. And he took my quitting as a personal attack against him. He accused me of lying about everything I ever said, accusing me of never caring about him—neither of which is true and you know it. He made up his mind on the spot. He chose to leave me, he chose to end it.” Finally, Juliet’s voice cracked and the tears could hold back no more. “He finally came to his senses, Beth. I’m no good for him.”
“But that’s wrong!” Beth objected. “Every bit of that is wrong.”
“I think maybe he just needed a way out. And this was it.”
“No,” Beth shook her head. “No, I don’t believe that for a second.”
“Believe what you want,” Juliet replied with a wave of her hand. “What’s done is done.”
“This act you’re putting on is abominable. Don’t forget, Juliet, I’m the only other person on this planet who knows you better than you do—“
“No,” Juliet shook her head, finally allowing a tear to fall from her eye. “Eric knows me better than I know me. Sometimes I think he is me.”
Finally, Juliet collapsed in her chair and held her head in her hands. “It’s my fault,” she squeaked through her tears. “I did this. I drove him away, I…I didn’t make him feel important.”
“That’s not true,” Beth replied, settling herself down in a chair across the desk. “He shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, he should have listened to you. He should have kept his promises—“
“I didn’t keep mine.”
“Yeah? So what? He made promises that he would be there no matter what, did he not?”
Juliet nodded.
“Okay, then,” Beth concluded, sitting back in her chair. “He might be Travis’s brother, but it doesn’t make him any less of a bastard.”
“He’s not a bastard,” Juliet whispered.
“Well. I’m not in your relationship by any means, but I know enough about it to know that he’s being extremely unfair. This is bullshit.”
“It’s for the best,” Juliet said quietly. “I’m so tired, Beth.”
Beth looked at her incredulously. “Surely you’re not giving up on him, too?”
“I’m not going to chase someone who clearly doesn’t want me. Believe me, I know when I’m not wanted. I’ve spent my entire life honing the craft. And, honestly, he’s better off, anyway. This is…this is best for everybody. Honestly, it is.”
“I refuse to believe that,” Beth shook her head. “This isn’t over. The two of you need to cool off and then talk. That’s it. That’s all you need to do.”
“I don’t want this to put a burden on yours and Travis’s relationship. Please don’t let this interfere. You’re really a great couple. So adorable. And you deserve each other, you deserve happiness.”
“Oh, it won’t interfere,” Beth replied. “But I’m not one to keep my opinions very quiet, either.”
“Beth, please,” Juliet whispered.
“Don’t worry.” Beth stood up and looked around. “Are you going home?”
“No,” Juliet shook her head. “No, I can’t go home every time something like this happens. I’m going to finish out the day, I have a lot to do.”
“Well. I just remembered that I have an appointment to get to so I’ll be back later. Call or text if you need me. I mean it.”
“Will do,” Juliet assured her.
As Beth nearly rushed out the door, Juliet let out a breath. Oh, Beth. Please don’t concern yourself with this. Don’t ruin your relationship with Travis over it.
Her eyes landed on the phone on her desk and she studied it for a moment. What did they say the best way to deal with a breakup was? In situations where one might imply that some sort of breakup took place, that was. Right. Keep busy. Keep desperately busy. Without thinking any further on the subject, she jerked up the receiver and pounded out the number.
“TAKE ME OUT tonight,” Juliet barked into the phone.
Jason froze where he stood in the middle of his office to let the demand process for a moment as he stared at his closed door. Finally, he found his words. “What?”
“Take me out tonight.”
“Um…” He looked down and closed the file that lay open on his desk. “You weren’t kidding when you said you didn’t know much about the dating scene, were you?”
“Jason, come on. Just pick me up and take me out.”
“That’s not exactly the best way to get a guy to accept an invitation, you know that, right?”
“I’m not talking to a guy, I’m talking to you.”
Jason threw his head back in laughter. “Wow. Wow, Jules, that almost hurts. Jesus, you must be really hard up for a date if you’re asking—excuse me, demanding--me. You know, because I’m so horribly grotesque and shit. Believe it or not, women tend to find me pretty damn irresistible—“
“Jason,” she huffed.
Finally, he sighed. “Sweets. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long, long time. But it just so happens that I can’t tonight.”
“What?” Juliet spat. “Why?”
Jason raised his eyebrows and slid himself into his chair. “Well, because Noah aced his spelling test this week so I’m taking him out for pizza and arcade games.” Then he paused. “Unless…you wanna come with? But you’ll have to keep your hands to yourself. No getting frisky in front of the kid. I know that might be a problem for you, but…”
“Believe me, it won’t be a problem,” she deadpanned.
Jason smiled. “Every time you open your mouth, you’re stabbing me in the heart. Beneath this hard, chiseled, and insanely good-looking exterior, I’m actually a warm and fuzzy teddy bear.”
“Christ, what is it with you men and being so full of yourselves lately?”
“Come again?”
“Nothing,” she breathed. “That sounds perfect. When and where? And will Noah be okay with it?”
“He’ll be fine with it. He’s been asking about you recently. Might wanna check that shitty attitude at the door, though. The plan is to actually have fun tonight.”
“I’m sorry,” she replied quietly. “It’s just been…it’s been a really stressful week. And, hey, we can celebrate the mortgage closing, right?”
“Yeah,” he smiled. “Sounds good.”
“Great,” her voice softened. “Thank you.”
“Jules,” he replied gently. “I’m glad you called.”
“Me, too. But—Jason, you know that we’re just friends—“
“I know.”
“I mean, I can’t handle anymore…I mean, I can’t be more clear, I can’t—“
“Just friends,” he interjected. “Don’t worry, we’re cool. But it—it sounds like you need to talk…”
“I’m talked out, Jason. I’m talked out, I’m cried out, my sanity is on its last leg. Pizza and arcades with a close friend and a seven-year-old might be just what the doctor ordered.”
“Okay, then. It’s a…non-date.”
She giggled lightly. “Yes. A non-date.”
“Be at your place around seven?”
“Perfect.”
As Jason ended the call, he lay his cell phone down on his desk in front of him and let out a breath. Talked out and cried out, huh? This wasn’t the Juliet he knew. The Juliet he knew didn’t hold back. She poured her heart out to him at a moment’s notice, she didn’t harbor secrets, she smiled and she laughed. Sure, she was a little naïve, but what young twenty-something wasn’t? Some things never changed, he supposed. Two people, old friends and unlucky in love, who still couldn’t find a way to lean on each other the way they were so obviously destined to—it was a shame, really.
He smiled at a memory that had come to him occasionally over the years. One night, after work at the bar, they’d had a few drinks as they sat in the window seat of the tiny apartment she shared with Beth. Beth had long since passed out and he and Juliet had sat up and talked about whatever random shit popped up into their heads. At one point, he had leaned over and nudged her shoulder with his and said, “You and I are like peanut butter and jelly, you know that?”
She’d smiled. Then she’d giggled. And then she’d said, “I love peanut butter.”
“Yeah? Well, I love jelly,” he’d replied.
She’d giggled again before he melded the two together with his lips and she surrendered to him without hesitation. He knew it was her inebriated state that caused her legs to straddle his lap and her arms to wrap themselves securely around his neck. He supposed she couldn’t be that inebriated, though, to suddenly have enough clarity to scramble off of him and declare that they shouldn’t be doing any of that, and she’d looked so frightened over it that he hadn’t had the heart to argue with her about it. It was the first and last time he had ever kissed her and, to date, it had been the sweetest kiss he had ever shared with a woman.
So how did he get Juliet back to that point?
No. He couldn’t. She was obviously going through something and was clearly not open to relationships of any kind. Especially since she’d just recently broken it off with a guy she claimed to care for—which, according to the tabloids, was a rarity. So…what did he do with that? Did he take advantage of it? Or did he respect her wishes?
Or could he do both…?
Maybe he’d mention peanut butter and jelly to her tonight and see where that got him. ‘Baby steps with this one, J,’ he told himself. ‘Baby steps.’
ERIC JUST WANTED to be alone. He’d finished out the day at work so that he didn’t have to think about what had just happened at Carson Innovations. He didn’t want to believe it was true. He couldn’t process that Juliet gave up on her therapy in the middle of the workday. He was the CEO of Reynold’s Construction, for fuck’s sake. He had a company to run. And goddamn it, he was going to run it.
But now he was home. And now he had all the time in the world to go over the events and allow it all to sink in. And that was all he really wanted to do. He wanted to sit there and wallow in self-pity until his eyes grew heavy. He wanted to drink his beer by himself. He wanted to talk himself out of throwing his phone against the wall or, even worse, blowing Juliet’s phone up with texts and voicemails. That was what he really wanted to do.
But, no. Instead, Travis insisted on coming over with pizza. Because somehow he was convinced that Eric might actually be hungry. He scoffed into the air and turned his beer bottle up. Slouching into the couch, he didn’t even glance at the sports channel that lit up his living room. Was the volume even on? Didn’t matter. Even if it was, all he would be able to hear was, “I quit therapy. I decided I didn’t need it.”
He couldn’t believe he’d been able to turn his back and walk out on her. That he’d actually been able to go through with it. What did that mean? Why was he sick over it now, why didn’t he go back there and explain to her that he was upset and that he was ready to talk? Why?
Because deep down, he knew why. He knew it was because all the talking would do would just go around in circles, just like it always did. She wasn’t ready to commit and he’d been committed since day one. Except now, though. Now she was likely under the impression that he didn’t care anymore. Because he left her. Again, he left her. He left her to go get Travis and now he’d left her because he was too upset to face her. No wonder she didn’t trust him. No wonder she didn’t commit. Eric was fucking unstable. And what she needed was stability.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
Eric barely heard Travis come in the door. He didn’t really care that he was there. But he charged into Eric’s living room anyway, tossed the pizza box down onto the coffee table, took off his jacket and threw it into a nearby chair, and clicked on the lamps in the room. Then he plopped down beside his brother, grabbed the beer out of his hand, and helped himself to it. “I brought dinner,” Travis stated plainly. “Now start talking.”
“Thanks, but I’m not hungry,” Eric replied, snatching his beer out of Travis’s hand.
“You probably ought to go ahead and start talking. Because I’m trying to decide if what I just witnessed needs to piss me off or not.”
Eric’s heart leapt in alarm. “What did you witness?”
“Is it really over between you and Juliet or not?”
Eric sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. Probably. Wouldn’t surprise me if it was.”
“Hm,” Travis huffed.
“She just—she said—she kept saying she wanted to be better for me. She wanted to go through therapy and get well and…and then she quit. She quit therapy.”
“Okay…”
“And that’s…that’s like giving up on me, you know? It’s like giving up on us. It’s not fair.”
“No…” Travis shook his head in thought. “No, that’s…that’s fucking stupid.”
“You don’t have to put it that way.”
“No, I mean you’re fucking stupid. It doesn’t make any sense. You fell all over yourself for her, acting like a babbling idiot all the time before she started therapy—and you pick now to throw in the towel? The fuck is your problem, dude?”
Eric’s eyes widened. Shit. Why hadn’t he thought of it that way? Travis was right. Eric was fucking stupid. “Shit, Travis. What the fuck have I done?”
“That’s what I’m saying,” he agreed, leaning over and helping himself to the pizza box. Settling back down into the couch, he shoved a bite into his mouth and packed it into his cheek. “Since when did her therapy become all about you? Isn’t the point of therapy to take care of one’s self? Shit, it’s no wonder she’s throwing shit at you. You just pulled the typical man card and chose not to listen to or understand what she was saying. And I should know. I’ve learned shit tons about sensitivity and understanding since I’ve been with Beth.” Travis paused to chew his food while he shook his head and chuckled. “Imagine that. Me coaching you on sensitivity. Thought I’d never see the day.”
“So I fucked up,” Eric concluded. “Again. I left her when she needed me most. Literally. I literally just turned around and walked away. I didn’t even look back. How could I…what was I thinking?”
“You’re probably spent, dude. Fuck, I would be. But it’s not really her fault, you know. I mean, now that I know what her deal is, it’s a little easier to understand why she is the way she is. And from what I understand, in those situations, you’re lucky to be getting out of it what you’re getting. You’re either one of two things, man, you’re either patient or you’re not. She’s either worth the effort or she’s not. And that’s on you. It’s not on her progress in therapy. She needs more support than just the therapist, you know.”
“I know that,” Eric growled angrily. “I know what kind of support she needs more than anybody, don’t you dare ever accuse me of not supporting her!”
“Except that you didn’t support her today, did you?”
Eric fell silent. Travis was right. Eric was a horrible person.
“Ah, well,” Travis shrugged, leaning over and digging his phone out of his pocket. “It’s okay, I think she’ll get over it in time. After all, she has one hell of a support system. Thanks to you, she’ll be over you in no time at all.”
Eric seethed with anger at his words as Travis unlocked his phone, tapped a couple of places, then tossed the phone onto Eric’s stomach, where it landed with a loud flop. Picking it up, Eric looked over at his twin. “What is this?”
“I decided to stop at Pepperoni Palace tonight because they have the best cheese. Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so. Check it out, dude. She didn’t see me, but…I figured you’d want proof.”
As the sweat broke out over Eric’s palms, he turned Travis’s phone over in his hand. On the screen was a dimly-lit scene, grainy from the zoom feature, but Juliet’s smile was unmistakable. She smiled at the curly-haired little boy next to her and across from her was the very broad back of a tall, dark-haired man. It was all Eric could make out in the picture. But Juliet…she…she… “So she’s…”
“That’s Jason,” Travis informed him. “And that’s his kid.”
“He has a kid?” Eric asked, unable to stop looking at the picture.
“Yup,” Travis replied, loudly swallowing his bite before taking another. “A seven-year-old. Dude’s a single father and shit. Beth fawns all over him all the time. Jason-this, Jason-that. I mean, they’re old friends, it’s nothing, really. But, dude. If I was a chick, I’d do him. But that’s not the point—“
“The points you’re making aren’t exactly comforting…”
“Does it matter? You left her, remember? What the hell is she supposed to do, pine for the guy who left her in the dust in her hour of need? I mean, think about it. Anyway, like I said, it’s cool. She’ll be fine. She has friends and shit, people who care about her. So get over it and move on, man.”
Eric was appalled at Travis’s suggestion. Just as appalled as the picture of her with another man and his kid were. Was it possible, what Travis was implying? Was it possible that Juliet was moving on to Jason? Or that it could happen? Eric had already heard too much about this Jason guy—enough to make him sick. He already hated him and he hadn’t even met him. Why was Jason and his kid making Eric’s woman smile like that? Why was Eric referring to Juliet that way?
“So—so you’re saying I should just--?”
“No, goddamn it,” Travis interrupted, his tone agitated. “I’m saying fucking get your shit together and not give up. She cares about you the way you care about her, dude. Fuck, even I can see it. She’s the one, man. Make it happen. Don’t lose her to Jason, don’t…don’t lose her to…you know?”
“A ready-made family,” Eric whispered as he handed Travis’s phone back to him. “A family. It’s all she ever wanted—“
“—and everything she never knew,” Travis finished. “If she wants a family, give it to her. If she wants time, give it to her. Do you want her or not?”
“Yes.”
“Then stop throwing bitch fits when you don’t get your way.”
“I gotta talk to her.”
“That’s the spirit!” Travis cheered. Then he let out a breath and shook his head, his attention focused on his third pizza slice. “Except not right now. ‘Cause she’s not home. And she probably won’t answer her phone.”
“Travis,” Eric sighed, sitting up from the couch and resting his beer bottle on the coffee table. “Can you just--?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he relented. He grabbed up another slice, walking over to the chair and grabbing up his jacket. “Told Beth I’d be home no later than ten, anyway. Getting laid is fun. I’d like to keep that going, you know?”
After Travis left, Eric let out a breath and peered at the mess on his coffee table. His hand tingled to grab up his phone, but his mind wouldn’t leave the mess. So he threw away the bottles, tossed his uneaten half of the pizza into the fridge, and wiped up the table. When he was finally satisfied, he picked up his phone and sat on the edge of the couch.
It took him a moment before he finally decided on his method of delivery. She could delete a voicemail before she listened to it. But a text message didn’t give her that kind of time. She’d have to look at it before she deleted it. So he sat and he typed, his hands trembling. “Baby, please. I’m so sorry. I overreacted and I didn’t listen and I’m sorry. I said I would be there for you no matter what and I meant it. No matter what. Please talk to me. Let’s make this right. Give me a chance. I’m in hell right now, I’m so pissed off at myself. I’m not upset at you, please know that. I support you in everything. I do. I promise I do. Just please text me back or call me. I care about you, Jules. I care about you so much. Let me make this right.”
He didn’t even bother to read over it. He just hit ‘Send’ and he sat there.
He should have just thrown his phone against the wall in the first place.
The nightmares wouldn’t seem to quit.
Juliet had to find some peace somehow. Actually, no. She knew how to find peace—it lie in the form of blonde hair, blue eyes, and warm, safe, strong arms. Every night, as she sat in her kitchen window sill, puffing on her cigarette, she longed to be wrapped up in Eric’s arms. Safe in his arms she didn’t have the nightmares that resulted in the smoking. She never had to leave the bed in the middle of the night. She was lulled into a deep, dreamless sleep by the sound of his heartbeat and the feel of his breath on her face and it was everything she ever needed in life. So why did she continue to sit there alone?
Guilt. Complete and utter guilt. The dreams that had been plaguing her repeatedly starred none other than Dr. Leslie Thorne. In the dreams, various events took place. In one, Dr. Thorne urged Eric to run. “Run,” she’d said to him. “Run while you can. This may be your only opportunity!”
In another, Dr. Thorne informed Juliet, “This will never get better. Because you can’t get better, Eric is gone. You have to come and see me. I am the doctor and he is not.”
Juliet woke up in a cold sweat every time.
She hadn’t found the courage to tell Eric that she had quit therapy. She’d managed to dodge the question long enough to figure out how she was going to approach it, except that she never did. Nothing she could say would be good enough. She would just have to pray that he understood and would support her in her decision. She was afraid to let him down. She was afraid of his pity, afraid of the impending lecture, afraid of his disappointment in her. She knew in her heart of hearts that he would never judge her. But it didn’t make the fear any better.
So many times that week she had thought to call or text him. She needed to hear his voice, she needed his laugh, she needed to hear the way he called her ‘babe’ that made her smile until her cheeks hurt. Except that she was reminded of his conference calls in Japan and knew he was up late, working and sleeping crazy hours to fulfill his duties to them. No doubt he was doing a wonderful job keeping it together and he probably could have multitasked with her text messages, but she opted not to risk it. So instead of burdening him with her silly dreams, she chose to let him work and rest in peace.
However, by the time Friday rolled around, she felt like a zombie. Coffee wouldn’t even help her with the state of unrest she was in. Her only saving grace was the excitement of finally owning the building that they were now meeting about tearing down that morning.
When Eric walked in the door of the board room at Carson Innovations with the rest of his team, Juliet’s breath caught in her throat. He looked absolutely amazing his pristine black business suit and his red necktie. Red. He’d worn red. The irony nearly caused her to laugh. Juliet had chosen purple. Black pants and a purple sweater over a white button-down. For a meeting—or any workday, for that matter—it was a bit casual for Juliet’s norm, but she supposed that these guys wouldn’t mind a little Casual Friday. Except now they walked in, apparently meaning business.
Juliet was ready for it to be over.
Eric’s stature and his set jaw radiated power and the effect left Juliet tingling with excitement throughout her entire body. However, she’d caught her reflection in a mirror on the wall and halted in her tracks. She didn’t look near as sexy as her insides felt at the moment.
Jesus, she looked like death warmed over!
How had she not noticed the dark circles and her washed-out color when she was getting ready for work that morning? All it would take was one look from Eric and he would know—he would know everything she’d been through that week. He would scold her for not coming to him and wouldn’t even try to hear that she was trying to spare him. He may not have wanted to be spared, but he needed it whether he realized it or not.
“Sven,” she rushed quietly, hiding herself with the blonde Adonis’s form. “I need you to lead the meeting today.”
“What?” He replied, confused. “But you said that once we closed on the building that you would have complete—“
“I know what I said,” she hissed. “But look at me, I’m a hot mess!”
Sven narrowed his eyes and examined her. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but since you brought it up…”
“Thanks for your honesty,” she deadpanned.
“Jules,” he whispered. “Does this have to do with Eric in any way?”
She instantly broke a sweat and she froze for a moment. “Eric? Why? Why does it have to have anything to do with him?”
“Because you’re a horrible liar,” he grinned. “The entire company knows you have something going on with him.”
“It’s nobody’s business what I have going on with who!”
“Be that as it may, when a man is sending you multitudes of apology gifts and picking you up from work and causing you to grin like a gooney idiot every time his name is mentioned…the jig is pretty much up.” He followed his statement with a sympathetic nod.
Juliet grew flustered and she glared up at Sven. So everybody knew, huh? She was that obvious about it? Damn him. Damn Eric and her addiction to him. This was starting to affect her professional life which was the one thing she had wanted to avoid.
She lifted her chin in defiance and threw her shoulders back. “Well, then,” she huffed. “Maybe it’s about time you picked up some more responsibility around here, anyway.”
Sven gaped at her. “More responsib—are you kidding me? I’m the one who breaks my back for these projects! I’m the one who gets his hands dirty every day, dealing with the foremen, tromping through the mud—“
“Okay, okay, I get it. But you know this project, Sven. You probably know it better than I do! Just lead this meeting, just this once. Please? Look at me, even you agreed that I’m in no shape to do it.”
Narrowing his eyes warily, she detected the pout forming on his lips, but he nodded. “Fine. But only because you’re right, you do look like a hot mess.”
“Thank you,” she breathed. “I owe you one. I’ll get you and Marco a reservation at Cavalo’s.”
Sven’s eyes widened like a kid on Christmas. “You can do that?”
“Of course I can. I know the owner. Now, come on, let’s get started.”
Finding herself a seat beside Sven, she purposely landed herself on the same side of the table that Eric sat on. She breathed a sigh of relief as she buried herself in the paperwork underneath her head. There would be no looking across the table at each other, no impure thoughts, no winking, no silent flirting and, most importantly, no opportunities for Eric to study her. Get through the meeting, get back to the workday. That was the goal.
Now. If only she could keep her own eyes off of Eric…
ERIC SAT AT the conference table, his chin resting against his fingertips as the rest of both Juliet's and his own staff made their way out the door. Once the room had cleared out and it was just the two of them, Juliet turned around and faced him. She was aware, well aware, of his lingering presence.
The truth was, he didn't even know where to begin. He'd felt so many emotions in the past week that it was growing difficult to pin down exactly how he felt about anything. He hadn’t heard from her all week. Not since the night he had revealed his illness to her. The night he’d lain wrapped up in her arms and talked about everything for hours. He thought they had finally found a good place again. He thought that was the beginning of a stable relationship for them. But then she’d just…disappeared again. And now they'd spent nearly two hours sitting in a meeting together that Juliet had allowed Sven to take complete control of while she sat as far away from Eric as possible, careful to make sure that she was out of his line of vision. What had he done? Was there something he'd missed?
Finally, he stood from his chair, taking his briefcase in his hand, and adjusting his tie. Carefully, he approached her, with as much confidence as he could muster, until he was standing across from her in the doorway. Her eyes would always devastate him in the best possible way, nearly the color of dark cherry wood, lined with lashes so long that he was almost always reminded of a mysterious, elusive gypsy when he looked into them. Well...elusive was definitely the correct term, it seemed.
He cleared his throat as she swept her long locks off of her shoulder and looked up at him expectantly. "That was a good meeting, wasn't it?" He asked, fighting for an ice breaker.
She grinned at him, her smile bright, but she couldn't get the uncertainty in her eyes past him. "It was. I'm excited. I can't believe this is finally happening."
“Jules?” He asked gently. “What’s going on with you?”
She shook her head, her eyes darting around nervously. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.”
“Right,” he nodded. “You know you’re the most beautiful woman in the world to me, right? But honestly, you look like you’ve been through hell and back and I haven’t heard from you all week. ‘Everything’s fine’ isn’t quite the answer I was looking for.”
“I’m fine,” she repeated firmly. “And you…you worked late this week, you had your consulting—“
“Yeah, for two of those days.”
“Yeah?” She challenged. “Well, you didn’t call me, either. And you never fail to call. So I took that to mean that work was kicking your ass and I decided not to crowd you. Is that a crime?”
Eric opened his mouth to reply and then he closed it again. Well. She had a point. He hadn’t called. And he had been busy. So damn busy he could barely breathe. Jesus, had he found himself too busy for her? Never. That could never happen again.
So he cleared his throat and changed the subject. "How's, um...how's therapy going?"
He detected an immediate change in her demeanor, the tension rising like wildfire. She straightened her shoulders defensively. "I quit therapy."
Eric's jaw fell slack and he thought he was going to hit the floor. He fought to keep his knees strong as he stood there and looked at her, the devastation beating the hell out of him. "You--you quit therapy?"
"Yes," she replied, matter-of-factly. "I decided I don't need it. I've gotten by this long without it and I'm doing just fine. I don't--I don't need it. It's fine."
He furrowed his brow and leaned his head to the side, desperately fighting to grasp what was happening here. "But you didn't...you didn't even want to give it a chance?"
"I gave it a chance," she announced with forced confidence. "And I decided that it wasn't for me. Therapy is a joke, Eric. It's supposed to help you, but all it does is tear you down and make it worse. I don't need that in my life."
"Juliet," he pleaded in a near whisper, barely able to keep himself together now. "What about all the things you said? Was that...? I mean, did you...?"
He saw the realization flash across her face, but the moment was brief. She returned to feigning confidence, but the words still never found her lips.
"So you're giving up," he concluded. "You're giving up on therapy. You're giving up on yourself and, in turn, you're giving up on us."
"No," she finally whispered, shaking her head. "I'm not--"
"Everything you told me was a lie."
"It wasn’t."
"I know I promised you that I wouldn't feel led on, that you could—that you could do what you needed to do. But that's exactly what you did. That's all you ever did, was jerk me around. You don't care about me, Juliet. You never did."
"That is not true, how dare you?"
He couldn't stand there and look at her anymore. The pain he felt was a brand new pain he'd never felt before. It was worse than anything he'd ever felt before. And there was nothing else he could do but turn on his heel, dumbfounded, and leave her standing there.
"Eric!" She called after him. He could her hear heels clicking feverishly against the floor behind him. "Wait! Where are you going?"
He looked up just in time to watch Travis, who had been holding the elevator for him, dart himself inside, his arm still holding the doors. Once Eric stepped over the threshold and Travis released his arm, shards of glass flew through the small crack that was left as the doors closed. The sound of the shattering object was devastating on the other side of the elevator doors as Eric collapsed against the wall and sank to the floor at the sound of Juliet's muffled screaming. "You promised me that I would never be alone! You promised!”
Eric buried his face in his hands, his fingers pulling hard at his short hair. He could only hear Travis randomly hitting the elevator buttons, jamming it up, and sinking to the floor beside him. "Bro?" He asked quietly. "You wanna talk about it?"
"I think it's finally over," Eric whispered through gritted teeth. "There's nothing left to talk about."
Travis was silent. He reached over and gripped Eric's shoulder comfortingly and Eric finally let his emotions take him over.
BETH’S EYES WERE the first pair that Juliet met after her outburst. It was as if she’d blacked out. She had no idea where she was from the moment Eric turned his back on her. The devastation was too much to bear and she’d reacted. Now she realized, as her eyes met Beth’s and then that of various staff members who had been milling around as the explosion occurred, that if her company only thought she had something going on with Eric, they certainly knew now.
As Beth stood there, shocked and wide-eyed, Juliet only then noticed that she shed no tears. Her chest was numb. Her mind was numb. And she turned around and she addressed her staff sternly as she adjusted her sweater over her hips. “If I so much as read an allusion to this in any of the papers, I’m firing every single person in this room without hesitation, do you understand me? Now keep your eyes to yourselves and get back to work, the day isn’t over, yet.”
With that, she lifted her chin and marched into her office.
Beth caught the door as Juliet attempted to slam it behind her and she closed it and locked it and followed Juliet to her desk. As she stood there and pretended to look busy, Beth gaped at her, her ombre locks falling over her white, sleeveless shoulders. “I don’t even know where to start,” she began incredulously. “What…what the hell happened? I mean, no heads up whatsoever that Sven was leading the meeting. And you could cut the tension in that room with a damn knife. What the hell is going on?"
Juliet sucked in a breath and puffed out her chest, keeping her composure and forcing her strength. “Simple, really. I behaved inappropriately. When I said I didn’t believe in mixing business with pleasure, I meant it.”
“You threw a candy bowl at Eric and then you screamed at him about leaving you alone. Either the two of you play some really fucked up sex games or you don’t know the definition of the word pleasure.”
Juliet smirked. “Ironic, isn’t it? That I threw a candy bowl at him?”
Beth appeared unamused. “Start from the beginning.”
The numbness felt so powerful that Juliet wanted to laugh. She wanted to curl up in a ball and laugh and laugh until her stomach cramped and tears rolled down her cheeks. Maybe it was the exhaustion setting in. Maybe it was her desperate need to save face. Or maybe she was just tired of the back and forth. Maybe, now that whatever argument they’d had felt so permanent, she was finally able to feel a little relief. Juliet knew herself. She’d always known she wasn’t relationship material. While Eric Reynolds was someone special and dear to her heart, and always would be, she just couldn’t be what he wanted her to be. And maybe he finally realized it.
She would not address the nauseating wave of hurt and longing that threatened her throat in that very moment.
Clearing her throat, she tried to concentrate on rearranging the items on her desk. She realized that her voice was now dangerously monotone. “I quit therapy,” she informed Beth. “I went and I decided that it wasn’t for me and I quit. It was my choice.”
“Jules,” Beth whispered.
“I’m an adult,” Juliet countered defensively. “If I want to quit therapy, or choose not to go, it’s my right.”
“But you said you wanted help.”
“I did. And then I sought help and I sat through help and it didn’t help. So I left.”
“It takes more than one session. Nobody said it was going to be easy.”
“My life is never going to be easy, Beth. With or without therapy. I merely decided not to waste my time. Things were going to…Eric was going to leave eventually. It was only a matter of time. Better sooner than later, right?”
“Jules,” Beth whispered, shaking her head with regret. “Sweetie, he loves you so much.”
Tears stung Juliet’s eyes as Beth’s choice of words slammed into her chest. That word had never entered Juliet’s mind. Not once. Not…had it? Had she missed something? Had he ever said--?
No. No, that was never where any of their conversations led. It was easy for hopeless romantics to jump to their own conclusions and that’s just what Beth was. Just because she’d found herself a happy little life with Travis obviously meant that everybody loved each other automatically. But they didn’t. Eric didn’t love Juliet. That was the harsh reality of the situation.
So Juliet blinked the tears away and shook her hair off of her shoulder. “He sure has a funny way of showing it,” she muttered. “I mean, you watched him walk out on me, right? We both saw the same scene?”
“Yes. And I watched you chase him and beg him to stay. It hurt my heart. Please talk to me.”
Juliet let out an aggravated breath and her eyes darted around to fight the tears that brimmed them now. She ignored the heat in her face and she cleared the lump from her throat. “Everything is as it should be. I told him I quit therapy. He jumped to conclusions. I had been telling him that I needed to get myself well. That I couldn’t be with him until I was well. And he took my quitting as a personal attack against him. He accused me of lying about everything I ever said, accusing me of never caring about him—neither of which is true and you know it. He made up his mind on the spot. He chose to leave me, he chose to end it.” Finally, Juliet’s voice cracked and the tears could hold back no more. “He finally came to his senses, Beth. I’m no good for him.”
“But that’s wrong!” Beth objected. “Every bit of that is wrong.”
“I think maybe he just needed a way out. And this was it.”
“No,” Beth shook her head. “No, I don’t believe that for a second.”
“Believe what you want,” Juliet replied with a wave of her hand. “What’s done is done.”
“This act you’re putting on is abominable. Don’t forget, Juliet, I’m the only other person on this planet who knows you better than you do—“
“No,” Juliet shook her head, finally allowing a tear to fall from her eye. “Eric knows me better than I know me. Sometimes I think he is me.”
Finally, Juliet collapsed in her chair and held her head in her hands. “It’s my fault,” she squeaked through her tears. “I did this. I drove him away, I…I didn’t make him feel important.”
“That’s not true,” Beth replied, settling herself down in a chair across the desk. “He shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, he should have listened to you. He should have kept his promises—“
“I didn’t keep mine.”
“Yeah? So what? He made promises that he would be there no matter what, did he not?”
Juliet nodded.
“Okay, then,” Beth concluded, sitting back in her chair. “He might be Travis’s brother, but it doesn’t make him any less of a bastard.”
“He’s not a bastard,” Juliet whispered.
“Well. I’m not in your relationship by any means, but I know enough about it to know that he’s being extremely unfair. This is bullshit.”
“It’s for the best,” Juliet said quietly. “I’m so tired, Beth.”
Beth looked at her incredulously. “Surely you’re not giving up on him, too?”
“I’m not going to chase someone who clearly doesn’t want me. Believe me, I know when I’m not wanted. I’ve spent my entire life honing the craft. And, honestly, he’s better off, anyway. This is…this is best for everybody. Honestly, it is.”
“I refuse to believe that,” Beth shook her head. “This isn’t over. The two of you need to cool off and then talk. That’s it. That’s all you need to do.”
“I don’t want this to put a burden on yours and Travis’s relationship. Please don’t let this interfere. You’re really a great couple. So adorable. And you deserve each other, you deserve happiness.”
“Oh, it won’t interfere,” Beth replied. “But I’m not one to keep my opinions very quiet, either.”
“Beth, please,” Juliet whispered.
“Don’t worry.” Beth stood up and looked around. “Are you going home?”
“No,” Juliet shook her head. “No, I can’t go home every time something like this happens. I’m going to finish out the day, I have a lot to do.”
“Well. I just remembered that I have an appointment to get to so I’ll be back later. Call or text if you need me. I mean it.”
“Will do,” Juliet assured her.
As Beth nearly rushed out the door, Juliet let out a breath. Oh, Beth. Please don’t concern yourself with this. Don’t ruin your relationship with Travis over it.
Her eyes landed on the phone on her desk and she studied it for a moment. What did they say the best way to deal with a breakup was? In situations where one might imply that some sort of breakup took place, that was. Right. Keep busy. Keep desperately busy. Without thinking any further on the subject, she jerked up the receiver and pounded out the number.
“TAKE ME OUT tonight,” Juliet barked into the phone.
Jason froze where he stood in the middle of his office to let the demand process for a moment as he stared at his closed door. Finally, he found his words. “What?”
“Take me out tonight.”
“Um…” He looked down and closed the file that lay open on his desk. “You weren’t kidding when you said you didn’t know much about the dating scene, were you?”
“Jason, come on. Just pick me up and take me out.”
“That’s not exactly the best way to get a guy to accept an invitation, you know that, right?”
“I’m not talking to a guy, I’m talking to you.”
Jason threw his head back in laughter. “Wow. Wow, Jules, that almost hurts. Jesus, you must be really hard up for a date if you’re asking—excuse me, demanding--me. You know, because I’m so horribly grotesque and shit. Believe it or not, women tend to find me pretty damn irresistible—“
“Jason,” she huffed.
Finally, he sighed. “Sweets. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long, long time. But it just so happens that I can’t tonight.”
“What?” Juliet spat. “Why?”
Jason raised his eyebrows and slid himself into his chair. “Well, because Noah aced his spelling test this week so I’m taking him out for pizza and arcade games.” Then he paused. “Unless…you wanna come with? But you’ll have to keep your hands to yourself. No getting frisky in front of the kid. I know that might be a problem for you, but…”
“Believe me, it won’t be a problem,” she deadpanned.
Jason smiled. “Every time you open your mouth, you’re stabbing me in the heart. Beneath this hard, chiseled, and insanely good-looking exterior, I’m actually a warm and fuzzy teddy bear.”
“Christ, what is it with you men and being so full of yourselves lately?”
“Come again?”
“Nothing,” she breathed. “That sounds perfect. When and where? And will Noah be okay with it?”
“He’ll be fine with it. He’s been asking about you recently. Might wanna check that shitty attitude at the door, though. The plan is to actually have fun tonight.”
“I’m sorry,” she replied quietly. “It’s just been…it’s been a really stressful week. And, hey, we can celebrate the mortgage closing, right?”
“Yeah,” he smiled. “Sounds good.”
“Great,” her voice softened. “Thank you.”
“Jules,” he replied gently. “I’m glad you called.”
“Me, too. But—Jason, you know that we’re just friends—“
“I know.”
“I mean, I can’t handle anymore…I mean, I can’t be more clear, I can’t—“
“Just friends,” he interjected. “Don’t worry, we’re cool. But it—it sounds like you need to talk…”
“I’m talked out, Jason. I’m talked out, I’m cried out, my sanity is on its last leg. Pizza and arcades with a close friend and a seven-year-old might be just what the doctor ordered.”
“Okay, then. It’s a…non-date.”
She giggled lightly. “Yes. A non-date.”
“Be at your place around seven?”
“Perfect.”
As Jason ended the call, he lay his cell phone down on his desk in front of him and let out a breath. Talked out and cried out, huh? This wasn’t the Juliet he knew. The Juliet he knew didn’t hold back. She poured her heart out to him at a moment’s notice, she didn’t harbor secrets, she smiled and she laughed. Sure, she was a little naïve, but what young twenty-something wasn’t? Some things never changed, he supposed. Two people, old friends and unlucky in love, who still couldn’t find a way to lean on each other the way they were so obviously destined to—it was a shame, really.
He smiled at a memory that had come to him occasionally over the years. One night, after work at the bar, they’d had a few drinks as they sat in the window seat of the tiny apartment she shared with Beth. Beth had long since passed out and he and Juliet had sat up and talked about whatever random shit popped up into their heads. At one point, he had leaned over and nudged her shoulder with his and said, “You and I are like peanut butter and jelly, you know that?”
She’d smiled. Then she’d giggled. And then she’d said, “I love peanut butter.”
“Yeah? Well, I love jelly,” he’d replied.
She’d giggled again before he melded the two together with his lips and she surrendered to him without hesitation. He knew it was her inebriated state that caused her legs to straddle his lap and her arms to wrap themselves securely around his neck. He supposed she couldn’t be that inebriated, though, to suddenly have enough clarity to scramble off of him and declare that they shouldn’t be doing any of that, and she’d looked so frightened over it that he hadn’t had the heart to argue with her about it. It was the first and last time he had ever kissed her and, to date, it had been the sweetest kiss he had ever shared with a woman.
So how did he get Juliet back to that point?
No. He couldn’t. She was obviously going through something and was clearly not open to relationships of any kind. Especially since she’d just recently broken it off with a guy she claimed to care for—which, according to the tabloids, was a rarity. So…what did he do with that? Did he take advantage of it? Or did he respect her wishes?
Or could he do both…?
Maybe he’d mention peanut butter and jelly to her tonight and see where that got him. ‘Baby steps with this one, J,’ he told himself. ‘Baby steps.’
ERIC JUST WANTED to be alone. He’d finished out the day at work so that he didn’t have to think about what had just happened at Carson Innovations. He didn’t want to believe it was true. He couldn’t process that Juliet gave up on her therapy in the middle of the workday. He was the CEO of Reynold’s Construction, for fuck’s sake. He had a company to run. And goddamn it, he was going to run it.
But now he was home. And now he had all the time in the world to go over the events and allow it all to sink in. And that was all he really wanted to do. He wanted to sit there and wallow in self-pity until his eyes grew heavy. He wanted to drink his beer by himself. He wanted to talk himself out of throwing his phone against the wall or, even worse, blowing Juliet’s phone up with texts and voicemails. That was what he really wanted to do.
But, no. Instead, Travis insisted on coming over with pizza. Because somehow he was convinced that Eric might actually be hungry. He scoffed into the air and turned his beer bottle up. Slouching into the couch, he didn’t even glance at the sports channel that lit up his living room. Was the volume even on? Didn’t matter. Even if it was, all he would be able to hear was, “I quit therapy. I decided I didn’t need it.”
He couldn’t believe he’d been able to turn his back and walk out on her. That he’d actually been able to go through with it. What did that mean? Why was he sick over it now, why didn’t he go back there and explain to her that he was upset and that he was ready to talk? Why?
Because deep down, he knew why. He knew it was because all the talking would do would just go around in circles, just like it always did. She wasn’t ready to commit and he’d been committed since day one. Except now, though. Now she was likely under the impression that he didn’t care anymore. Because he left her. Again, he left her. He left her to go get Travis and now he’d left her because he was too upset to face her. No wonder she didn’t trust him. No wonder she didn’t commit. Eric was fucking unstable. And what she needed was stability.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
Eric barely heard Travis come in the door. He didn’t really care that he was there. But he charged into Eric’s living room anyway, tossed the pizza box down onto the coffee table, took off his jacket and threw it into a nearby chair, and clicked on the lamps in the room. Then he plopped down beside his brother, grabbed the beer out of his hand, and helped himself to it. “I brought dinner,” Travis stated plainly. “Now start talking.”
“Thanks, but I’m not hungry,” Eric replied, snatching his beer out of Travis’s hand.
“You probably ought to go ahead and start talking. Because I’m trying to decide if what I just witnessed needs to piss me off or not.”
Eric’s heart leapt in alarm. “What did you witness?”
“Is it really over between you and Juliet or not?”
Eric sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. Probably. Wouldn’t surprise me if it was.”
“Hm,” Travis huffed.
“She just—she said—she kept saying she wanted to be better for me. She wanted to go through therapy and get well and…and then she quit. She quit therapy.”
“Okay…”
“And that’s…that’s like giving up on me, you know? It’s like giving up on us. It’s not fair.”
“No…” Travis shook his head in thought. “No, that’s…that’s fucking stupid.”
“You don’t have to put it that way.”
“No, I mean you’re fucking stupid. It doesn’t make any sense. You fell all over yourself for her, acting like a babbling idiot all the time before she started therapy—and you pick now to throw in the towel? The fuck is your problem, dude?”
Eric’s eyes widened. Shit. Why hadn’t he thought of it that way? Travis was right. Eric was fucking stupid. “Shit, Travis. What the fuck have I done?”
“That’s what I’m saying,” he agreed, leaning over and helping himself to the pizza box. Settling back down into the couch, he shoved a bite into his mouth and packed it into his cheek. “Since when did her therapy become all about you? Isn’t the point of therapy to take care of one’s self? Shit, it’s no wonder she’s throwing shit at you. You just pulled the typical man card and chose not to listen to or understand what she was saying. And I should know. I’ve learned shit tons about sensitivity and understanding since I’ve been with Beth.” Travis paused to chew his food while he shook his head and chuckled. “Imagine that. Me coaching you on sensitivity. Thought I’d never see the day.”
“So I fucked up,” Eric concluded. “Again. I left her when she needed me most. Literally. I literally just turned around and walked away. I didn’t even look back. How could I…what was I thinking?”
“You’re probably spent, dude. Fuck, I would be. But it’s not really her fault, you know. I mean, now that I know what her deal is, it’s a little easier to understand why she is the way she is. And from what I understand, in those situations, you’re lucky to be getting out of it what you’re getting. You’re either one of two things, man, you’re either patient or you’re not. She’s either worth the effort or she’s not. And that’s on you. It’s not on her progress in therapy. She needs more support than just the therapist, you know.”
“I know that,” Eric growled angrily. “I know what kind of support she needs more than anybody, don’t you dare ever accuse me of not supporting her!”
“Except that you didn’t support her today, did you?”
Eric fell silent. Travis was right. Eric was a horrible person.
“Ah, well,” Travis shrugged, leaning over and digging his phone out of his pocket. “It’s okay, I think she’ll get over it in time. After all, she has one hell of a support system. Thanks to you, she’ll be over you in no time at all.”
Eric seethed with anger at his words as Travis unlocked his phone, tapped a couple of places, then tossed the phone onto Eric’s stomach, where it landed with a loud flop. Picking it up, Eric looked over at his twin. “What is this?”
“I decided to stop at Pepperoni Palace tonight because they have the best cheese. Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so. Check it out, dude. She didn’t see me, but…I figured you’d want proof.”
As the sweat broke out over Eric’s palms, he turned Travis’s phone over in his hand. On the screen was a dimly-lit scene, grainy from the zoom feature, but Juliet’s smile was unmistakable. She smiled at the curly-haired little boy next to her and across from her was the very broad back of a tall, dark-haired man. It was all Eric could make out in the picture. But Juliet…she…she… “So she’s…”
“That’s Jason,” Travis informed him. “And that’s his kid.”
“He has a kid?” Eric asked, unable to stop looking at the picture.
“Yup,” Travis replied, loudly swallowing his bite before taking another. “A seven-year-old. Dude’s a single father and shit. Beth fawns all over him all the time. Jason-this, Jason-that. I mean, they’re old friends, it’s nothing, really. But, dude. If I was a chick, I’d do him. But that’s not the point—“
“The points you’re making aren’t exactly comforting…”
“Does it matter? You left her, remember? What the hell is she supposed to do, pine for the guy who left her in the dust in her hour of need? I mean, think about it. Anyway, like I said, it’s cool. She’ll be fine. She has friends and shit, people who care about her. So get over it and move on, man.”
Eric was appalled at Travis’s suggestion. Just as appalled as the picture of her with another man and his kid were. Was it possible, what Travis was implying? Was it possible that Juliet was moving on to Jason? Or that it could happen? Eric had already heard too much about this Jason guy—enough to make him sick. He already hated him and he hadn’t even met him. Why was Jason and his kid making Eric’s woman smile like that? Why was Eric referring to Juliet that way?
“So—so you’re saying I should just--?”
“No, goddamn it,” Travis interrupted, his tone agitated. “I’m saying fucking get your shit together and not give up. She cares about you the way you care about her, dude. Fuck, even I can see it. She’s the one, man. Make it happen. Don’t lose her to Jason, don’t…don’t lose her to…you know?”
“A ready-made family,” Eric whispered as he handed Travis’s phone back to him. “A family. It’s all she ever wanted—“
“—and everything she never knew,” Travis finished. “If she wants a family, give it to her. If she wants time, give it to her. Do you want her or not?”
“Yes.”
“Then stop throwing bitch fits when you don’t get your way.”
“I gotta talk to her.”
“That’s the spirit!” Travis cheered. Then he let out a breath and shook his head, his attention focused on his third pizza slice. “Except not right now. ‘Cause she’s not home. And she probably won’t answer her phone.”
“Travis,” Eric sighed, sitting up from the couch and resting his beer bottle on the coffee table. “Can you just--?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he relented. He grabbed up another slice, walking over to the chair and grabbing up his jacket. “Told Beth I’d be home no later than ten, anyway. Getting laid is fun. I’d like to keep that going, you know?”
After Travis left, Eric let out a breath and peered at the mess on his coffee table. His hand tingled to grab up his phone, but his mind wouldn’t leave the mess. So he threw away the bottles, tossed his uneaten half of the pizza into the fridge, and wiped up the table. When he was finally satisfied, he picked up his phone and sat on the edge of the couch.
It took him a moment before he finally decided on his method of delivery. She could delete a voicemail before she listened to it. But a text message didn’t give her that kind of time. She’d have to look at it before she deleted it. So he sat and he typed, his hands trembling. “Baby, please. I’m so sorry. I overreacted and I didn’t listen and I’m sorry. I said I would be there for you no matter what and I meant it. No matter what. Please talk to me. Let’s make this right. Give me a chance. I’m in hell right now, I’m so pissed off at myself. I’m not upset at you, please know that. I support you in everything. I do. I promise I do. Just please text me back or call me. I care about you, Jules. I care about you so much. Let me make this right.”
He didn’t even bother to read over it. He just hit ‘Send’ and he sat there.
He should have just thrown his phone against the wall in the first place.